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My thoughts are the dead guy shouldn't get to decide how they're grieved cause you're dead and the people who feel like grieving together should just like...not do a whole ritual thing. But since the whole ritual thing is what would be decided for me if my parents outlive me, I need a contingency plan. I will make my funeral wishes absolutely impossible to tske seriously but also legally binding so it's either no funeral or the dumbest shit anyone has ever been to. So far I've got thar I want it held in a bouncy castle, and that representatives of as many religions as they can get to do their funeral stuff at the same time and to only play Bolt Thrower

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[-] flan@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago

can you book the dancing pallbearers

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago

I can hold the funeral until they can make it

[-] buckykat@hexbear.net 15 points 4 months ago

Demand your rotted corpse be flung by trebuchet at a prominent government building

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago

Lawyer would say 'no, that is iillegal as fuck'

[-] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 15 points 4 months ago

'no, that is iillegal as fuck'

speech-top

nerd <--- ur lawyer

[-] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago

literally who cares how illegal it is. you're already dead? what are they gonna do? give you a life sentence? it's already over

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

The layer would care. He is a nerd but I'd also be dead, so he'd be holding all.the cards. He could just cross thst part out if he wanted. What would my family do sue him?

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 15 points 4 months ago

I have a little money set aside for catering and hiring a rave promoter to hype up my funeral.

[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

Have a moment of silence while playing Derude's Sandstorm

"I always wanted to see Derude in concert, but never made it. Please respect my wishes."

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

I'll even spell it Derude and not the guy's real fake name Darude

[-] buckykat@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago

Go full Limewire and throw in that clip of Bill Clinton

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago

Ooh! Hire a Bill Clinton impersonator to sit in the front row, weep uncontrollably, sing Ave Maria beautifully and leave without speaking to anyone.

[-] Shaleesh@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

secretly tell one person (not in your will) that you request a group of total strangers attend the funeral and tell made up stories to the whole crowd. these people are not allowed to attend any post-memorial service events and are not to contact any other attendants to the funeral.

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

Good call, and doable

[-] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago

bare knuckle boxing contest for the rest of your money. also have a bunch of roleplayers act as characters from a TV show you hate

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago

That would just be funding a post mortem Bum Fight.

[-] aFairlyLargeCat@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

Hire a bunch of guys to sit quietly at the back like this anti-thatcher-action

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Scoop out any organs that can be donated and then barbecue the rest. Have signs outside saying if anyone's ever been curious about long pig, they're probably not gonna get another chance.

[-] Riffraffintheroom@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago

Make a playlist of songs you think will really broaden their horizons and they have to listen to the whole thing at your funeral no talking just sitting and listening.

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

Ewww, no. I do like these people, I'm just trying to force a no funeral situation. They might do that and I don't wanna hog the aux cord from beyond the grave and play weak tunes. It's Judas Priest and Bolt Thrower all funeral

[-] krolden@lemmy.ml 3 points 4 months ago

Sick can I get on the guest list?

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

Generally funerals don't have invites, you just kinda show up

[-] queermunist@lemmy.ml 6 points 4 months ago

Which is why yours should have a highly exclusive guest list.

Friends and family? Lame. Celebs and stars? Hell yeah ๐Ÿ˜Ž

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago
[-] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 1 points 4 months ago
[-] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 1 points 4 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[-] rando895@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 4 months ago

Instead of a priest have a speaker that broadcasts "the revolution will not be televised" with a sick drop. This is when the whole thing turns into a rave, and everyone has to show up dressed as their favourite communist.

Loss is sad. Better to party and celebrate life together, at least for one night.

[-] buckykat@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

You seen Andor, the (best/only good) Star War? Do that.

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

Might be really outside of the budget

[-] buckykat@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago

Just record a speech, you don't even have to pay for the pipe bomb

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago

I at least need someone playing the anvil

[-] Storm@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

I'd say donating your body to a college that's good about recognizing Palestine could do a lot of good. I think allowing a viewing and then doing a very low carbon funeral could be good. Like not getting embalmed would be cheap and leave your family too financially be okay.

I'd say ensure your pronouns and identifying traits are visible and written down legally could be another thing to consider.

I have personal opinions, but I hope this is a good start..

this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2024
29 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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