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Reposting a question I saw on reddit like a decade ago. My favorite answer I read was, "I'd take my 100 dogs home and live like a king."

Personally, I have two cats, Sansa and Shere Khan. For both, I could significantly narrow down the options by seeing which cats meowed at me the most. (I swear I didn't teach them to yell, but here we are.) For both, I could bring in a dog to discern which cats weren't scared of dogs. For Sansa, I could wait until dinnertime and put down some wet food, then see who hems and haws about eating it despite having screamed for it. That might not be enough to get it down to just one each, but oh well. I could use 5 or 10 more cats.

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[-] jordanlund@lemmy.world 30 points 2 months ago

Reach down and try to pet them.

The one that dodges like Neo in the Matrix is mine.

[-] JetpackJackson@feddit.org 7 points 2 months ago

A blast from the past!

[-] steal_your_face@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 months ago

Thought it was a possum at first lol

[-] jordanlund@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

After her first vet trip.

Before the trip:

[-] proudblond@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

She has such a pretty face!

[-] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

I guess I would simply have to pet all 100 cats

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[-] Oka@sopuli.xyz 17 points 2 months ago
  • Sit in a chair
  • Leave room
  • Return
  • 2 cats will be in the chair
[-] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

That's pretty smart. If you fail, hey now you have two more cats

[-] you_are_dust@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

I'd try and use the bathroom. I'd assume that the two cats that follow me in are mine. If it turns out that all cats will just follow strangers into the bathroom, then one cat is immediately going to jump in the bathtub and start messing with the curtain. Another cat is going to try and dive head first into the toilet. Those will be mine.

[-] FeloniousPunk@lemmy.today 12 points 2 months ago
[-] pinball_wizard@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 months ago

Sorry for your loss, and thank you for the laugh.

And my answer is the same.

[-] Akasazh@feddit.nl 3 points 2 months ago

identical

You now have 99 dead pets

[-] BlueLineBae@midwest.social 12 points 2 months ago

My dog is the most cowardly dog I've ever met. All I would have to do is bring the toy he is afraid of. All the other dogs will either ignore it or want to play with it. But my dog will recognize the scary toy and cower. I got him that toy for Christmas and it was a really nice expensive toy. Same brand as all his other toys he loves. But for whatever reason, he's scared of it. So I gave it to my parent's dogs who think it's just the best toy they've ever seen.

Easy. Mine is the cute but stupid one who keeps walking into walls and barking at his own shadow. And no, he's not blind. Just dumb.

[-] Drewmeister@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

"find it!" will cause her to search everywhere for her toy. For the other one, it's whichever starts yodeling if I splash water into the air. I've never heard another creature make the noises he does

[-] Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I would bring my bed into the room and turn on the floor fan.

[-] faltryka@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Oh easy. I’d go sit on the porcelain throne and close the door. He’ll show up incensed that the door was closed soon enough.

Alternately, I could walk within 10 feet of the cabinet that has the treat bag in it.

[-] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago

Pick up the cats one by one and see which lets me pick them up without trying to attack me.

My cat scratched me a few times on Month 1, but is fine with me now 2+ years in, so if you mean it's all identical clones except the memory, then judging by her initial behavior, only my cat would let me pick her up.

[-] kelpie_returns@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

She knows the secret whisper. Even if she doesn't intentionally acknowledge it, I can still tell by the way her tail twitches at the sound.

The other one...I really don't know. He is lost to us ig

[-] ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org 5 points 2 months ago

I just have to sit down for a few seconds. The one that throws themself over my shoulder like a baby is mine. She did that when I first met her at the shelter and she still does it when I visit her at my brother's

[-] P00ptart@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

He would come to me on his own. He's the goodest of good boys and loves me infinitely. My only problem is that he loves people too much. "Hey that's another human who hasn't petted me!" But he always comes back and wags his tail because he's proud that everyone loves him the way that he loves everyone.

[-] Jerb322@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Seymour has a little pink spot on his muzzle, and I'm not sure if could tell Will from a shag rug...

[-] ArsonButCute@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 months ago

There's 99 other dogs in the room. The antisocial thing will be glued to my leg 😆

[-] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Mine would be the dead one. It's been quite a while since I've had a pet.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago
[-] Phen@lemmy.eco.br 4 points 2 months ago

If I say "it's here" she'll run towards any window to bark.

[-] STUNT_GRANNY@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

My cockatiel is the only one in this hypothetical flock that would scream my name, when any nearby human gets into an argument.

[-] lengau@midwest.social 3 points 2 months ago

Lie down and take out my phone. The two cats who immediately get between my face and my phone are mine, as are my 198 new cats.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

I'd bring a pinch of crabgrass and see which sleek void with a kink in her tail comes up to eat it.

[-] Serious_Me@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Easy - I wouldn't. Especially since it would just be an empty room.

[-] DarkSirrush@piefed.ca 3 points 2 months ago

I have taught my dog a few nonverbal commands, so I could easily identify her without even speaking... If she isn't too busy terrorising the other 99 dogs of course.

[-] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 months ago

With one of my dogs, I'll look for the dog that does exactly what I say when I say it. For the other, I will look for the dog that completely ignores everything I say.

[-] HenryDorsett@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

I feign striking my wife in anger.

We shared a house with my wife's brother. He was an alcoholic, and got uppity one night. I was at work, so not home.

Our dog made sure he regretted being an aggressive ass towards his sister.

Then I nearly got assault charges for making sure he remembered why he was bruised and scratched up the next morning after I got home from night shift. The canine puncture was his own fucking problem. Note: I didn't lay a hand on him, was just accused.

[-] Witchfire@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

She's the only one who ignores me when I call her name

[-] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Well, first I'd be asking what you did to the eye on 99 other pets. After that, I'd find a stairway and take home the first one that tried to trip me going up the stairs

[-] brokenlcd@feddit.it 3 points 2 months ago

If there was just my cat? I'd just get a hoodie on and pretend to start studying. The cat that climbs my back and snuggles up into the hood is mine.

If my dog is also there? I'd just say "where's the cat?" In my dialect. My dog would just waltz over to the cat and sit on them. Or just point at them like he does with quails (hunting dog) if he can't reach her.

[-] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Each of my cats has a specific strange trait that I would look for.

[-] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 months ago

Forget my pet, I would be very worried with everyone involved, cats will just like "holy fuck so many enemy!" and cause a fight.

Other than that, depend on which one im looking for, one could be identify with his eye and being chonk, one with her belly and hook-shaped short tail, one with his whine and fluffy tail and his mane, and one with her very judgemental squint.

[-] J92@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

I honestly can't think of anything better than being in a room with 100 Boxer dogs.

At the end, the sofa and blanket would have to be huge to fit us all on it, though.

[-] SpikesOtherDog@ani.social 2 points 2 months ago

My dogs know their names. They also have individual whistles. They react to certain phrases.

Emeril gets upset if I put my shoes on my hand and clap. To him, it is like I'm a parent admonishing a child. Also, he can sit, paw, and speak.

Eli has the energy of a wet rug, but he whips his head around at the right phases. He can sit, paw, and roll over.

Della is gassy and treat motivated. She would be the hardest because she doesn't know me when she is free. She can sit, paw, kiss, and play guess what hand the treat is in.

[-] LiveLM@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Can I have props?
If yes, give me a kitchen sink, cutting table and some tomatoes.

Upon the mere sound of water running in the sink, my little bastard will run to my feet and start yelling because he thinks I'm preparing meat. Then I show him I'm actually preparing a salad, and offer him a tiny piece of tomato.
He sniffs and walks away in one swift disinterested motion.

Whoever doesn't scream at my feet when I'm at the sink, or shows any interest in the tomato is out of the list 🍅

[-] Squirrelsdrivemenuts@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

I would first try to spray all dogs with a water hose.. all who play or chill are eliminated. Then I would bring them to a lake. Mine would be the first in the water.

[-] Broadfern@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I’ve answered this before, but -

I would sneeze or cough, and my oldest would act horribly offended and yell at me. Or she’d come up and demand attention because she’s 8 pounds of fluffy Velcro.

My second oldest would be the one cat to act offended at a bowl of wet food.

My boy would come running at the sound of a yogurt container opening or a whipped cream can being used.

My youngest girl would be the one to make eye contact with me and bolt away. She’d also be looking for her momma (my second oldest).

[-] muntedcrocodile@hilariouschaos.com 2 points 2 months ago

Stand their till mine comes and jumps on me. She lives with my family most of the time so she gets very excited every time I see her.

[-] Nalivai@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Oh, it's easy. Mine is the one cat who is picking constant fights with all the other cats. For the amount of love and affection this guy has for human, he has the identical in size hatered for other cats, especially if they look like him

[-] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 2 points 2 months ago

My dog comes to click noises like a horse

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this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2025
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