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The Button (mander.xyz)
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[-] GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 89 points 1 month ago

I dunno if it is intentional, but there's a an additional layer of humor in this for me:

Where I live, there's a company called Labcorp and they are basically the de facto company for pre-employment and random drug testing. I'm sure they do more than just drug tests, but drug testing is about all non-medical folks know of the place.

[-] FinalRemix@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

Yup Yup LabCorp crew represent! They steal a lot of my blood on behalf of my doctors.

[-] mkwt@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

I went to labcorp for a while when I needed monthly blood draws for my doctor.

[-] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

I have to get blood drawn every 3 months, and can go to either labcorp or the doctors office.

Which is technically also labcorp, or at least it's somewhat affiliated with them. I think it's the only blood game in town!

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Quest Diagnostics.

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 36 points 1 month ago

Any of these cocaine button studies planning on moving to human trials soon? Asking for a friend.

[-] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

None of the ones I know about. IRB is never going to approve that. Impersonate a ~~masque~~ macaque and you might have a shot.

Edit: Fixed my autocorrect.

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Impersonate a masque

Macaque?

[-] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Yes, autocorrect got me. Fuckin' hell.

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 35 points 1 month ago

I used to hang with some behavioral psychology grad students (the type that follow the practices of B.F. Skinner and operant conditioning) who were researching the effects of various drugs on pigeons. We were drinking in their lab one time and there were about thirty white pitchers sitting on a table; eventually I noticed that they all had little white, twitching tails sticking out of them - each one contained a pigeon face-down waiting to be put into the testing chamber. I asked them how they managed to get the pigeons into the pitchers and keep them there and they just laughed. They took me into the cage room and showed me how they just opened the cage door and held up a pitcher and the bird would fly like a rocket straight into it. Sometimes they went in so hard they would knock themselves unconscious.

There are some obvious ethical issues with animal experimentation, but as a certified druggie myself their lives didn't seem all that bad.

[-] drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

They should use seagulls instead of pigeons, fuck seagulls.

[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

seagulls are spirits of mischief and chaos, i'm pretty sure they'd intentionally fuck with the data

[-] reinei@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Only if it meant more cocaine because it needs to be redone...

[-] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 21 points 1 month ago

So, they finally escaped. World domination is imminent!

[-] OlinOfTheHillPeople@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

I think so Brain, but if you replace the 'P' with an 'O', my name would be Oinky, wouldn't it?

[-] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 6 points 1 month ago

I think so, Brain, but burlap does chafe me so!

[-] m4xie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 month ago

And one more time after that.

And one more time after that...

[-] YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago
[-] friendly_ghost@beehaw.org 1 points 1 month ago

SID

WHAT ABOUT THE FAREWELL DRUGS

this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
1062 points (99.3% liked)

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