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submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by weirdbeardgame@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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[-] lvxferre@mander.xyz 63 points 3 weeks ago

I'm going to be a lich.

I get the keep my mind and memories, so I'm not some dumb zombie going babbling "brrrrlll" here and there, seeking brains. I'm fairly powerful so I can pull out my own weight, enough to become the necromancer's right arm. And if it comes to the worst I can always backstab the necromancer and become the boss, as typically lichs have their own necromancy.

[-] Zonetrooper@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago

Objectively the best answer. Plus, as long as you hide your phylactery well, there's not much the necromancer can do to keep you in line.

[-] lvxferre@mander.xyz 14 points 3 weeks ago

I'd expect my phylactery to be with the necromancer at the start, for exactly this reason. So I think that a lot of my job in my first days [years?] as an undead is to get their trust so I can: replace my phylactery with a copy, hide the original, and proclaim my independence.

[-] DScratch@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 weeks ago

You know you have to feed a soul to your phylactery like every few days. Who’s gonna get got?

[-] holgersson@lemm.ee 6 points 3 weeks ago

Do souls have sizes, like "you need at least the soul of a medium sized dog or pig"?

Because if every soul is worth equally much, just set an anthill on fire and be done for the foreseeable future.

Of course, as your next course of action, you should make up for the damage done to your local eco system, but that should be doable within the powers and lifespan of a lich.

[-] JackFrostNCola@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

This EcoLich build definitely sounds like the way to go.

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[-] thelsim@sh.itjust.works 51 points 3 weeks ago

A vampire. Since it’s a necromancer raising me, instead of another vampire, I won’t be enthralled and will have free will.
Then there’s all the wonderful abilities and the fact that I’ll still look good for an undead (it’s a pretty movie vampire, not one of those creepy ones)

[-] OceanSoap@lemmy.ml 8 points 3 weeks ago
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[-] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 37 points 3 weeks ago

Wasn't that how Mitch McConnell was born?

[-] radix@lemmy.world 23 points 3 weeks ago

He's more of a turtle golem.

[-] Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 weeks ago

He's a master of disguise

[-] Caligvla@lemmy.dbzer0.com 37 points 3 weeks ago
[-] ripcord@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

That appears to send shivers down my spine.

[-] Caligvla@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 weeks ago
[-] ripcord@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

That has made me shake and shudder in surprise.

[-] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org 29 points 3 weeks ago

Whatever type Jesus was. Folks seem to like that kind of undead.

[-] davidgro@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Undead Deity is in fact a great answer to the question.

[-] Canopyflyer@lemmy.world 27 points 3 weeks ago
[-] Nibodhika@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

Agrajag, is that you?

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[-] emax_gomax@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

So any animal is fair game? In which case, dodo. You MFs ate us into oblivion, I'm gonna come back with species worth of pent up rage and an undead thirst for blood.

Edit: in retrospect I now realise a dodo would be super easy to send back to the underworld :-(. I'm gonna be... checks deadliest thing notes, a car.

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[-] savvywolf@pawb.social 16 points 3 weeks ago

I know it's probably too on brand, but maybe some kind of monstrous wolf hell beast thing. Maybe with a skull as a head and dripping flesh.

If I'm going to be a mindless killing machine, may as well have some fun with it. Better than being a slow shambling skeleton or zombie at any rate.

[-] spittingimage@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago
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[-] Brkdncr@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago
[-] grillgamesh0028@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

"oh no, not again"

[-] Roflmasterbigpimp@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago

Lich would be fun

[-] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 12 points 3 weeks ago

Lich. The power that other famous examples like Darth Cheney and Henry Kissinger had is just too tempting.

[-] BattleGrown@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago

I'll be that guy, and say abomination. The more twisted the better. Like a mouth in my belly, extra arm on my back kind of twisted. I'll learn to enjoy striking terror in my victims' hearts. Afterlife will be dope.

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 11 points 3 weeks ago

Ghostflame Dragon.

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 3 weeks ago

Jesus, for sure. Not that he came back.

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[-] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 3 weeks ago

Something non-sentient please, I was enjoying nonexistence

[-] zxqwas@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

If you disregard supernatural powers of undead, it's different depending on who you ask anyway, I'd go with a skeleton.

[-] spittingimage@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

I'm pretty lazy, so... spectre. Having no body to haul around will make things easier.

[-] ArtVandelay@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

If I'm an undead undead, do I get to live?

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[-] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 weeks ago
[-] Eiri@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Ghost. Flying, intangibility, spooky telekinesis ... Sounds great.

[-] weirdbeardgame@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

I'd come back as a wraith, preferably shadow of mordor / war style with domination powers.

Otherwise, a lich assuming I could have lich magic and evolve

[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Wraith, so that I can go through walls, carry a big-ass scythe, and upgrade from generating Fear to generating Terror, so I can exploit that juicy morale penalty even if the enemy unit is immune to Fear.

[-] mozz@mbin.grits.dev 6 points 3 weeks ago

The painkiller thing where you can tear off your head and throw it at someone and then still control it well enough to bite them

[-] tal@lemmy.today 4 points 3 weeks ago

I don't remember that being in the original Painkiller, though maybe it's just been too long, but are you maybe thinking of a dullahan?

The Dullahan (Irish: Dubhlachan; dúlachán, /ˈduːləˌhɑːn/) is a type of legendary creature in Irish folklore. He is depicted as a headless rider on a black horse, or as a coachman, who carries his own head.

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[-] Vanth@reddthat.com 6 points 3 weeks ago

A capybara in a remote location that won't see human development within my new lifetime. Just chillin' with my interspecies homies.

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[-] Banichan@dormi.zone 5 points 3 weeks ago

What is this? Some kind of druid / necromancer dual class?

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[-] HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone 5 points 3 weeks ago

Darksign'd undead. Sure I'll hollow out eventually, but for now lets do some jolly co-operation.

[-] jpreston2005@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

I'd go as more-or-less human ala the movie Warm Bodies. Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I can't have a nice romantic fling!

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this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
111 points (93.0% liked)

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