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submitted 4 months ago by Quintus@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

Until yesterday I used to have long hair. Due to unusually high tempetures I started having problems with the skin on my head. So, to avoid problems. I shaved it clean and it will remain that way until the skin in treated.

Now that I'm bald, I now know what's it's like. It sucks. My old hair suited me perfectly. It was messy just the right amount, perfect length, made me look different than the rest and handsome as hell. Every girl would look at me where ever I went to. Compliments floating over the air, jealous looks from other men etc. etc. It made me feel powerful.

But most importantly, it suited my personality and clothing. It was perfect! But now it's gone. I hate bald me. I will never look back at this bald version of myself.

It feels weird. I don't feel that bad but still it's disheartening.

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[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 75 points 4 months ago

If you attach so much of your personality and self-worth on your hair, this is probably for the best. Time to do some inner-reflection and figure out something a bit more meaningful to tether yourself to.

[-] RedditWanderer@lemmy.world 23 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Like his/her massive balls for talking about it somewhere.

[-] Lettuceeatlettuce@lemmy.ml 52 points 4 months ago

There was a study done by a university a while back that had hundreds of randomly selected women rate headshots of men from 1 to 10 in various stages of hair, from full thick head of hair to completely smooth bald.

They plotted the results and found that the full head of hair pictures averaged the highest, as you would expect. Then as the baldness increased, the average ratings dropped extremely quickly.

However, once the pictures got to the 100% bald men, the average ratings shot back up nearly identical to the full head of hair pictures.

The conclusion of the researchers: if you care about being perceived as attractive to women as a balding male, you need to commit to one or the other hard. Either get hair transplant surgery, get a high quality hairpiece, or commit to the bald look hardcore and shave it butter smooth.

The worst thing you can do from that perspective is to let the balding hair just kind of grow out all partial/thin.

I guess it's the classic stereotype, the thing the majority of women are attracted to is confidence. So if you're going bald, commit hardcore to the bald look, embrace hats, jewelry, and clothing that emphasizes your head shape and face, experiment with facial hair styles if you can grow it.

Keep your skin clean and your head held high. Lots of sexy bald guys out there, your worth as a person isn't held in your hair.

My balding grandpa dressed like the classic dorky old man; shorts pulled up over his belly, tucked-in baggy polo, socks pulled up to his knees with dad-sandals, and a dirty trucker cap worn crooked on his head with giant yellow-brown glasses. But damn if he wasn't the most confident man I've ever met. Humble, calm, but super hard worker and very driven, also honest as the day is long. Married happily to my grandma for over 40 years until freak cancer took him early.

Hundreds a people from all over the country came to his service, the amount of lives he had positively impacted was incredible. So many people pulled me aside to tell me what a great man my grandpa was, it was powerful.

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[-] ButtholeSpiders@startrek.website 32 points 4 months ago

You don’t, so appreciate the time you’ll have hair. Because once it’s truly gone, you’ll look back on this day and cry.

[-] RustyShackleford@literature.cafe 17 points 4 months ago

Exactly, Fabio here, is complaining about his hair.

[-] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I'd just like to say, as an actually bald person, I think it's okay. It suits me, it's low-maintenance, and it's nice in hot weather.

[-] Carighan@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

Thank you butthole spiders! 🕷️🕷️🕷️

[-] cherry@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 4 months ago

I find whenever I make a drastic hair change that after a few days, I couldn’t imagine going back to the old style

[-] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 months ago

It's like if you shave a mustache. "Where'd your lip go?!" then 2 days later you look normal again.

[-] robot_dog_with_gun@hexbear.net 28 points 4 months ago

wear red and black pajamas everywhere and start drinking earl grey

[-] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 25 points 4 months ago

Older guy here, went bald in my 20s. Let me say this: while going bald or becoming bald sucks ass, being bald is fine. I had lots of thick hair, and when it started going away and I didn't look like me in the mirror anymore. I figured women would find me less attractive.

What I learned is that it takes a while for your self image to catch up to your reflection in the mirror. One of the shitty things for most people about going bald is that it happens over a long time, and when you're used to one level of baldness, it gets worse. But eventually it levels out.

There are women who aren't attracted to bald guys (and that's fine, attraction is subjective), but it turns out there are women who are especially attracted to bald guys, and that the vast majority of women don't care. Doing things like having a comb-over or wearing a toupee are often a turnoff, but I think it's as much because of the associated lack of confidence than the look itself.

I can sincerely say that I wouldn't want my hair back today. The look suits me and it's easier to deal with.

[-] floofloof@lemmy.ca 10 points 4 months ago

The only bit that really sucks about being bald is if you don't wear a hat you get skin cancer.

[-] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 4 months ago

Or if you do it in the cold, you get the mother of all brain freezes after a while.

On the other hand, direct scalp access can come in handy for various medical things, and on a hot day I love splashing cold water on it.

[-] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

Yeah, true, there's an increased risk, and I'm not as good about it as I should be.

[-] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

That's exactly it. There was a grieving process for a few months as I came to terms with it, but now I don't think I'd go back if given the chance. I'm a bald guy, I look good bald and can make bald jokes whenever the ice needs breaking.

[-] DaveWave94@sub.wetshaving.social 16 points 4 months ago

As someone who suffers a receding hairline since he was 19 and is now 30, shaving my head at 20 was one of the best decisions of my life. It's mostly a confidence issue, as others have already stated. Look at some bald celebrities like Dwayne Johnson, Patrick Stewart, Jason Statham and so forth... They own their look and they look good. If it's only a temporary thing for you, know that hair will grow back soon.

How to deal with it?

  • Sunburn and skin cancer risk is a big issue. Always use sunblock, I personally prefer spray and gel over cream.
  • Headwear is obviously important too for protecting your scalp. Whatever you prefer: caps, bandanas, different hats. Choose one that fits well on your bald head, that means a little smaller than those you used with a full head of hair.
  • Exercise is, as someone else already pointed out, very important when you rock a smooth dome. Looking fit and improving your posture can do wonders for your self confidence.
  • Accessories and jewelry play a very big role too for bald people. Bracelets, necklaces and big aviator sunglasses usually look great.
  • Social: according to a study, fully bald people are usually perceived as taller, more aggressive and dominant than their counterparts. This isn't only positive as it means a lot of people could feel intimidated by you too. Smiling and a helpful, open-minded attitude do wonders there.

In general: if it's only for treating a medical issue and therefore temporary, don't worry too much. You're so much more than just your hair! And hair will grow back with enough patience.

[-] LowtierComputer@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

Do you have a gel sunscreen you recommend?

[-] DaveWave94@sub.wetshaving.social 4 points 4 months ago

As I live in Germany, my product recommendations might not be as helpful for anyone outside the EU. I usually get something for sensitive skin by one of our two biggest drugstore chains, 'Rossmann' or 'dm'. They have their own brands which are basically the same stuff for both, just under different names. One is "sun ozon", the other is "sundance". Weird names, but both have a "sensitive skin SPF 50+ face fluid" that does the job. Sadly it isn't a 100% reef friendly sunscreen. Since it also is similar to other sunscreen in that it makes your skin shiny, this sucks for baldies if you don't want to blind everyone when the sun hits your dome. I usually combat this by applying the sunscreen together with a mattifying moisturizer (there are a lot of good ones for oily/combination skin).

Two general recommendations I can give though: one, avoid special "bald guys" cosmetics. Those are usually way more expensive than others and offer nothing more in return. Good face moisturizers are usually better. Two, witch hazel toners can really make a difference on your scalp. I feel like it helps to keep your skin smooth and bump-free and it will also help to close micro cuts from shaving.

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[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.ml 14 points 4 months ago
[-] VelvetStorm@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago

You put way too much value on your hair. You are the same person as you were before other than losing your confidence

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[-] ronondex@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 4 months ago

I use to have long hair and a ponytail. I started to lose hair, like all men in my family, around ~25 yo. (I swear I don't do roids or testosterone treatment)

I just jumped the gun and shaved i all.

I really enjoy being bald:

  • It feels great to be able to scrub and moisturise your scalp after every shower
  • Sometimes, I will let my beard grow for a few days, and groom it real well (shave clean the bottom half of my neck, and the top of the cheeks). I believe I look good.
[-] Epzillon@lemmy.ml 10 points 4 months ago

Bringa back Hats! Ive said this many times, but we need to bring Möre headwear into fashion. Hats go hard.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 months ago

Since you're stuck with baldness until the skin is treated, maybe have fun with it? Get some kids' WASHABLE markers and let your friends' kids draw on it.

Oh, what am I saying? You already have A PERFECT ORB!

Just get yourself between 2 mirrors and contemplate it.

[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

DO NOT CONTEMPLATE THE ORB!

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[-] mihnt@lemmy.ca 10 points 4 months ago

Hey, 40-seomthing here. Been bald since I was 19. Own. It. Go get yourself a nice hat and a mullet wig and give less fucks.

[-] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 10 points 4 months ago

wait til you dont have a choice. uhg

[-] TheBigBrother@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

Just don't give a flying fuck about anyone else's opinion about you, it works for other things also. Good luck!!

[-] Qkall@lemmy.ml 9 points 4 months ago

To echo much already said... As a dude that had magnificent curly locks. I wtarted balding at 18 and now have a hairline of an 18th century monk... If you can shave your head do that. I also have eczema...so that's out. So hats and just being cool with it. If you try to hide it .. people know. Just own that shit. Frankly ladies don't seem to mind it... Personality goes a long way. Humor goes further

[-] InAbsentia@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

It's all about attitude and confidence baby. I started losing my hair at 15, had a BALD spot by 18 and by 20 the hair on top was little scraggles. I owned it. People gave me shit for it but that's typical when you're abnormal. You learn to joke back and you'll eventually realize it's a minor issue and it won't stop you from being you, which will be the most attractive part to anyone worth your time.

[-] BioWarfarePosadist@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

If you're worried about male pattern hair lose, but don't care about having a libido: Prescription Finnesteride. It a testosterone blocker specifically for the one that causes male pattern baldness. I was hitting stage two, and a long with the HRT I'm taking, I am seeing a lot of clawback on spots I thought would be bald forever.

I only pay like $15 for three months through GoodRX.

[-] HonkTonkWoman@lemm.ee 4 points 4 months ago

HRT is magic for hair loss.

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[-] kurcatovium@lemm.ee 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Getting older I can only say: looks are overrated. During my time I used to have all kinds of hair styles: metalhead with long hair, medium length, short hair, almost no hair, and right now I have like half a centimeter, because it's so hot weather and I sweat a lot and felt uncomfortable. Last time I cared about "how do girls look at my hair" was probably in my teens but even then I went against the stream, because metalhead long hair was far from being desirable.

IMO you should focus less on how do other perceive you (your look) and more on how you feel yourself. Having less (no) hair has so many benefits I can't even think of going back to anything longer than ~inch. Sure I might look dumb, but that feeling of air breeze on my skull is so refreshing I couldn't care less. Another benefit is much easier care. When I had long hair it felt like a chore to use shampoo, conditioner and brush the hair while it felt almost instantly "in need" of the procedure again. Now? Tsssch, I use whatever: shampoo, regular soap or just water, fast rinse and hair are almost immediately fresh feeling and also dry (huge plus imo).

And the most important note. If you ever find/found a partner who is/was with you just because your fabulous hair, I can assure you it is/was not the right one.

[-] olafurp@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Half of looking good is how good you feel about yourself. Your issue might not be the lack of hair, but the lack of self esteem. I'm sure that once you get adjusted to it the looks will come back.

[-] crystenn@lemmy.ml 7 points 4 months ago

figure out how far up before you stop washing your face

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 7 points 4 months ago

Draw a smiley face on the top of your head in sharpie.

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[-] malean@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Are you Samson? What kind of magic hair did you have?

Althrough I think a good cut is good for a good first impression. It's not a big deal, they will eventually grow back. You can cure other aspect of your style.

I voluntary shave myself in the summer, and I know very well that I am more handsome with long hair. But I don't care and so do others.

There are some good aspects of a bald head eg. Time efficency when I shower and feeling fresh during the day.

[-] orcrist@lemm.ee 7 points 4 months ago

I don't think "bald" is the right expression. You have a shaved head, which is different, right?

Also, shaved heads can go with most kinds of fashion. Your hair is always perfect, no matter the wind or rain.

Finally, if you got self esteem only because of compliments on your hair, now is the perfect time in life to find other ways to love yourself. Deeper ways. :-)

[-] aramis87@fedia.io 6 points 4 months ago

So it's been less than 24 hours? Ffs, give yourself time to adjust! Come back in a couple weeks and ask again.

[-] tiredofsametab@kbin.run 6 points 4 months ago

well, for one, sunscreen! Sunburnt heads suck. Hats as well.

It took some getting used to (I've gone through phases of shaving my head and having long hair. Recently, since I work outside in the heat, I hit it with the clippers every few days leaving just < 1mm. You'll probably just get used to your new style which will help the confidence which helps everything else.

[-] Seasm0ke@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

Man I have fun with hats but I feel you. Sometimes I'm like bro if I wore my glasses I'd look like the fkn soyjack. But you know what, I couldnt wear hats when I was serving at a bar. I still got a lot of attention. I met my now wife at a sales job where I couldnt wear hats. I bic it down to nothing and people want to rub it cause its shiny and smooth.

I miss my hair, it was shoulder length in highschool. I dyed it often, I styled it like flock of seagulls or edrward scissor hands for fun, I wore a Mohawk for a while. It was great while it lasted and its okay to mourn it, Even if it was only superficial. Its natural to feel like your self image was rocked. You're still you and you're still valid.

People may tease you and you gotta roll with it. When a kid says your bald ask him if he knows where your forehead ends. Whatever the answer correct them and say no its the back of my neck or whatever. It takes me a long time to get ready for bed because I dont know where to stop washing my face. Well if its good enough for that eagle its good enough for me. If you cant find peace you can sure find a hair piece... or save to go get expensive surgical solutions.

Hope you feel better though dude

[-] illi@lemm.ee 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I understand your feelings, as living with great hair and liking it and going to bald must suck. Take comfort in fact that it is temporary.

But as a bald man - being comoletely bald is fucking amazing. I can't compare with having good hair - had short haircut all my childhood, decided to grow it longer in my mid teens (wanted to be a bit morr stylish) - and that's about the time I started loosing my hair. So had to go to shorter lenghts so it's not that obvious and went full bald around 17 when I had a visible bald patch anyway. So can't compare but it was the best decision I made - both at the time and for the future. I shave once a week and everything is easy. And I was blessed with a great skull shape so looks good.

Much more salty about me not being able to grow decent facial hair though. That beard and bald look would be sick but oh well. We have to play with cards we were dealt.

[-] McLoud@lemm.ee 5 points 4 months ago

I started to go bald at the age of 20, and it was a major kick in the nuts at first. After I finally accepted my fate, i now use a disposable razor in the shower almost every morning, and keep my remaining hair at almost zero length. Some girls dig a bald head, and some girls think its a turnoff. But i have come to enjoy it. It is very low maintenance and it feels great in the summer. More aerodynamic as well lol

[-] jerry@fedia.io 5 points 4 months ago

I started shaving my head when my hair started thinning in my early 30’s. That was 25 years ago. I used to love my hair, but now I would not go back to having hair if I had the option. It took a few weeks to get used to for me.

[-] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 5 points 4 months ago

It's the same thing as with a hat: if you're uncomfortable it'll show. Comfort is the only difference between "hat people" and everyone else.

Long hair, short hair, no hair; if you feel good people can tell, and you'll ascribe those feelings to how you look.

I'm the opposite, the longer my hair gets the dirtier I feel, until I finally crop it short, or if I'm really wanting that "clean fresh start" feeling, shave it off entirely.

Anyway, lucky for you, you don't have to get used to it! Just wait it out and you'll be back to your old self before you know it.

Good post!

[-] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

Due to unusually high tempetures I started having problems with the skin on my head. So, to avoid problems. I shaved it clean and it will remain that way until the skin in treated.

I would bet that this isn't the last time that you get unusually hot temperatures. Between this problem possibly returning and male pattern baldness, you'll probably face another time when you're cutting your hair short.

That being said, adapt! Experiment with different facial hair styles, find a cool new hat (but be normal - don't get something awful like a fedora) or sunglasses. Just because your hair has temporarily changed, it doesn't mean that you're a different person

[-] unknowing8343@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 4 months ago

If you were getting bald (which you might not) you'd have 2 options:

  • hair transplant (if needed) and medication for the rest of your life.
  • shave/trim and move on

I'm generally for team 2. I'd hate medicating (which from internet opinion has various long-lasting unwanted side effects) for the rest of my life for such stupid thing.

I must confess, I have the benefit that I don't look that bad. Also, being fit becomes much more required when bald, 😅, you have to compensate your older look; and side effects from exercise are virtually all positive. So I'll take it.

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this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
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