Well since I’m already short and can’t do anything about it, I guess I’m free to have as much pork, alcohol, and tattoos as I please!
You just rediscovered Dark Calvinism
Yo, I like this.
Pork tattoos!
Nobody will go to heaven because heaven is not real.
I would sooner ride a camel through the eye of a needle than go to heaven
You're rich?
Fake it til you make it?
Overcook chicken? Believe it or not, also no heaven
Undercook, no heaven. Overcook, undercook.
lol I can’t believe grown ass adults believe this shit. I’m surprised most people dont start questioning this after they learn about Santa clause.
Santa was not on the Epstein list, I promise you.
but, like trump, he knew. santa knows about all the kiddo predators, he fucking sees you while you're sleeping and knows when you're awake, why isn't santa doing anything?
He's always been just another oligarchy stooge. He works for Coca-Cola Company after all.
tattoos will go to heaven will go heaven will go to heaven will go to heaven
You guys, I think I decrypted the secret message.
Just the tattoos though, not whoever wearing them.
tattoos eyeballs
you can't climb the ladder to heaven if you're short since the rungs are too far apart
They have to go in 3’s because cartoons tell me they can stack up. They would wear a brown trench coat with shades. Then they can climb the ladder.
Some guy at the business factory tell you that?
AI doesnt appear to have gotten to the Old Testament yet.
it's gonna be interesting when AI's start fighting each other. Think religious wars are nasty? Wait until agentic AI starts driving automated trucks into 'enemy' data centers....
When I got my first tattoo 30 years ago, my then mother-in-law said I'd be in prison soon enough. So far I've managed to be a good citizen (it seems following the law is easy), but I've got a plan for this to prove her right. When I'm about to go bye bye , I'm going to strip naked and run around on live TV, probably at a sporting event. That will at least get me arrested, and if I resist arrest and generally be annoying, I'm might go to prison to let the state pay for all the medical things associated with my demise. These tattoos are a bad influence. Hell awaits.
What if god said you may go to heaven only if you climb these stairs but you're on a wheelchair type shit
Heaven is boring as Hell
Someone said that hell probably really is the place to be. Heaven has mega rules to get in, and everyone else just crashes at Satan's place.
The torture for the true sinners probably happens, but at the hands of the normal people who didnt make it to heaven. Be honest with yourself, would you pass up the opportunity to ram a hot poker up Hitlers arse?
The torture for the true sinners probably happens, but at the hands of the normal people who didnt make it to heaven.
I thought it was supposed to be a pineapple?
Fun fact, "pineapple" was a nickname for a grenade, so presumably you'd want to insert it in such a way as to leave the pin accessible
Short people will not go to heaven.
Well, obviously. They can't reach.
Randy Newman is the gatekeeper of heaven?
Too tall to die, too short to go to heaven
I know that Grok went Nazi but Gemini going fundie wasn't on my bingo card.
Sorry kids.
good to know I will never be at risk of going to heaven because I'm short
Do you think the pearly gates have one of those "You must be THIS high to ride" signs outside?
tfw you've tried to be a good lad, prosocial and overall kind to your fellow man, but God made you 1.70m
;_;
A wise man once said that they had no reason to live.
Has it been confirmed that they have no reason to die as well?
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