My regime will make speech the freest it has ever been by just sending everyone to jail immediately. You will be able to voice any opinion at all, no limitations, because you are going to jail anyway, end of story. Want to call for my assassination and the ovethrow of my regime? Go ahead, you're going to jail. Politically checked out and have no strong opinion about my regime and its decisions? You're going to jail. Fanatical supporter of me and my regime put in charge of actually implementing this policy? Buddy, I will see you in jail.

Jail sentances will be lengthened if you speak out or fail to speak out while in jail. Speech is going to be SO FREE, unlike all of us who will be spending the rest of our lives in jail where we belong.

"free speech" is liberal idealism, because it doesn't matter what you say without a platform

Under my regime I'd literally give all the rights to my supporters and execute those who oppose me 🥶🥶🙏

How about a hexbear party line but it's an old timey telephone landline where everyone rants over top of one another.

I follow the party line by just not having bad takes, simple as

Damn, can we make taglines out of tweets