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Maths rule (files.catbox.moe)
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[-] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 16 hours ago

At the risk of outing the extreme perversity of my sick mind, I present the following math problems for your edification and enjoyment...

TW: Age-play

All participants are adult, even when otherwise is implied. Cat magic.

Yes, they are real math problems. I wrote up a bunch for a failed scene decades ago.

Enjoy.


Travel: On a road trip daddy is letting Tiffany steer the car. While Tiffany bounces softly on daddy’s lap, daddy is casually accelerating six miles per hour per minute. How far to they travel from the point they’re going 30 mph to when they’re going 90 mph?

Snack Time: Leslie is eating an enormous double-scooped ice-cream cone while Brenda is sucking on a huge Popsicle. Leslie's long licks up the side and along the top of her two scoops each average 8 seconds and 5 such licks consume an ounce of ice cream. Meanwhile, Brenda's sucking strokes are only 4 seconds long. But the juice-bar is so big she can only contain 2 inches of frozen fruity goodness in her mouth at a time. It takes 20 such strokes for Brenda to wear away an inch of her tasty treat. If Leslie’s ice cream cone is 16 ounces and Brenda’s Popsicle is 9 inches long, and it takes Leslie just as long to eat the cone as it does Brenda the last two inches of Popsicle, then which girl will finish their snack first, and by how much time?

Sleep Time: On Friday night, Teresa has a slumber party with six other girls. Daddy takes 30 minutes to tuck Teresa in, plus 5 minutes each to tuck in the other girls at the party, except Veronica with whom he takes 45 minutes. Daddy also takes 20 minutes to tuck in Teresa's little sister, Holly, and an hour to tuck in Teresa's older sister, Barbie. At what time does Daddy have to start getting girls ready for bed in order to have them all in bed by 10:00 pm?

[-] ftbd@feddit.org 4 points 7 hours ago

I was not ready for the truly unholy unit of mile per hour per minute

[-] JustAnotherKay@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

I mean that's just how acceleration works. Speed is distance over time, acceleration is change in speed over time, hence distance over time (speed) over time

[-] ftbd@feddit.org 1 points 2 hours ago

That's not the problem. Coming from metric, I expected m s^-2^ for acceleration. The imperial units for distances are weird enough in their own right – but using two different units of time for the two time derivatives is truly unholy.

[-] EddoWagt@feddit.nl 5 points 13 hours ago

What is daddy doing with Barbie and Veronica?

[-] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 10 hours ago

Actuarial consultation, obviously.

[-] poplargrove@lemmy.world 118 points 1 day ago

Well here's someone putting unnecessary math into their sex scene:

[-] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago

You guys are getting sex with your math?

[-] qaz@lemmy.world 96 points 1 day ago
[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 45 points 1 day ago

...is the speed of a cumshot that reaches its target's mouth 1 ft away in 0.28 seconds? Assume 6 mls of splooge. What is the transfer rate? If 80% of it hits the target and is immediately swallowed, what is the rate of loss?

[-] qaz@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago

It seems we've had a very different math lessons.

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 22 points 1 day ago

So no classes but lots of extra credit?

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 3 points 22 hours ago
[-] Zagorath@aussie.zone 23 points 1 day ago

Yeah, feels like I'm missing something here.

[-] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 49 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

What is the context for this? I am extremely entertained by the idea that this might be a thing.

[-] flamingos@feddit.uk 59 points 1 day ago

It's just an edit of this meme

[-] itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 1 day ago

several alphabets, in fact

once you run out of Latin letters you start using Greek, Hebrew, Fraktur, etc

[-] PlexSheep@infosec.pub 10 points 21 hours ago

I like using Japanese kana in my homework. I'm learning the language, and it helps with calming down after the rage of "what the hell is this thing, that doesn't make any sense???"

As a result, i have to prove that the set ま is open.

[-] itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 20 hours ago

I like that! I should start using Kana or cursive Cyrillic in my derivations to mess with the professors

[-] SandmanXC@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago

Wait till you hear about the sickos using arabic numbers

[-] FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee 19 points 1 day ago

The woke mind virus strikes again. I use English numbers like 7 LIKE A REAL AMERICAN 🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

/s incase it wasn’t obvious

[-] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 11 points 1 day ago

Or fancy letters, like the L in a Laplace transformation.

[-] I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org 1 points 6 hours ago

Also a good way to start an essay

[-] itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 day ago

And if that's not enough, you just straight up make up new symbols, like Nabla

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 10 points 1 day ago

Ah yes, because other science fields like linguistics would never just grab random letters and turn them upside down to repurpose them!

[-] Poik@pawb.social 3 points 1 day ago

əəəə... What do you mean? /j

[-] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 1 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)
[-] Poik@pawb.social 1 points 16 hours ago

Any upsidedown A in the set of all real characters used in academia would immediately illicit mathematical memories.

[-] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 1 points 14 hours ago

Did you mean ALL the upside up A?

[-] Poik@pawb.social 2 points 13 hours ago

Nope, it means "for any" as in no matter which one you choose it will be correct.

[-] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 2 points 12 hours ago

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_quantification

I usually used it as "for all", but its looks like "for any" is used too

[-] Poik@pawb.social 1 points 5 hours ago

I sit corrected. It's used as an arbitrary singular value within the proof, so for any always felt more appropriate.

[-] manucode@infosec.pub 23 points 1 day ago

What sentences make sense both in math and in a sex scene?

  1. These are some nice curves you've got, and that's no hyperbole.
[-] AFreeLarryHoover@lemmy.world 31 points 1 day ago

Sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply.

[-] quantenzitrone@lemmings.world 5 points 22 hours ago

If you are in possession of a penis, pull your pants down slightly and put said penis in someone's mouth, you achieve clothed oral sex outside of bed without dividing any legs and any chance of multiplying.

So nope.

[-] davidagain@lemmy.world 4 points 13 hours ago

Nice dick, bro, but I should emphasise that this can't be just anyone's mouth and you should check that the other person is enthusiastic about it all before beginning.

[-] quantenzitrone@lemmings.world 2 points 3 hours ago

thanks and sure

i just tried to keep the situation as simple as possible for the thought experiment

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

If my math classes had had some sex scenes, maybe I wouldn't have been so useless at it.

[-] needanke@feddit.org 7 points 1 day ago

I would be more useless :).

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Solve for x to see the money shot.

[-] Alice@beehaw.org 7 points 1 day ago

This is what my family thinks public school is like

this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2024
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