OMG yes!!! I’ve already dropped them off at the fire station. When can you come over??? 🥰
proceeds to kneecap the guy and let's her kids taking batting practiced with his balls
Call me old fashioned but I don't think kids should be playing with the genitals of adults
I don't know if I'd describe hitting a guy in the nuts with a baseball bat "playing with genitals"
CBT exists... :|
Cognitive behavioral therapy, right?
... Right?
Back on Reddit, I once saw a lengthy debate about whether this or what you meant should be the default assumption when seeing that acronym. I don't think either participant left satisfied, which I suppose was appropriate.
Cranial Brain Thinking
That's nuts
So are we supposed to communicate honestly or not!?
Women want honesty until they're asked to put their kids up for adoption. Smh
It's like, I'm trying to meet you halfway over here, but you've gotta work with me a little!
Listen my dude it’s a two way street. You look decent so what about I drop off one kid at the fire station and we go from there? I’m sure you’ll get to love little Timmy.
Great, I know the perfect year-round boarding school.
You seem like you'd be a genuine arsehole in real life. (Just being honest.)
Woosh
"Would you be willing to choose me, a man you don't even know, over your own children? I don't even know why I have to use these sites, I'm literally the most amazing man on the face of the planet. It's a disgrace I even debase myself by using this. Did I mention I'm the most modest person in the world as well?"
It's not real, bro. The bad man can't hurt you
I hope it's not real.
Geez, guy could have just swiped left.
Looks like Aaron earned an iron urn.
They say romance is dead in 2026
the most unhinged starter messages, as we.all expected something sexual or creepy. its worse 😭
Dating apps are designed to keep you single forever.
I can't imagine ever using one.
If you talk on them like Aaron, then yes.
You can still get lucky. I met my wife on Okcupid, but there was a ton of disappointment before then.
How long ago? Before Match Group decided to make all of their products the same, OKC used to have an amazing algorithm that matched based on quiz answers. At some point, they scrapped all of that and turned it into another Tinder where quiz answers were deemphasized and swiping based on first profile picture is the main interaction method. All of their dating apps now use the same algorithm, which as many people have said, is tuned to keep you using the platform as long as possible, not provide you with high quality matches.
My cousin met his wife on tinder, he seems to regret that these days tho
It's too late to swipe left.
So you'd think, but that boy ain't never been too smart
Now I'm imagining him putting his finger on her forehead and physically trying to swipe her out of his life.
This can't be real.
Relevant Oatmeal
I don't see how that's too relevant. The comic isn't about having kids per se. It's about just giving up kids you've already had, which is quite different.
I think they meant adjacent instead of relevant.
I didn't think it was possible to be denser than a neutron star but here we are...
He's the one for sure
he is probably not the person in the photos and fake ragebait
wha-
wha.
-- Frost
Yeah Aaron can hang
C'mon parents.... You know you wanna. They are sweet and all. They make you proud.
But then there are those days. Today my 5 year old comes asking where the roku remote is. Clearly its in the room. Just press the button to find it! Ring! Ofcourse its in the couch! You little devils never put it back where it be... Okay its not on the couch. Press again! Ring! Yeah its in the couch! The finger chopping Recliner! Ehhh dady, why is the TV scrolling? Hmm okay somehow its inside the cushion? You open the cushion but there's nothing!!!! Ring it again! Ring! Its in the couch! Look if you press here it scrolls! Oh now it went to Netflix! Shit! Its everywhere on the couch! NOO!!!! You guys dropped it in the finger chopping part of the recliner! Didn't you!?? I swear! Nothing! Its not there! Hold on, don't jump on the recliner! Sonobabich jumped! But you know that shit, your finger nails clipped tight but didn't bleed. You're good! Oh look at the fucking remote its just there under the metal cushion spring. How did it even get there!? And where did all these candy wrappers come from? Those are sticky. Go get a wet towel! Let's sweep and mop and wash the broom. It's now 8pm. You cleaned up the house. Bruised knees, sore finger nails still teetering of fear of being loped off when someone swings a scissors closed. Like you can feel the cut right at your most favorite finger joint. No, its still there, its just the nail thats gone. Turn around the couch potatoe has been watching loonie toons and tossing more wrappers under the couch.
That's it! Thus kid's gone tomorrow! That and other barely legal ways to bring about sanity start to run wild. But after that split second, all is good and you love your kid. You'd do anything for that little lazy sonobabich mini you. Yeah I don't know what the heck that guy is on but giving up your kids for a looser dude is in no one's things to do list. But may I interest you in a finger chopping recliner adventure?
When my kid was four and refusing to go to bed, he once stood at the top of the stairs, holding tight to the stair gate, looked me dead in the eye, and shit himself.
On the one hand I was impressed with the show of superiority, but on the other, I did briefly consider having him adopted.
So yeah, I get it.
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