Ask them to explain the “joke” then once they finish say I didn’t find the joke funny.
I do this, but then I pick it apart to make it really painful.
"Oh, jokes just normally have a punchline and aren't just stating something really backwards"
They can't ever explain the joke, though.
That's half the fun. Watching them squirm and try to figure out how to explain the joke without saying the -ism out loud when they realize they're not in "safe" company.
friend says fucked up shit, asks if you agree
"What? No. Shit no! I believe you get your ass kicked for saying shit like that."
Nah. Don't wait for them to ask. Tell them they are being an asshat. It's good for them
Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays
Slight lean back
Expression of baffled disgust
Quietly: "The fuck?"
Cuts deep
If you're especially non-confrontational, then even the first one, or 0 reaction, can do. Just don't do the polite chuckle. They'll think it landed.
I have to work really hard not to laugh myself, and instead let it be awkward.
"Bro, not cool." With a stern look always sets the homies straight.
You don't need to be cisgender, heterosexual, male or white to call people out on their bigoted beliefs.
Edit: if you are in those categories you're more likely to be taken more seriously by other cishet white men. I think I understand the point of the original post now.
No, but bigoted, cisgendered, heterosexual white men are probably more likely to listen to other cisgendered heterosexual white men due to their bigotry.
Someone disagreeing within Chad Junior's very narrow social circle will mean more to him than someone outside of the circle, especially if that person is also unlike Chad Junior in several ways. Unfortunate as it is.
In my experience that is almost never the case. They'll just call you a liberal soyboy or something and never think on it further.
Definitely. It's just an amplifier. Imagine a protestor saying "too many cops are violent and need to cool it", as opposed to a cop saying "too many cops are violent and need to cool it"
Honestly I haven’t had to say something in almost a decade
You're hanging out with the right people
It's all about where you live and what you look like.
I'm a huge white dude in a red state, I've been getting hit on by nazis since before I was a teenager because I look like their "ideal".
Like, when they picture their "master race" it's what I look like, so they always fucking assume I'll agree with any side comment they make.
If you're not in a super blue area, you're not hearing stuff because something identifies you as "them" and not "us". But even in blue areas I'll hear shit.
I’m a white American immigrant in Germany. The shit people say to me about immigrants, which they then walk back with “but not you, you’re one of the good ones,” is infuriating.
"I won't let you talk to them that way" is a bad one that doesn't belong on this list. It implies you're in control of them, which you're not. It's essentially a bluff, and if they call it, you need to be able to beat them up.
To add more good phrases to this list, the phrases need to imply that the person still has their own agency (because they do), and that it's just a dipshit way to use that agency. The other phrases are great.
These comments, yeesh. I am a cis white dude, and I don't see how this post is offensive. As I've gotten older and more self-confident, I absolutely call people out for their garbage opinions/statements. Being a cis/straight/white dude it happens all the time that somebody says something racist/sexist/homophobic in front of me assuming I'll be sympathetic. I've used all these "scripts" and encourage you all to use them also.
"What the fuck" with a disgusted look is my go to.
So Mexican dudes can't say these things, eh? Only white dudes, and only if they're straight?
My 'hey, you're being a fuck stick' detector doesn't discriminate, despite what my stolen meme says
Pfff. Everytime my father in law goes on a racist diatribe I tell him, "Mustafa is what now?". He is my Egyptian brother in law and the kindest and hospitable person I know.
I also very dislike my father in law, used to be a somewhat good guy, then he got old and racist.
I told a coworker they were "full of shit" then repeated that when they said "what?"
The "do you hear yourself right now?" is a good one, gonna use it well
ITT: a lot of people reading this to be specifically and only for cis white men, but they’re talking about the power any in-group member has to shut down bigoted shit and that’s what we should be focusing on. In a space where the biggest in-group is black women this post would be about them, but the most common “in-group” (disproportionately so) is white cis men so that’s who they mention. If this is making you feel attacked or targeted then please set aside that part of it and don’t discard the actual message, because this is honestly something everyone should think about.
Anytime you’re accepted somewhere, whether in public or among strangers, you have a lot of social power when it comes to setting the tone of conversation - one loud idiot can make a space feel extremely hostile to an outsider, and if everybody gives a polite laugh instead of speaking up that idiot learns saying things like that is okay and the “outsider” learns they’re not truly welcome. Literally one person who speaks up instead of letting it fly can solve this - the message is to be that person, not to attack anyone in particular.
My go-to is "Why do you think that is an okay thing to say?"
That why calling out people for being weird worked
I'm going to use all of these except the "I won't let you" because that could trigger the right wing persecution complex, and/or sound like fighting words.
I want them to think normal people (not me tbh) are put off by their weird shit.
Even a simple "bruh" can help.
I play a lot of rocket league and the kids love homophobic slurs, I just call them pathetic.
There's one thing I really don't understand. And this question has no agenda except that I would like to. Also if I use the word "he" inappropriately, please for the sake of the question let that slide...
Say a woman transitions to a man. He's a man now, right? So why is it necessary that he be called trans and someone who was born a man be called cis? I mean if the goal is equality, and it should be, why should we know or care which is the case? And the same question goes for cis/trans women.
most of the times the difference between me and a cis man is not important, so i simply say i'm a man. Sometimes the difference is important, and then i clarify i'm a trans man
90% of the time and most people i meet will have no idea i'm transgender, the other 10 are doctors, people i want to have sex with, and those i've talked with about trans experiences
Using the cis/trans labels are good when the experiences are different in some important way or it's worth pointing out for some reason. Often it's just better to refer to both cis and trans men as just "men" and cis and trans women as just "women". It depends on the context. These online forums tend to be rather political or tied to identity in a way that a lot of more real life conversations won't be. The cis and trans labels can probably be left off more often in real life than you see them used here.
It's just useful terminology. It comes up when it comes up.
I don't spend much time calling my girl friends trans-her, if that's what you're asking.
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