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[-] BallShapedMan@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

What the hell am I going wrong then? I've been bald for 3 years and I ain't got jack shit!

[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 17 points 1 week ago

Perhaps you forgot to invest the savings into building a global e-commerce empire.

[-] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

It's getting a 200K funding from your dad that's the real trick. He also worked for a large company making money at the time, he wasn't trying to survive.

[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 1 points 1 week ago

Plenty of people have received far more than that from their dads. There must be something else.

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[-] Thorry84@feddit.nl 5 points 1 week ago

3 years? I've been bald for 20 years and I'm 300K down the hole, when does this trick kick in exactly?

[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 4 points 1 week ago

You spent it all on avocado toast, didn't you.

[-] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Mate I was balding when I was 19 and went full cue ball when I was 23. I'm 36 now. Where the fuck is my money??!

[-] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 2 points 1 week ago

You and me both, my friend… remember Balding Elon Musk? I think it’s not so much the lack of hair, more like the lack of ethics.

[-] BreadOven@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Maybe he can just try out one more haircut. Maybe to just below the chin. Preferably with a large blade falling from some height. All you need is a basket infront to catch anything that falls off.

[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 3 points 1 week ago

But who will deliver my 2am drunk purchases next day for free? Communists? I didn't think so.

[-] BreadOven@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Robots? Communist robots? Who knows what could happen with the redistribution of wealth.

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[-] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

Steve Jobs would wear the exact same outfit, Every. Single. Day. That's the kind of dedication needed, most people aren't cut out for it.

[-] scytale@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago

Dude didn't even shower to save on water bills.

[-] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

He didn't even buy any expensive cancer medicine, he just drank smoothies.

/uj I'm not even making this shit up, he tried to beat his cancer with regulating his diet to include various fruits and vegetables and ended up using his private jet to jump ques on multiple organ donations , because , get this, YOU CAN'T BEAT CANCER BY EATING MORE FUCKING FRUIT.

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[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Silicon Valley turtleneck was just the Mao Suit of its era.

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[-] sundray@lemmus.org 4 points 1 week ago

There's more going on here the just the lack of hair. What secrets is he keeping under that shiny dome of his?

We must go deeper.

[-] DmMacniel@feddit.org 3 points 1 week ago

Hans, get ze drill!

[-] bstix@feddit.dk 2 points 1 week ago

That's no moon.

[-] hperrin@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 week ago

At $30 per haircut, you’d need about 8 billion haircuts skipped to save that much. Dude must cut his own hair every few milliseconds.

[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 4 points 1 week ago

No one said it was gonna be easy.

[-] bebabalula@feddit.dk 1 points 1 week ago

Two words: Compound interest 🚀

[-] vane@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Jeff Bezos cooking recipie.
Not need to shave Jeff Bezos before put him in oven.
Just stuff him like a chicken.

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[-] Beebabe@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Cheapest haircut in my town for my hair type is $75+tip. I just cut it myself now.

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

Probably not as good as being bald, but you'll probably save at least a few billion.

[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 3 points 1 week ago

Good news, at this rate it will only take you 3178666666.66667 haircuts to be as rich as Jeff Bezos.

[-] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 3 points 1 week ago

Jesus christ.

Are you a woman and is that USD?

The most I've ever paid was $65AUD for a hearcut and beard trim in a mining town where the majority earned over 200k a year

[-] Beebabe@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Yes, a woman, and yes USD. That’s the no-frills salon price for a trim for my hair which is “long/thick (curly)”. The more expensive places range into the $200s.

[-] dbtng@eviltoast.org 2 points 1 week ago

I guess you can't go with my solution. Hell, if it gets any longer, I may actually need a haircut, but I haven't had one in 5 years.
I'm a guy; nobody cares about my hair.

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[-] dbtng@eviltoast.org 2 points 1 week ago

I stopped cutting my hair when Covid closed all the barbers. Got a fukin mane now. Dunno, seems to have worked out. Still waiting for my billions tho ...

[-] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

No, no, see this is why you will never make it.

You gotta be bald

I shaved my head and now I have billions... Of cells in my body

[-] sniggleboots@europe.pub 2 points 1 week ago

don't fall for it, everything you save on barber visits you spend on razors

[-] lime@feddit.nu 1 points 1 week ago

i spend €8 a year on razors, how many barber visits is that?

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[-] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago

Is this how dougdoug rolls in the big bucks?

[-] SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 week ago

Bullshit.

Bezos can’t cut his own hair. He can’t see that far up his own ass even with all the mirrors in the world.

He probably spends more to be bald than it would cost to get all new hair.

[-] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 week ago

drones are a thing

[-] Kandy4me@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago
[-] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago

Avocados are so expensive, that's why Jeff turned his head into a giant avocado pit. Infinite avocado hack! ~whenever he finally decides to bury his stupid fucking head underground~

This is the real way to save money on barber bills

https://youtu.be/oqRRi81jsgI

[-] lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 week ago

And than there is me who is bold and still goes to the barber because the feeling of someone else cutting your bold head with a razor knife is just great. Also I have a long beard which is the main reason to go to the barber but I digress

[-] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Around my area it is hard to find a barber for under $20

[-] loomy@lemy.lol 1 points 1 week ago

makes sense

[-] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 1 points 1 week ago

Chase watches Ryan George, confirmed.

[-] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 week ago

#2 clipper and I do it myself. I try as best I can to chop away the gorilla fur from my neck to my shoulders with the beard attachment of my razor. ta dah.

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this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2025
306 points (99.0% liked)

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