Start the new year off right and leave this bad habit behind you, it's disgusting!
I shit every day and can't stop. I can't control myself and my desire to shit is so strong, I find myself putting it before my family, friends, job, I'll even wake up in the middle of the night with the need to shit sometimes. This addiction impacts my life every day. If I don't shit, I start to think about it and worry.
I've got the solution!
Not eating!
Never eat a single thing again and you'll never have to be burdened with having to shit ever again!
It's free, easy and you'll look great as well!
Until the day you die!
Bro you just gotta hold your poop in
But when will I use Lemmy then?
Are you unemployed?
I prefer the term freelance CEO
I work in the food industry. Only time I'm on Lemmy at work is breaks/bathroom
If I had three wishes, one of them would be to never need to use the bathroom again.
Wish granted. You now have catheter and colostomy bags.
STOP BEING THE TRICKY KIND OF GENIE PEOPLE!
Wish granted, I'm the murderous kind of genie now. So... What's your last wish?
Jeez. All I wanted was to never have to be around poo or pee again. Is that really asking too much? You guys are mean.
Granted. You are on the moon (with empty bladder and poop shute)
Everybody jokes but one day there's going to be a Cyberpunk|40kMechanicus|DeusEx market part for purchase, and the world will be further divided by those that need access to sewage and those that do not.
If I could buy an implant that compressed my shit into diamonds, I would be so happy.
Even if that would mean that we keep growing in size, fattening up completely with all we ever consume?
Well no, obviously I would stay the way I am.
Slogan should be "put a cork in it."
Tampons work surprisingly well.
We went from 3 days to infinity?
Shitting is so wasteful. People dont know that you just have to hold it in for a while, so your body can fully utilize it.
Source: I am voice actor for GTA 6.
Oh my god it's dickvamblerAU. Can you say "boop" for me?
Reading this shitting
I'll be sending TP! Thoughts & Prayers 🙏
Im doing it right now, cope and seethe amirite
This really is happening in current events
What the fuck how is lemmy leaking into reality…?
No shit?!
You all are so weird. I love it.
wait until they learn about eating. fucking revolting.
I imagine myself completely exploding after about a week of not shitting. It's still gonna make a shitty mess everywhere.
Some Lemmy advocacy does feel like this
Pro tip - Simply eat a light meal of shirataki noodles, around 200 Cal. With any luck you can form your very own bezoar and rid yourself of this addiction for the rest of your life.
We need VaPOOrise
ALL HAIL DIARRHEA!
I may be accidentally joining this ... um... movement
because I've been procrastinating squeezing out a loaf I've had in the chamber for a couple hours
Not much a movement then. Hopefully you got that loaf out by now.
OP proposed a movement.
And I need a bowel movement.
Like that old Kids In The Hall sketch.
"WE WILL NOT BE TYRANNIZED BY OUR BLADDERS!"
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
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