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Iran could assassinate sunbathing Trump at Mar-a-Lago, Khamenei ally says (www.newsweek.com)
submitted 3 days ago by SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net to c/news@hexbear.net
49 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Can you believe it folks, I'm outside in my jorts, old man shorts, sunning myself, with no sunscreen mind you, that stuff causes cancer, and Iran, of all people, tries to drone strike me in my naval. Very rude, I'll have you know, I have actually the strongest naval of any president, that, quite frankly, anyone has ever seen. trump-anguish

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[-] Futterbinger@hexbear.net 29 points 2 days ago

Do it and I'll convert to Islam.

[-] aanes_appreciator@hexbear.net 7 points 2 days ago

downloading the phonetic pronounciation of the shahada just in case

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 55 points 3 days ago

Yo, my boy Trump wishes a mother fucker would. He ain't scared of you. He's practically begging for you to do it. I heard him telling his friends you don't have the stones!

side-eye-1side-eye-2

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 30 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

What're you going to do? Stab me? - Man who then gets stabbed.

[-] LoveYourself@hexbear.net 33 points 3 days ago

The article cites "Iran International"... I'm tired.

[-] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 17 points 3 days ago

Lemme guess, CIA front?

[-] LoveYourself@hexbear.net 22 points 3 days ago

Mossad & MI6 (of course also CIA).

It used to be funded by the Saudis until they normalized with Iran as one of the conditions was for the Saud cartel to stop financing terrorists inside of Iran.

Iranian hackers just took it offline though alhamdulillah

[-] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 8 points 2 days ago

Normal people:

Mossad, MI6, and the CIA: So, picture Trump sunbathing in the nude at Mar-a-lago, with just a hint of pink sunburn starting to form on his shriveled old man balls...

[-] Finger@hexbear.net 34 points 3 days ago

no more half measures walter

[-] Elysium@hexbear.net 34 points 3 days ago

I heard Trump said Iranian pistachios are shit. These aren't my words, just words I heard. Someone pass along the message. Thank you.

[-] BobDole@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago

I heard he said Tahdig was an Israeli dish

[-] prole@hexbear.net 35 points 3 days ago

I feel like this deserves a change.org petition

[-] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 36 points 3 days ago

prove it

[-] GnastyGnuts@hexbear.net 26 points 3 days ago

Don't talk, just do it if you're gonna!

[-] PoY@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 3 days ago

they're not gonna do it, which is why they're saying it.. sucks

[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 25 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Trump will be in the air within 10 minutes of the US confirming ballistic missiles heading towards US mainland. That shit needs to be shot from a submarine literally on the coast or else it's not gonna be fast enough.

I genuinely think a person with a grenade would be more effective. Or a wire guided drone.

[-] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 22 points 3 days ago

illegal-to-say we saw how close the Crimer dipshit got and he was just some clueless teen with a rifle anyone in america could get their hands on.

The yamagami approach of just walking up worked vs Abe (and almost worked vs Regan) but I dunno if someone could get that close to the president nowadays.

[-] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago

It's a good thing we have a stable genius for president and not a greedy pig that you can literally just pay for access. Otherwise you might have the fucking my pillow guy being regularly spotted in the rose garden

A cool tom Clancy plot would be like a foreign actor gifting the president a jumbo jet and wrapping the wiring harness in c4 or something lol can you imagine shit would never happen in real life but Hollywood is crazy the shit they come up with

[-] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 6 points 2 days ago

There is one with the power of impenetrable disguise deep-infiltration

CW: jumpscarebrace-cowboy

[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

If average people had access to fly by wire bomb drones that can't be jammed out of the sky he'd be dead already. It's an incredibly easy option that is basically only in the hands of military right now.

Honestly I think the fly by wire isn't even necessary and the only component preventing it is accessibility of a trigger mechanism for an explosive. Most people that would be willing to carry this out simply do not have the knowledge or focus to learn how to make that part for themselves.

[-] Runcible@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago

Trump will be in the air within 10 minutes of the US confirming ballistic missiles heading towards US mainland

is he flight capable?

[-] WittyProfileName2@hexbear.net 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

When he gets excited, he floats around the room. He's on that Baron Harkonnen mindset.

[-] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 4 points 2 days ago

A big enough trebuchet is a pathway to abilities some consider to be... Unnatural

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 19 points 3 days ago

sunbathing Trump at Mar-a-Lago

C'mon Iran! At least give us good content. You let us down by not sneaking in a camera and taking some photos of BOSS HOGG.

[-] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 28 points 3 days ago

inshallah

[-] Bloobish@hexbear.net 26 points 3 days ago

Oh nooooo, that would be terrible.... please don't /s

[-] ComradeSpahija@hexbear.net 20 points 3 days ago

sicko-crowd inshallah-script

[-] edge@hexbear.net 24 points 3 days ago

xi-plz

*Khamenei

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 22 points 3 days ago

timmy-pray

[-] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 15 points 3 days ago

Would the overreaction to this be worse than the trump effects we have now?

[-] Transform2942@lemmy.ml 14 points 3 days ago

I think if Steven Miller or JD Vance were able to seize power, they would be much more competent fascists. Hard to game it out though, given their extreme lack of charisma

[-] ANarcoSnowPlow@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago

I think the critical lack of motion destroys them. They are sauceless. Honestly I'd be surprised if we didn't see the rise of one of his kids in response.

[-] Transform2942@lemmy.ml 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

By "lack of motion" do you mean that vibe they give off of waiting around for a strong man to tell them what to do? If so, I do agree. It is a fatal weakness in their line of work.

Inb4 Ivanka Trump and Chelsea Clinton "unity ticket"

[-] ANarcoSnowPlow@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago

That's Vance's half of it, but the waiting around is part of the lack of charisma.

They are boot lickers not boot lickees.

People just don't wanna follow these guys. Miller seems like the type to take charge if he thinks he could, but the vibe I get from him is Rob Schneider in Down Periscope.

[-] Transform2942@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 days ago

Not a film reference! My secret weakness

[-] ANarcoSnowPlow@hexbear.net 2 points 2 days ago

"leadership through screaming" sums it up pretty well I think. That only works if you're super charismatic otherwise, and he's got no juice.

[-] Transform2942@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 days ago

I can totally see him trying to be that type of leader but his nasaly/weasely presence would ruin the effect I think

[-] Biggay@hexbear.net 2 points 2 days ago

Miller is not a dude who inspires confidence or fear. Most of the republicans are one or the other, Miller is both.

[-] XxFemboy_Stalin_420_69xX@hexbear.net 19 points 3 days ago

fuckin do it then

[-] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago

the-doohickey

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 19 points 3 days ago

Do it

[-] opus86@lemmy.today 8 points 2 days ago

The MAGA response would be something to see. A bunch of unhinged people full of rage just raging out.

[-] CommunistBear@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago

Are we finally getting those Iranian sleeper cells that the media was talking about a week or two ago?

[-] take_five_moments@hexbear.net 18 points 3 days ago

LOL DO IT NO BALLS U WON'T

[-] rufuscrispo@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago

don't threaten me with a good time

[-] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago

for real? you mean it?

[-] LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

inshallah

inshallah-script

xi-plz

etc

[-] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago

I doubt it

this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2025
119 points (100.0% liked)

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