67
Everybody gets one [choose wisely]
(lemmy.zip)
Cheetos, please.
2 kittens
Eight people are now standing in your living room; it's two pairs of the alternative rock band "Kitten". Looking at their other selves, they start panicking:
Fully automated luxury queer space communism, in the sense it was conceived at (as opposed to you interpreting the words yourself), instantly, with everybody’s belief system magically adapting as if they had lived in this new society for a few decades. As a result, everyone adapts immediately, without negative result on anyone's mental or physical health, and without anyone being brainwashed or changed in a way they wouldn't have naturally changed if they had time to experience living in a community that they can trust and that cares about them.
In other words: Iain M. Banks’ Culture decides to bring Earth in, but magically instantly.
Complete obliviation.
Sure, you are now the owner (of a copy) of the "Rex Nihilio" album from Massachusetts death metal/deathcore band "Obliviation".
load more comments
(1 replies)
Some berries that won't go moldy in 2 days please
Sure. Here are some berries that will go moldy in 3 days:
Fuck yeah
A socialist organization of the economy, where everyone works less and less during the week as technology advances and assists, but doesn't replace, the labor pool.
load more comments
(1 replies)
I want my farts to smell especially pleasant and take people to their happiest childhood memories.
load more comments
(2 replies)
I'd like to be the sole owner of all global patents required for an effective, sustainable, eco-friendly solution to removing and recycling microplastics from earth's environment.
load more comments
(1 replies)
To see all Oaken Tower players have their computer mice overheat when playing that game. To the point where an hour of playing it would make their mice unusable.
load more comments
(1 replies)
To go back in time to be myself 15 years ago with all the knowledge and experience I have now.
Otherwise I'd like to be the only one capable of telepathy and reading minds at my will.
You open your eyes. Memories of past and future rush through your head at the same time: it's too much for one person to handle!
load more comments
(1 replies)
One (1) fall of capitalism please
You got it. Post apocalyptic scenario ends all forms of investment and monetary exchange. We go back to the barter system:
I'd like to be granted the ability to, at any time and without limitation on scope, number, or length, ask the universe questions (asked in the dialect of modern english in which I am fluent without requiring specific location, action or other ritual) and know the answers to those questions, but with the following stipulations:
- that all answers are to be formatted and delivered in such a way that I understand them, without any changes or consequences that my current self (as of the writing of this statement, in my current condition) would consider a significant change to my physical and mental stability, and without requiring more than 3600 metric seconds (relative to my worldline) to understand in fullness, and being delivered in a timeframe of less than 3600 metric seconds (relative to my worldline).
- that any redactions due to such stability concerns as in the prior stipulations are to be formatted and delivered as part of the reformatted answer
- that any answer which is inherently unknowable returns an explanation for why it is unknowable, formatted as an answer pursuant to the prior stipulations
- that no answers pursuant to the ability lead to circular logic
- that this ability, its answers and enabling factors shall not require a sacrifice which my current self (as described above under my current circumstances when informed of the context of the sacrifice in plain English communication) would not think reasonable.
- that if such a sacrifice is required, an explanation of the requisite sacrifice and the factors requiring it be returned to me, formatted as an answer pursuant to the prior stipulations
- that I am to be able to choose to transfer any of these answers to another individual of any species, and that the individual be able to understand the answers, so long as the prior stipulations on sacrifice and physical and mental stability are satisfied both for myself and the secondary individual.
For the lazy, here is the summarization of my local AI:
You'd like to have a powerful ability: being able to ask the universe any question in modern English at any time, without limitations or rituals, and receive an answer that's:
- Understandable by your current self (no significant changes to physical or mental stability)
- Delivered within 3600 seconds (an hour) of asking
- Reformatted if necessary to protect your stability
- Includes explanations for unknowable questions
- Avoids circular logic
- Doesn't require an unreasonable sacrifice (if a sacrifice is needed, you'll be informed)
- Allows transfer of answers to another individual, as long as they can understand the answer and meet the previous conditions.
In essence, you want to have direct access to all knowledge in the universe, without any negative consequences or sacrifices that might harm your well-being or stability.
Yes, unlimited access to universal truth, with error reporting, but I've read enough monkey's paws to know how this goes.
The house always wins. Happy cake day btw
load more comments
(1 replies)
I had dinner last night, but I didn't like it that much. Can you change my memories of the whole situation?
load more comments
(2 replies)
this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2025
67 points (100.0% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
33865 readers
1174 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS