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submitted 4 months ago by Beetle_O_Rourke@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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[-] LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net 71 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I don't understand why people try to frame compliments in such a weird ass way. Just say "I like your hair, it's pretty 😁" that's it. BOOM! You have done it. You gave a normal regular compliment and probably made the other person feel good about how they look.

It's so weird people put needless (and most likely rude) qualifiers. Second option, just quietly appreciate the nuanced and unique beauty of another person, you don't need to say shit. You can just shut the fuck up. That's allowed.

[-] spacecadet@hexbear.net 39 points 4 months ago

It may not be conscious on the part of the white woman in this example, but this type of compliment is doubling as a way for her to give herself a healthy lib pat on the back compliment for being an ally or whatever

[-] LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net 29 points 4 months ago

God those people are the WORST! It's using an opportunity to be nice and decent to another person but you find a way to actually make it about yourself (the rhetorical yourself, not you you the commenter). I hate that shit, cause decency is sadly rare these days, and finding a way to present it to someone and then take it away is just vile and scummy.

[-] axont@hexbear.net 32 points 4 months ago

Crackers attempting to say anything normal about black people challenge

[-] LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net 24 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

☠️💀☠ SUBURBAN NIGHTMARE HELLISH ELITE DIFFICULTY ☠️💀☠️

[-] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 25 points 4 months ago

I learned to do this while studying a second language. I had to rely on simple words and I've grown fond of them even in my mother tongue (USSR Russian).

[-] da_gay_pussy_eatah@hexbear.net 16 points 4 months ago

Counterpoint to option 2: complimenting people is actually cool and good, so long as you're normal. Caveat: if you're cis-het-male presenting, maybe it won't be as well received. But above all, just be normal.

[-] booty@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago

im a normal dude who gives compliments all the time. it literally is just as simple as be normal, in my experience. ive said "I love your hair!" to black women verbatim before (and also other women but just considering the context here), and they were like "thanks!" and we moved on with our lives.

[-] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 33 points 4 months ago

One of my friends who is a person of Indian heritage born in the West told me about how his KKKraker job interviewer once said "you speak great English" and without missing a beat he replied "thanks, so do you."

He got the job.

[-] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 33 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

If you don't shut your cracker ass up I'll wear yours

[-] BoxedFenders@hexbear.net 30 points 4 months ago

This white lady definitely took down the "In this house, we believe:" placard from her lawn when she got home.

[-] sexywheat@hexbear.net 29 points 4 months ago

… what?

[-] axont@hexbear.net 52 points 4 months ago

It's common for black women to wear wigs to have long, straight hair even if their natural hair is very curly and poofy, like an afro. This is the result of western beauty standards imposing themselves on people who aren't white.

The black woman is complimented by a white woman for daring to defy western beauty standards to wear her natural hair. The black woman then responds that it must take confidence for the white woman to wear her natural hair as well. Basically saying, "I'm not wearing a wig, but you should be." It's a good clap back.

[-] LGOrcStreetSamurai@hexbear.net 22 points 4 months ago

The black woman is complimented by a white woman for daring to defy western beauty standards to wear her natural hair. The black woman then responds that it must take confidence for the white woman to wear her natural hair as well.

A great and straightforward explanation! 👍🏾

[-] sexywheat@hexbear.net 18 points 4 months ago

Oooooh I get it now thanks.

[-] Taster_Of_Treats@hexbear.net 13 points 4 months ago

Also it's not just wigs.. Hair relaxers can be very harsh chemicals that can burn your scalp. So it's a lot to ask somebody or require that they straighten it. But some schools and work places still do.

[-] sexywheat@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

some schools and work places still do.

My gut reaction to that was "WTF that's bullshit no way they could force people to straighten their hair!?" and then I thought about it for 0.00005 seconds and was like "Yeah of course they would."