It's infuriating. I casually mentioned in a conversation that Windows 7 was the best Windows had ever been, and I kicked myself immediately because I was talking to a coder and they cannot resist turning every mention of Windows into a long-winded rant on the virtues of linux, and how dare I like the easy thing that just worked for normies.

It's the same rant they give you if you don't stan Vim. I hate it so much.

Anyway, last time someone did this to me, I flew off the handle and got personal with my insults

oh jfc, relate to this so much

like, I thought you wanted to talk about "how the fuck could they possibly do that," not that I would ever possibly do that and am trying to justify it

isn't this the conversation you started mf'er, why are we here rn 😖

I don't know if I've experienced the same exact thing you're talking about, but I've definitely brought up something in a light-hearted way, like "isn't this funny" or "can you believe this thing" and had people respond with "no it's not funny, I take this very seriously." So maybe that's just me being bad at reading the room. For example, the other day I learned that in some states you don't need a teaching license or college degree to teach at a private school, and brought that up to my coworker. He got kinda defensive because apparently his wife used to teach at a private religious school, and didn't have a teaching license.

One thing I've noticed while talking with liberals especially is that they'll say "I just can't understand what [conservatives, Putin, Hamas, whoever they don't like] are thinking" and expect me to agree with them that that person is ontologically evil and can't be understood by normal good people. But then I start bringing nuance and history into the picture, like "well if you remember what happened with NATO in the '90s..." which is not what they wanted to hear, and they think I'm agreeing with the person they hate.

I also sometimes don't notice that the conversation has moved on, and tend to bring up something that everyone else had finished talking about 10 minutes ago, but it had been percolating in my brain since then.

Not neurodivergent but I've been in these conversations that go on seemingly forever about topics I really don't care about which end up going on way too long. Longest I had to endure was one that went on for a literal hour before I was like "ops, it's dinner time, got to go", and at the time me and a friend (who was present for this) had been planning to hang out, but I was done for the night and just called it.

In this case I think the problem is less you being able to read social cues and more the other persons issue. I usually am able to defuse it with a couple of "that's crazy" or "never thought of it like that" so they shut up about it if they get too into it. It is also how I get through most conversations with coworkers who are deep down a conspiracy hole.

Examples of topics this has become a "deal" for while not mattering at all: Sex club hygiene, web browsers, cars, ski brands, rub on tattoos, cellphones, weed, shrooms, acid, synth music, metal music and sewing.

"Wow you make a lot of interesting points, I'll have to think about that" is my go-to escape hatch.

Repeatedly demurring to respond, because anything else they say is just too confusing, is another approach.

My mom loves to swerve the conversation in a completely different direction, to try and deflect the conversation to another subject. I just remember her opening on "Why aren't you voting for Biden?", getting a response she didn't like, probing a bit further, balking, and then producing a book of baby pictures I swear to God from thin air to talk about how cute I was when I was younger. I think the transition was "The 1980s? I remember when you were just a little boy back then!" and then insisting we talk about a road trip from when I was 4.

Love how relatable this is to so many people here. I just say ‘sure’ and try to move on because I don’t care but sometimes people really can’t let it go for some reason.

I know this feel but also get away with it I've got kinda lovable jerk appeal in sort of a bender from Futurama sense so I usually have the social expectation of being someone who would just say “I literally have zero real attachment to this idea and I brought it up for the sake of conversation”. I guess advice wise I'd say just be consistent with statements like that and you'll hopefully just be seen as someone who I'd a real straight shooter. Sometimes it's just about how you carry a statement and being assertive and unapologetic about your own self expression can lead to acceptance. I'm at a point where I've been openly called 'really fucking charming and like...I'm curmudeonly as hell and mostly communicate via acerbic witticisms and very direct statements, make it the thing you do and people respect the hell out of it.

keep saying “I literally have zero real attachment to this idea and I brought it up for the sake of conversation” and they scold me for deigning to bring the other idea up and we will not stop talking about this

The other person is failing to pick up on an obvious social cue here.

When social situations suck or are awkward, sometimes it's your fault, sometimes it's their fault, sometimes it's the combination of the two of you, sometimes it's the situation, and sometimes it's the inevitable awkwardness of human interaction. If you always pin it on yourself then that's an unhealthy level of self-blaming.

I’m so genuinely actually sorry for attempting to help you by wantonly-suggesting alternative perspectives to cover what I perceive to be unnoticed angles in what you are saying hoping that maybe it could be rolled into a consensus point that might be helpful, I didn’t think this was a venting/rhetorical discussion, If it was I missed those cues,

Uhg this is so many conversations I've had with people its maddening. It's a trap I fall for all the time. Except I almost always walk a way with a "Well fuck me for trying to help." Feeling.

Mr Evrart is helping me find my gun.