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this post was submitted on 21 Jan 2024
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Hygiene, manners, fitness, generally not being a creep.
"fitness"
Highly exaggerated by the masculinist movement, I know many people who aren't in good shape and never were that have a relationship/family life that most would envy
It doesn't hurt to be fit. You'll likely look better and it helps with your confidence.
When did I say it hurts to be fit?
The vast majority of the population doesn't go to the gym and their exercise consists of doing random physical activities around the house, going on walks or having a physically demanding job but a bunch of people with low self esteem got convinced by the internet that they're hopeless if they don't go to the gym... Oh and here, buy their product and treat women like shit while you're at it because it all goes together! That's what self esteem feels like bitches!
"It doesn't hurt to" is an idiom meaning it can be beneficial. It doesn't mean you were arguing that it hurts to be fit. I'm saying it's not necessary to be fit but it might still be worthwhile.
Seems like you're looking at these people as a monolith. Most of us treat the gym like a horticulturist treats their garden, it's therapeutic while also being beneficial. Sure there's the guys that follow all of the social media "gurus" but you can usually tell who they are by their gear and what they spend most of their time talking about.
9/10 times the guys with the most experience and general level of fitness are the ones that just wear old cut offs and go home to go drink a protein shake. The ones railing pre workout and listening to Andrew Tate aren't there for the right reasons so they generally never get anywhere with it.
True.
False.
I think it definitely anecdotally helps with confidence, but went searching and seems like at least some studies corroborate this common view, at least for self-esteem
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5068479/
I've seen lots of people get obsessed over their "fit" looks, and sometimes them going to the gym is both caused and made worse by more obsession with fitness.
Personally, it helped my confidence a lot and made me happier in my body to hit the gym. Seeing progress in something where you have to have grit and dedication usually does help people boost their confidence though, like learning an instrument or a new language, especially in children. Nothing as rewarding as meeting one's own goals, if you ask me.
I definitely agree the attempt at directly correlating gym plans to dating is often mis-played. But, there's solid advice out there about using basic fitness and exercise to combat depression and mood problems. Even if lifting iron won't do a whole lot for you, occasionally going out for a walk or riding on a bike/kayak/etc will often improve your attitude. And yeah, in the end being less depressed is probably good for dating - just not good to form the direct expectation.
People who aren't in good shape attract other people who aren't in good shape. There is someone for everyone. Well not really, but those people are content with each other.
I wouldn’t phrase it like that. More like, your standards for your partner shouldn’t be higher than your standards for yourself.
Tomato, tom-ah-to
You keep telling yourself that while we stay more open Skipper
Not really true and you realize that you can just not do exercise without being 400lbs right? Even in the periods where I wasn't into exercising my weight was stable around ~145lbs at 5'8", I just looked like a regular guy and dated plenty of beautiful women during that time.
Have you ever met a lesbian
Huh? What does that have to do with anything we're discussing here?
Clearly the answer is no.
As a woman I would like to add that the Fitness part is not true. Of course if you want to ask out a gym girl she will care about fitness, but also if you want to ask a "fashion" girl out she will care about fashion and so on. Know your target before putting effort in the wrong thing. I'm the type that cares zero about fitness.
Hygiene, manners and not being a creep is default tho. Please do that.
I am a lady and do care about fitness, not so much for looks but as a sign guys take reasonable care of their health. When younger, didn't care much. But now I am older and guys who are inactive fall apart, and become a lot of work. I know that there's no guarantee of health but much better odds of more healthy years if a guy takes care of his physical body.
Younger generations also need appropriate internet socialization for the social medias. Need to not live under a rock but also not go off the deep end of Insta or 4chan, respectively.
The finer details of making friends on a discord server befuddles me.
Isn't a discord like a curated list of people who you at least share an interest with?