When you’re dating JD Vance and he wants you to role play as the sofa cushions.
Wonderful
Guys, ill be 5 mins late.
Plenty of time to shower afterwards
5 mins includes the shower
4mins is plunty of time
Just swipe your credit card and leave.
Bc then she will just keep on doing this and you’ll have nowhere to sit and play Nintendo
Ok that’s 3 minutes, and the rest of the evening?
Good cocktails take make than 3 minutes to enjoy
I'm not a good cocktail though, I'm a bad lay.
So 3 minutes it is.
Doing the chores she demands in return?
You mean your half of the chores?
"Half"
Bonk!
Nah, she's playing too many games expecting the guy to see past that camouflage and take the hint.
Where the fuck am I supposed to sit?
I have 2 good suggestions
Word to the wise stay the fuck away from women who try to separate you from your friends
Mhmm, had an ex that used to bed me when she new I was about to go out and get extremely angry when I then went instead of staying there to cuddle her after
On an unrelated note, I may now understand JD Vance a tiny bit better.
Enhance!
How much can a banana cost? 60 seconds? 90 seconds?
Seriously, they can wait in the car for 5 minutes.
I'd still go. Bros before hoes.
I would take care of the hoes and then go see the bros.
Unless she's been withholding sex as a manipulation tactic, in which case the ho got to go.
The she ain’t yo ho no mo
bro fo sho
Hellllll yeah bro
how would that work though ? she's so low to the ground
There's multiple ways. Depends what's your strongest areas are too - lower body, core, or upper body strength.
I agree, that's an awkward height. I can't think of a comfortable position to match this pose on that particular couch.
Gonna have to plank it
Yeah… that’s a pretty convincing reason not to leave 😂
I'm mostly just impressed
She's holding my drink for me? How sweet.
Me: Dinner time!
She seems nice.
Source?
~~I have never known any of the personalities depicted in this joke and suspect that it is a complete fabrication that only seems funny or relatable if one is used to imagining the world according to their wishful thinking~~
I retract this remark as I totally misinterpreted the post. Rather than sharing my revised opinion I will remain silent as penance lol
You've never had a clingy partner that used sex as a motivator?
No, but I don't see how that is what's depicted in the meme anyways? Who would be being clingy or using sex as a motivator here? Perhaps I've completely misunderstood this
The guy wants to leave his current situation (hanging out with girlfriend) to go hangout with his buddies. Her not wanting him to leave offers sex in exchange for him staying (this is being clingy and using sex to achieve her goal). Its absolutely something that has happened to me and I feel is genuinely relatable among many. While in reality this would likely be a single offhanded comment. The joke here exaggerates that common situation by putting her in an exceptionally silly and sexual pose. The absurdity of the pose on top of the general relatable nature make it "funny". It is also just a shitpost
Jesus Christ I read the roles exactly backwards I'm a moron. I thought it was implying that she wanted to fuck the friends. My bad. I guess the horniness of the image prompted my mind to assume this was some kind of mickey7 type post
Thats why I'm here friend
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
