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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by FatTony@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

How about an adolescent kangaroo?

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[-] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 year ago

Probably a medium sized dog, if I’m being realistic. I can’t fight a fucking bear or box a kangaroo or wrestle an alligator

[-] darreninthenet@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago

You can it's just unlikely you'd win

[-] Curious_Canid@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

What's just a little smaller than a goose? I do know my limitations.

[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago
[-] Emperor@feddit.uk 2 points 1 year ago

As a man who has witnessed Duck Raping Season, best avoided.

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[-] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I would seriously consider some of the larger animals discussed here, if necessary, in self defense.

But not a goose. A goose comes at me, and I'm going to flee. Those suckers mean business.

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[-] Bonifratz@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago

No idea, a capybara maybe?

[-] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Bro those things are fucking huge

And they do fight, albeit rarely.

[-] thelsim@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago

Anything larger than a small insect already freaks me out, so I'm going to pass on this challenge :)

[-] cooopsspace@infosec.pub 4 points 1 year ago

A kangaroo would fking shred you. And while you're trying to hold your intestines in it'll then beat the snot out.

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[-] MooseBoys@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

By mass or dimensional extent? If the latter, Japanese Spider Crab (12ft wide). If the former, a large dairy cow (2400lbs).

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[-] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

How about an adolescent kangaroo?

I reckon a full grown kangaroo. Not that I think I'm stronger (or that it wouldn't fuck me up), but in a fight to the death I think I could outsmart it and outmaneouver it.

I do not think this is close to a 100% certainty though.

[-] Faceman2K23@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 1 year ago

gotta get behind him, one good kick to the abdomen and your intestines will be hanging out where they don't belong.

those fuckers are strong and their claws can be deadly.

[-] conciselyverbose@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Those fuckers can move.

[-] NataliePortland@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

Ya I think you could get behind it and maybe do a headlock. Maybe?

[-] Delphia@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

SWEEP THE LEG!

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[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

Do my hands have to stay bare?

Like, if there's a stick around, can I pick up the stick? If there are rocks around, can I throw some rocks?

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[-] Granixo@feddit.cl 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

A fat orange cat 🐈❤️

[-] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 2 points 1 year ago

Cat bites can have some dangerous bacteria at least, considering how much damage the more lazy of my cats can do if you try to force him to take a pill, I don't think I'd really want to fight one that actually was fighting for all it's worth

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[-] Nioxic@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 year ago

On land?

A seal or penguin

[-] OceanSoap@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

They're both pretty slippery though.

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[-] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 3 points 1 year ago

A really, really, really sick elephant, so far gone that it cannot move anyway

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[-] Sordid@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

Depends. Do I need to win or is a draw an acceptable outcome? If it's the latter, the blue whale. What's it gonna do, beach itself?

[-] Ejh3k@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I've thought about this kind of question for a long time. I reckon I can beat up about 85% of the world's population. I am a large man with quite a bit of experience fighting, none in a ring or a cage.

With that said, probably a fully grown dromedary.

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this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
84 points (96.7% liked)

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