Aliens want to communicate and they decide to use you and your personality as the base model for all humans. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
UN: "Boy, they really like using Star Trek memes to convey their thoughts...."
Turns out Star Trek was just a retelling of actual intergalactic life
Aliens: Who the hell told them all this stuff ... I don't look like that? ... My ass isn't that fat ... Is it?
Well as someone with ADHD, depression, and anxiety, as well as being on the spectrum, initially we'd be kinda screwed. I have spent a lot of time in therapy and have done a lot to manage it all, as well as developing empathy for myself and others, so not so bad.
However, I choose to be a non-theistic Satanist and an anarchist, so a lot of other people are going to be fucked. Especially those that deserve no empathy due to their hoarding of resources and exploitation of people and the planet.
Could you elaborate on the Satanist part? It's the first time I encounter that specific term.
I met a member. And he explained to me that they are pretty much atheists but from the point of the law they enjoy religious protections.
Basically if you call yourself atheist, you won't get any religious protections, because you don't have any religion. Everyone knows that FSM is a joke, so that wouldn't fly either. So they created a religion. They chose Satan, to get expected reaction from devoted Christians, they don't believe in Satan though (unlike wackos from the Church of Satan). You can read their 7 tenets, which sound quite reasonable: https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets
This is actually really reasonable. What are the “religious protections” you speak of?
I'll gladly take aliens trying to cure me of an ADHD and depression i don't have if they can also cure us of religions and capitalism.
More importantly you going to therapy and improving yourself the way you described it, that in itself is sincerely the best exemple we can show an alien, ever.
Seems i am going to be just fine after all.
Seriously though how did you write something so personal and yet described my life so well.
Like the only difference is that you are a non theist satanist anarchist. While i am an agnostic spiritual anarchist having Jesus (but not god) as an example of a good.
Well, there'll be a lot less billionaires pretty quickly, from there it's gonna be a lot of references to star trek, doctor who, dead philosophers and general southernisms.
lol .... aliens arrive in 1960s era London police boxes to try to not alarm us as they make first contact
Aliens first message: ... I say my good man, it's quite a coincidence to find you in this part of the galaxy. I feel pecked by a hundred chickens, fuller than a tick on a big dog and fine as frog hair and not half as slick to greet you on this fair morning under god's blue sky.
Humanity is screwed.
They like being alone, don’t like loud noises, will find a reason to leave a situation with more than 3 people in a small area. They don’t have any sexual desire and will be most happy to go through life without ever having intercourse. Probably going to go extinct without outside intervention thanks to that, better intervene to preserve the species.
They want to hibernate when it’s cold outside. Cold = anything below 70f.
They’re herbivores though so at least they don’t destroy their planet by mass farming the cruelest and most inefficient food source possible. Silver lining?
Excellent source of creating a slave race? ... to build that interplanetary space gun to destroy XMH3003 and those stupid Morkahons
Humans only want to masturbate, sleep and play board games. Sounds great
I'm in
They're just gonna be commenting on Lemmy all day. Threat averted.
I think it'd go great.
I feel like they'd be horrified, and conquer our planet and force us all into therapy, but think they'd see us as worth helping
At one point in my job I was effectively the translator between English speaking Indian software devs, and American project managers. If I can translate technical information into something understandable to a PM, and vague program specs into actionable technical requirements for the devs I think we’d actually be alright with the aliens.
I'm literally autistic and I can barely even talk to people anymore, so I imagine it'll be a gigantic disaster.
I'm autistic. So they'd be very confused with most people I think
There's a lot of autistic people in this thread
There's a lot of autistic people on lemmy I think
“Why do these aliens keep making stupid, unfunny jokes”?
Can't leave the flying saucer without having triple checked it's locked.
“Hmm, it looks like these humans really like ‘tentacle hentai’… we could use this to our advantage”
Humanity shall receive the gift of estrogen!
I guess we're good. :)
Well... it could be worse... you should all thank them they didn't pick my sister.
Hey, the aliens want to communicate through a sarcastic misanthrope... well, I can't say I'd blame them.
I'll try my best.
I am pedantic to a fault, capable of simultaneously being the most specific and most vague person you will ever speak with, and have the social skills of a carrot. I am also debilitatingly ADHD, reasonably autistic, and more intelligent than is able to produce an emotionally functional adult.
I will leave it up to you all on if you want me to be the model, but I'd be happy to if it were up to me.
In one sense? Very, very much. I hope y'all like tentacles. In another sense, the complete opposite of screwed. I hope y'all like free healthcare.
Not bad. Couple of you fucks would be ackacked into non-existence but 99.997% of you would be alright.
You make it sound like you have a fervent hatred for ~250,000 people.
I'm intrigued...
Dude must have a grudge against Samoa or something. That or he wants to distribute some wealth and zap all the billionaires and anyone close to being one.
That would be 99.999967%, not 99.997.
There about 8,019,876,189 people in the world, 2640 of whom are billionaires, or about 0.000033%
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World%27s_Billionaires
2023: In the 37th annual Forbes list of the world's billionaires, the list included 2,640 billionaires with a total net wealth of $12.2 trillion, down 28 members and $500 billion from 2022. Over half of the list is less wealthy compared to the previous year, including Elon Musk, who fell from No. 1 to No. 2.[2] The list also marks for the first time a French citizen was in the top position as well as a non-American for the first time since 2013 when the Mexican Carlos Slim Helu was the world's richest person. The list, like in 2022, counted 15 under 30 billionaires with the richest of them being Red Bull heir Mark Mateschitz with a net worth of $34.7 billion. The youngest of the lot were Clemente Del Vecchio, heir to the Luxottica fortune shared with his six siblings and stepmother, and Kim Jung-yang, whose fortune lies in Japanese-South Korean gaming giant Nexon, both under-20s.[10]
I'd say just barely north of average, but quickly declining.
As someone with d.i.d. it all comes down to which personality they take.
I think u re asking on the wrong platform.
Screwed!
But this is not a very good/logical/reasonable alien to be in contact with. There are so many ...ists with can call this alien. Generalization with sample of one? Pfff... They won't even get here...
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker