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Encourage your crabs to do some light stretching because I have a feeling they will be dancing soon

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[-] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 50 points 1 year ago

And he survived? cringe

[-] a_blanqui_slate@hexbear.net 48 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

He's right, the first time it was sad and the second time it is funny.

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[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 47 points 1 year ago
[-] Cummunism@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

Kentucky will just re-elect him

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[-] john_browns_beard@hexbear.net 45 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Imagine how often this is happening when he isn't on camera, it's probably his 10th one today

[-] TheModerateTankie@hexbear.net 38 points 1 year ago

microsoft forced a security update while he was in the middle of a press conference and he needed rebooting

[-] Parsani@hexbear.net 32 points 1 year ago
[-] TheCaconym@hexbear.net 37 points 1 year ago

Wednesday’s episode occurred when a reporter asked the Republican leader if he was planning to run for reelection in 2026.

Dude probably heard "2026", his memory hasn't been working since the 90s so he must have freaked out

"Holy shit I've time traveled"

[-] VernetheJules@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

How about a show of unity and bipartisanship where him and feinstein battle to the death and both die in the process

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[-] Lochat@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Why the fuck they gotta be mini? Crank that shit up to 11.

[-] Sleve_McDichael@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago
[-] Finger@hexbear.net 43 points 1 year ago

no more half measures walter

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[-] Rom@hexbear.net 32 points 1 year ago

Full, uncritical support to the blood clot in his brain.

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago

every day he looks more and more like Dana Carvey in that turtle movie

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[-] Des@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago

i hope each time he comes back from the full brain reboot he is scared and completely loses his sense of self. a little taste of the painful death that i hope awaits him

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[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 25 points 1 year ago

I hope he runs for president. Would love to have President Stroke up there continuing to charade of democracy

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[-] Cummunism@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

id want him to suffer a long time, but Kentucky will definitely re-elect him 3 times if given the chance.

[-] MrSnowy@lemmy.ml 24 points 1 year ago

Looks almost exactly like a seizure. Has it been confirmed it's a mini stroke?

[-] john_browns_beard@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

From what I've read, the symptoms from both of these episodes are more consistent with a TIA. He hasn't confirmed anything, all we got from the last one was his handlers saying that "he's fine" (this is definitely a normal thing that happens to people who are fine btw).

He reported dizziness, displayed difficulty understanding what other people are saying (asking if the reporters could speak up), and he didn't just "snap out of it" and return to normal afterwards. These are not typical absence seizure symptoms.

[-] jack@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago
[-] DiscoPosting@hexbear.net 46 points 1 year ago

de-encyclopedia — TIA stands for "transient ischemic attack", but they're more commonly known as "ministrokes". The difference between a TIA and a stroke is almost entirely in the duration; the blockage of a TIA lasts very briefly and causes no permanent damage, while the blockage of a stroke lasts much longer and is highly likely to result in permanent damage, if not death. The underlying cause of atherosclerosis is the same in both, however, meaning that about a third of all people who experience a single TIA will have a stroke within the year.

[-] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Can you post what a legendary Half Light check passing would look like here?

[-] DiscoPosting@hexbear.net 42 points 1 year ago

de-half-light [Legendary: Success] — THIS IS IT. Λήξη. Everything is finally coming back down on him. Whatever time is left is gone. A sick and frail worm wriggling from lismoniá returns to it.

dubois-depressed — What? What's coming down on him?

de-inland-empire — Oblivion.

[-] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

Golden age of posting.

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[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago

Are these people just not allowed to retire?

[-] Freeanotherday@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

I have no idea if it's true but libs are saying the corpes of Feinstein can't retire because the corpse of Mitch will block replacing her on committees.

What is absolutely the funniest shit for all kinds of reasons

[-] Vingst@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

They are a built up brand. A vessel. The locus of a network of power.

Replacing them is like removing a kidney.

[-] Mindfury@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

have the staffers finally concocted their own sub-grift by realising they lose their jobs too if the representative steps down, so they're literally propping the old fucks upright and enslaving them?

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[-] CascadeOfLight@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago

SUFFER, DEMON!! lets-fucking-go

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

My man stuck.

[-] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago
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[-] Juice@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

STRONGER THAN MULE PISS

[-] Antiwork@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

Well that’s good

[-] ikiru@lemmy.ml 19 points 1 year ago

"Please speak up"

Ah, yes, that was the problem.

[-] SkibidiToiletFanAcct@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

come on, it's just his stutter, you guys are being ableist!

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

my name's Mitch McConnell and I'm here to say

 

...

[-] iie@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

I feel like I am watching a basketball circle around the rim

[-] NuraShiny@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

Let's hope for many more. He should not just kick the bucket, he deserves this and so much more.

[-] AynRandsGrindcoreBand@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

Just let him grind it out, until he pops it live on television - with some kind of vicious bowel-evacuation event. So the lasting memory of this fucking bastard is him on the floor in a pool of his own piss and shit and vomit and blood.

[-] Flinch@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

DIE MITCH DIE sicko-pig

[-] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

i want him to give a press conference every day until we get to see him die on live TV

[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Every single day there are people within inches of him that could just have an "accident" like stepping on the back of his shoes causing him a nasty fall and literally none of these people do it.

[-] Commiejones@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

Oh its gross! Just let him retire.

His whole support system is a bunch of leaches. They depend on him for their next meal so they refuse to let him die. His replacement is already decided and already has a team of leaches of their own.

[-] asg101@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

Practice makes perfect, he will get it right one of these days. Try harder, mitch! Stroke, stroke, stroke...

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this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2023
151 points (100.0% liked)

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