Man Wishes He Was Dumb Enough to Be Happy All the Time : theonion

[-] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 90 points 10 months ago

This is truth, not satire.

[-] Speculater@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

And yet the jester is usually the wisest in the court.

[-] idunnololz@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

And also incredibly depressed

[-] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 4 points 10 months ago

Wisecracking isn't the same as being happy

[+] ugo@feddit.it 83 points 10 months ago

[deleted]

[-] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 38 points 10 months ago

She was smart enough to not let the things she doesn't understand drag her down. In reality, there's not one single intelligence.

[-] BruceTwarzen@lemm.ee 7 points 10 months ago

I used to hang out with a different kind of dumb person. He would watch a movie he didn't understand but thought he did. Once i "flirted" for him with his ex girlfriend over text, because he wanted her back, but most of the time had no idea what she was talking about. She said she saw him today and he had a new haircut. I texted back: yeah they grew over my head (it's a saying in german that means something is getting too much, but it also is a hair pun.) she laughed and i gave his phone back. He read it and didn't understand it. Even if I explained it to him, he just didn't understand what might be funny. So he texted her back: he also shaved his pubes. God bless his soul.

[-] Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

So he texted her back: he also shaved his pubes.

LMAO, I thought that was funny.
I guess this means I am also a dumb one.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

Making a clever joke, and then following it up with a completely juvenile joke or dumb observation is also a valid strategy. Shows you can be smart but not aloof.

[-] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 16 points 10 months ago

Every friend group needs a golden retriever

[-] RustyShackleford@literature.cafe 44 points 10 months ago

Felt this since I was a child.

[-] mynamesnotrick@lemmy.zip 42 points 10 months ago

Smart enough to realize everything is shit is a real debilitating condition and honestly, one doesn't haven't to be very smart to realize that.

[-] dumbass@leminal.space 28 points 10 months ago

I don't remember being interviewed.

[-] jwt@programming.dev 12 points 10 months ago

That's because you're a dumbass. Happy now?

[-] dumbass@leminal.space 10 points 10 months ago

You know what? Yes, yes I am!

[-] Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org 27 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Man Wishes He Was Dumb Enough to Be Happy All the Time

The prescription is 'tussin + alcohol, like in that one episode of House M.D.

[-] DaCrazyJamez@sh.itjust.works 12 points 10 months ago

This is sadly very true.... and also doxylamine, trazodone, melatonin, etc...

[-] BallsandBayonets@lemmings.world 26 points 10 months ago

I often also feel this way, although I also look at a lot of voting-aged people in the US and realize that being that dumb usually just means you are angry all the time.

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago

I don't recall giving consent to writing a story about my life.....

[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago

It's me. I'm the man.

[-] babybus@sh.itjust.works 6 points 10 months ago

We are all you on this not so blessed day.

[-] CluckN@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Have you tried watching Rick and Morty?

[-] Iloveyurianime@ani.social 1 points 10 months ago

Have you tried idolizing osaka from azumanga daioh?

[-] AtomicHotSauce@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago

This hit me at my core.

[-] Draegur@lemm.ee 12 points 10 months ago

and that's how folks transition into puppygirls.

[-] Sierra_Is_Bee@beehaw.org 3 points 10 months ago

Oh good, I was hoping to find a transition comment here as I felt the same way for a long time 😅

[-] Draegur@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

And I want to make it clear I'm not even complaining OR criticizing! XD

It's wholesome in a peculiar way: people who want to embrace simple joy, and to love others with the same unbridled enthusiasm as dogs do? That's beautiful and sweet deep down at the heart of it.

Even though I KNOW that for many it's a "sex thing"... Honestly so what. Anyone who doesn't like it can choose to do literally anything else with their time.

I've stopped caring about pointless judgement, moralizing pearl clutching hand wringing self-righteous hysterical theatrics... What a waste of time and energy when instead happiness is actually an option.

Maybe it's jealousy. How dare someone be happy, right? Whatever! Let them be goodgirls. There are few things more harmless than that.

I don't think I could ever play the role of an "owner" (apparently that's a thing) but I'm happy when I see them, in the same way I'm happy when I see dogs. Because I see dogs.

[-] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 10 months ago

I mean, for most of petplay people I know it's much more of an everyday thing than a sex thing. Which makes sense, since that's generally more of a furry thing. It's less about being an animal and more about being someone's pet, very gentle sub and dom stuff. There's a good tumblr post

petplay? oh you mean that kink for burnt-out neurodivergent people with abandonment issues who need simple easy directions and assurance that the person giving them will still be there at the end of the night. yeah i got you i know what you're talking about

And like, mood.

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[+] smokebuddy@lemmy.today 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

[deleted]

[-] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

Like Adam Sandler, Vin Diesel can act but chooses a lot of projects that do the opposite of showcasing that skill.

[-] Chuymatt@beehaw.org 4 points 10 months ago

I would say that he’s a better actor than The Rock, but he’s not winning any acting awards anytime soon.

[-] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 8 points 10 months ago

Too smart to be happy too dumb to be successful.

[-] Obi@sopuli.xyz 9 points 10 months ago

Dunno about that, plenty of dumb successful people out there, this world ain't a fair one.

[-] Tixanou@lemm.ee 8 points 10 months ago

He just like me fr

[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

Some days it feels like it would be easier to take a ball peen hammer to my prefrontal cortex than deal with the rest of my species.

[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

It's me. I'm the man who wishes he was dumb enough to be happy all the time.

[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

fr

[-] flashgnash@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Is the intelligent thing not to be to recognise when things are out of your control and put them out of your mind

[-] orbitz@lemmy.ca 5 points 10 months ago

Depends on the reaching of the action, even if the event was out of their control but going to impact them, say an invasion or war breaking out at their location it'd be warranted. However in a general sense I agree, it causes undue stress if there's nothing directly they can change.

People thinking like that is how we get some people fighting for rights, the current fight may not directly impact them but they can see how it'll impact things in the near future when more rights are changed. I mostly agree with not adding undue stress but sometimes it can be difficult to know when it's undue or warranted because it can happen quickly once the ball starts rolling.

[-] flashgnash@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

Putting things out of your mind doesn't mean you can't take action though

If the only reasonable thing I can do to make a change to a situation is to cast a vote there's no point worrying about it until I actually have the opportunity to do that

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[-] Rhoeri@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

I feel seen!

[+] josephsh5@lemm.ee 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

[deleted]

[-] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 months ago

I'm too dumb to be happy!

[-] blazeknave@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

*any of the time ftfy

[-] redisdead@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Idk, republicans don't really seem to be a happy bunch.

[-] lohky@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

"Better to be an animal than a man, an insect than an animal, a plant than an insect, and so on.

Salvation? Whatever diminishes the kingdom of consciousness and compromises its supremacy."

Yup.

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