The two SEALs were identified as Nathan Gage Ingram, 27, who was posthumously promoted to Special Warfare Operator 1st Class, and Christopher Chambers, who was posthumously promoted to the rank of Chief Special Warfare Operator.
You are telling me that the most elite members of the us navy get promotions for... not being able to swim?
you have been promoted to two star dead bozo
This happened at least 9 months ago and I maintain that the stories published about their deaths then were so ridiculous, it has to be made up.
If I had to guess these guys were killed in action against rebels and the military doesn't want to admit it. Don't take what the military tells the media at face value.
Officials now believe it's likely the two never drifted, sinking "straight down due to weight," according to the investigation
Anti-nautilists in shambles
Unclassified documents reveal the infamous sonar phenomenon known as the "Boop" - a previously unexplained noise picked up across the ocean due to its huge decibel - was actually just a really heavy navy seal hitting the ocean floor after drowning.
๐๐๐
fuck do I wish I were good at cartoons, this would be a hilarious little 5 second animation
"Observing his teammate struggling," Ingram "jumped into the water to render (Chambers) assistance," according to the report.
Ingram was estimated to be wearing as much as 80 pounds in gear, with Navy investigators believing he was carrying a radio rucksack for the team. He, too, quickly sunk.
Truly brave to jump into the water while weighing 300 pounds. A real human bean
Damn life is cheap when you're an imperial stormtrooper, sucks to suck
Hell "divers" 
In Helldivers your character can not swim and drown easily.
so their team just stood there and watched them drown? damn critical support to their colleagues
"The entire tragic event elapsed in just forty-seven (47) seconds, and two NSW warriors were lost to the sea," according to the probe, using the acronym for Naval Special Warfare.
~lost to the sea~ they said 
Moby Dick ass obituary in the report. Just a poetic natural occurrence, the delicate balance and capriciousness of the wilds; the deadly high-wire dance of life among the elements and that; definitely not just 2 imperialists jumping into the ocean with 40-80 lbs of gear and directly drowning themselves.
The two SEALs were identified as Nathan Gage Ingram, 27, who was posthumously promoted to Special Warfare Operator 1st Class, and Christopher Chambers, who was posthumously promoted to the rank of Chief Special Warfare Operator.
damn they promote you if you drown yourself? talk about mixed incentives. "1st class drowning there Chris!"
"We remain immeasurably proud of his heroic sacrifice in service of this Country."
to be fair it is a heroic sacrifice to drown yourself so you don't carrying out imperial aggression. Just like John Mccains family can be proud of his sacrifice when he blew up that US aircraft carrier, then crashed himself in the jungle and publicly admitted to the criminal nature of the US occupation of Vietnam.
Uncritical support to the fucking ocean
"We remain immeasurably proud of his heroic sacrifice in service of this Country. We carry him in our hearts each day, remembering always his devotion to his Country, his brothers, and his family," the statement added.
On Jan. 11, a slow-moving cargo boat called a dhow was making its way across the Arabian Sea off the coast of Somalia.
Officials told investigators they believed the dhow was stocked with Iranian-made weapons -- ballistic and cruise missile parts -- that were being shipped to Houthi militants, who for months had been attacking commercial and military vessels in the region as a kind of protest against the war in Gaza.
Skill issue, I would simply not die for Empire.
The crabs appreciate their sacrifice as a tasty snack. 
Officials told investigators they believed the dhow was stocked with Iranian-made weapons
The 
version of "I smelled weed"
The crabs appreciate their sacrifice as a tasty snack
unlimited MRE crackers from the sub-marine crackers 
as a kind of protest against the war in Gaza.
Well, I guess enforcing the Genocide convention is technically 'a kind of protest'.
The anti-terror mission was a resounding success
It's a well known fact that humans can't breathe plain sight.
Are we buying this or did they get got by Ansarallah?
damn what did they know
When the "days since drowning" counter gets set back to zero and they bring out the water wings and pool noodles.
Good.
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Vaush posts go in the_dunk_tank
Dunk posts in general go in the_dunk_tank, not here
Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from the_dunk_tank
