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What do people's pets tell you about them?
(lemmy.autism.place)
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this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
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If they don't like cats because you can't train a cat, and/or cats seemingly hate them, I consider it a warning sign they want people to obey them rather than exist with them.
Cats can't be trained like a dog. So when people complain about that and don't like them for that, I consider it a sign of "I want you to obey me, don't question it."
I also suspect they'll have issues respecting boundaries. Most people I know who're bad with cats are also bad at that.
One time I was dating this girl. She had 4 cats, and recently got a dog. She had ZERO self control with that dog. She straight up ignored the cats, let the dog do whatever it wanted, and could NOT understand why her cats didn't like the dog.
Well, it's all about body language. The dog was acting like it's never been given attention in its life. It would run full speed at the cats, and then dive at them full speed. The cats did not like that. But this girl just said "See??? These cats have become so hateful since I got the dog!"
Uhhhh, no. The cats just don't like an animal 2X their size and 15X their weight divebombing them. They see you treat the dog better than them, and so don't view you as their protector anymore.
Then she said "You won't be able to pet the cats. Don't worry, its not you, it's them."
I'd say within 20 minutes I was holding one in my arms, one on my lap, one napping at my legs, and the skittish 4th one was making progress towards me.
She was right that it's not me, but she was wrong about it being the cats fault. It was HER fault.
I never met any of her friends, but she said the cats never warmed up to ANY of her friends. This tells me her friends were just as self unaware of their body language as she was.
The cats warmed up to me because when I first got there, I didn't chase them down demanding I pet them. I stuck my hand out, allowed her to sniff my hand, and the cat said no. She didn't even want to sniff my hand. So I said "ok, thats cool too." And I just maintained body language that I was calm and not a threat, but if she wanted to come say hi, she could.
Thats all it is. Just making sure they know they can be comfortable around you. And the girl I was dating at the time didn't understand that.
I trained my 8 year old Shiba Inu to live with a kitten. Previously, this dog would chase, bark, and leer at any cat it saw. Now the cat, still at teenage cat size, can literally dive bomb off the top of the cat tower at the dog and he's just like "Neat!"
Starting the other direction should be infinitely easier! A puppy is almost genetically engineered to learn from you.
100%. I've had a lot of similar experiences with people telling me their cats are mean or they don't like strangers only for it to love me because I know how to respect it's body language. When I was younger I was dating a girl who still lived at home and her family had 2 dogs and 3 cats. The dogs and one of the cats were totally chill and friendly to everyone. The other cat was younger and was constantly bolting around the house trying to play fight with everything. The third cat didn't want to be involved in any of this so usually hung out in their parents bedroom unless she was eating. When I started coming over they told me she didn't like people. It took me like 3 visits to have her coming down to sit with me when I came over and it was just like you said. When she was going by let her sniff my hand and pet her if she allowed it. If not leave her alone. It's not that hard if you respect their boundaries.
They can be trained. https://youtu.be/Uu-hRtkaVLc shows a bunch of stuff in a few minutes. I wouldn't train mine because that sounds like a lot of work for something that is just fine without the training, but it is definitely possible.
You just spend time with them and show them what to do and what not to do. It's not that hard, as long as you pay attention to them.
Sorry about the double reply, but I watched that video and I can't agree with doing that kind of training with your cat. It's impressive, but it's also treating your cat like a circus clown, in my opinion.
I get your reason for sharing it. I just wanted to express that is not what regular people should try to be doing with their pets. Everyday activities and training with a cat is way way simpler than that clip.
Cats are an experiment in consent
Cats can be trained, to do very specific things. I can say that from experience.
It sounds like a cat trained you lol
I mean, he turns off my lights when I ask him. He uses specific buttons to communicate his needs. Not really "cat training you" when you talk to the cat using actual words that it replies with.
I did train our cat to come to a whistle.
Cats can be taught how to do stuff, and if there is the right bond, they'll do the action when you ask. I say that because I've known a lot of people with cats that could do "tricks" (e.g. a friend had a cat that would go fetch his backscratcher after work because the cat LOVED that scratcher and knew it meant something positive to the cat.).
By contrast I know a few people with crazy cats and its almost like you (as an outside observer) can see the tension and dislike for each other radiating from both the cat and person. Most of the people with crazy cats only really seem to feed them and clean up after them. The people with awesome cats always seem to do more with them (playing, cuddling, etc), they just seem to have a better relationship with each other.
My cats shake hands for treats. Theory shattered! /s
I don't particularly care for cats because I have a mild allergy to them. It's not that they can't be trained but because they make me want to scratch my eyes out lol