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submitted 1 month ago by UlyssesT@hexbear.net to c/movies@hexbear.net

The Mandalorian did this with an AT-ST walker before (and also a TIE Fighter), but it's nice to see this sort of thing again.

By the Force, Abrams is such a fucking hack.

Not every threat should be both over the top and background trivial just because Glup Shitto has a Midi-Chlorian count of over 9000. live-slug-reaction

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[-] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 26 points 1 month ago

Fuck redditors, holy shit, what a bunch of nazis

[-] sneak100@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago

I'm having fun imagining this, but coming from an old timey roman soldier talking about Rome.

otherwise wtf

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago

objectivity

That word has lost all its original meaning and just means the feelings of Randroids and other chuds. jagoff

[-] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

reddit-logo ers when someone critiques their mass murdering global empire: i-am-adolf-hitler

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

What's that line about how the US constitution is hypocritical because something something preaching about freedom while holding a whip over the afrighted slave?

[-] Thallo@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

That was 200 years ago, sweaty

[-] Kanda@reddthat.com 3 points 1 month ago

You're sweaty

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago

it's always a Death Star

There are so many terrifying things about the Star Wars universe

Assassin droids, space vampires, super-powered clones, incurable plagues, Wolfmans, and green rabbit guys

But it's always a Death Star!

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

They couldn't even do something doomsdayish in a different way, like the Star Forge.

Then again that might make the Revan glazers die of dehydration from jagoff ... OR if Based Ego-Insert Morally Grey Revan didn't show up at all, they might burn down a few studio employees houses.

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago
[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago
[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

ACTUALLY there was a star wars for kid's book about a small living planet that tried to eat these space kids that somehow got on it, waaaay more interesting than the pew pew star.

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

Yeah, those Galaxy of Fear books were pretty cool

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

UGH. The Old Republic MMORPG had these nauseatingly persistent rakghoul events early on where everyone wanted to barf on you and you had to pay game currency to prevent becoming a barfing rakghoul yourself. The zombie fad just. Wouldn't. Die. Just like in the zombie treats. rust-darkness

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

The zombie fad just. Wouldn't. Die. Just like in the zombie treats.

Sucks because I have a soft spot for zombies, well had, now that it's been beaten to death.

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

One of my main critiques about the OT, and almost all subsequent media. You can't do anything bigger than a Death Star. Narratively blowing up a planet in one shot is the biggest bad thing that can happen that's still on a scale people can make sense of. So many Star Wars products have focused on a Big Dumb Object.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

You can't do anything bigger than a Death Star.

Abrams: "oh yeah what if the Death Star... but bigger?" cringe

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

Oh yeah that was a thing in the one Star War movie, Palpy summons like a billion star destroyers because he like owns or something lol

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago

Secretly built a fleet of Star Destroyers that can also blow up planets like Death Stars because WHAT ELSE CAN THEY THINK OF?

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

I have yet to see that one, my interest in the war in our stars kind of died out after the D I S C O U R S E (read:G*mer malding) over TLJ

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago

I hate Star Wars so much, but that's just because I had all these amazing ideas for what they could do with the setting and it's just the same damn thing every time

God, for being "kid's movies" it's like they never sat down with a kid and actually got some good ideas for it

I know kid me would have been so disappointed to see the ending of TLJ and been like "I could be a hero too?, and then having the rug pulled out from under me with ROS

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

Lucas dismissing them as "kid's movies" always came off as deepling disingenuous. My dude you made a movie about the Weimar Republic falling to fascism where half the scenes are people talking to each other in a giant legislature hall. I know you're a dork but you 100% do not believe it's "Just a kids movie".

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

I think he said that as a "just kidding, unless..." dodge of the dodgier parts of his writing.

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

You can tell that Phantom Menace is a movie for babies because it has a cartoon rabbit, race cars, and the implication that electoralism ever worked.

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

From what I gather Disney got pretty scared after TLJ so they nuked it by bringing back Abrams and demanded he make something to make the G*mers happy...but he lost his sauce too and made a big ol' stinky.

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

Pretty much

Especially with how you would be going into the movie and get caught completely off guard with the return of Emperor Palpatine

Unless you'd been playing Fortnite a week before the movie came out and saw the in-game announcement that Emperor Palpatine was back and in charge of The First Order

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

Unless you'd been playing Fortnite a week before the movie came out and saw the in-game announcement that Emperor Palpatine was back and in charge of The First Order

Could you just shoot him? Sick of his bullshit.

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

Nope, they had the Star Destroyer fleet project a giant TV screen where ol' Sheev yelled at everyone

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

Fucking Palpy is so annoying I STG, go get some more work done at the EmpSuRecon center you old fuck https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Emperor_Palpatine_Surgical_Reconstruction_Center

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Palpatine performing Sith alchemy and dark side rituals within the center

So that's how, somehow, Palpatine returned. soypoint-1 unlimited-power soypoint-2

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

but he lost his sauce

He had sauce to begin with? VII was an exhausting retread that was too busy hating the prequels and destroying everything the original trilogy built up to for a boring reset to the status quo.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

"I could be a hero too?

Only if you're born special, like in the Harry Potter treats. my-hairdo

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

Anything good that could have happened in TLJ that wasn't reversed by the end of TLJ was then fully reversed in ROS. Yes, everything. Even the "Rey was a nobody and the Force just needed a champion and she was there" thing.

[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

They have these giant hanging space-dicks and space-ballsacks beneath them, which are the weak points too. morshupls

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

If your starship doesn't have truck nuts, what is even the point? picard-annoyed

[-] Ericthescruffy@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

Honest to god that movie really made me reevaluate a lot of my opinions and criticisms of star wars world building up to that point. It's not exactly a hot take that star wars is kinda fudgy on physics and that "the empire" and "the rebels" were kind of vaguely defined in the OT to sort of let you fill in the gaps and project what you wanted but I never really questioned the basic physical possibility of how these groups could physically exist in their world based on the information we had.

How the fuck did Palpatine build the death star destroyer fleet??? Where did he find people to man it??? Even if AOTC for all you may criticize didn't just go "lol clone machine go wrrrrrrr!!! Armies appear and go boom boom!"

[-] Wakmrow@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

They never should have introduced droid/clone armies. Really ruined the drama and suspense of any battle. The Hoth battle is a desperate delaying action so people can escape but like when you can just clone up a whole army who cares if you lose a battle.

[-] Ericthescruffy@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Eh..I disagree. If anything I feel like it just adds to the scrappiness/underdog status of the rebels. Every man and woman in the rebel alliance ( a few exceptions not withstanding) is a person who was convinced to join the cause. How can they compete with such a dominating totalizing force that can just grow more ground troops in a tank?

...where there's a will and the force is on your side...there's a way!

Edit: also if you want to get technical at that point it isnt just clone troops but I put that aside cause obviously that's extended universe nitty gritty that's secondary canon anyway.

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

I'm sure it was all explained very well in Fortnite.

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago
[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

One ninja is a threat.

A thousand ninjas is a statistic.

maduro-katana-1maduro-katana-2

[-] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

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this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2024
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