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[-] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 3 points 12 hours ago

the only reason i enjoy hug people as much as i do today is because when i was in high school showing physical affection was mandatory. that was how you told them they had succeeded in breaking you out of your shell, and could now stop trying.

Just for the hell of it, if you want a well researched book about the value of all sorts of Rest to dispute that specific point.

[-] AddLemmus@lemmy.ml 53 points 2 days ago

"Being bad at stuff" is also so selective. The other kids are not expected to be two years ahead in math, but I am expected to be able to sit perfectly still for 4 hours and pay attention in an oxygen depleted room. Everybody has to have this nearly exact same skillset.

It's not what society needs, not even what the industry needs in the workforce, but that is most convenient for the teachers.

[-] oldfart@lemm.ee 8 points 1 day ago

That low oxygen training will come handy when you work on a spaceship or a submarine. Training the spacemen of tomorrow!

[-] MadhuGururajan@programming.dev 8 points 1 day ago

Its actually what corporate needs.

[-] OlPatchy2Eyes@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 day ago

In fact, your being two years ahead in math makes your inability to sit still all the more disappointing. See above the lesson on Fulfilling Your Potential.

[-] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago

that is most convenient for the teachers

Nope, also extremely inconvenient to them. It's only actually convenient for a small selection of neurotypicals with ideal or near ideal home lives/parent involvement, while nearly every other kid benefits from basic adhd accomodations like fidget toys or being allowed to sit/lie wherever to do their work. We haven't made any significant progress on teaching since the victorian era.

[-] 0ops@lemm.ee 45 points 2 days ago

I remember when I was really, really young I hadn't figured out all the nuanced definitions of the word "bad". At some point (I think it was in Sunday school) I told an adult that I put cereal in the fridge once. They said that was bad. So then I was all like "fuck, I guess I'm going to hell"

[-] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 33 points 2 days ago

When you’re a kid, adults use the most specious reasoning to try to make you behave properly, and then when you’re the adult you do too.

Nah, kids deserve more credit than that. I'm honest with kids (to an age-appropriate level) because it's vital that they develop critical thinking skills. Considering the world they're growing up into, they're going to need all the training they can get to become able to discern fact from fiction.

I give kids legit reasons. I explore their "Why" questions. Then when I don't know the answer, I'll be honest but supportive, "I don't know, but let's find out." We have to model what being a rational adult is like, and how we come to logical conclusions. Children aren't going to learn this stuff from being brushed off or told some silly explanation.

That being said, it's important to be smart about context. It's reasonable and responsible to disengage from the conversation if someone demonstrates that they aren't arguing in good faith, whether they're an adult or a child. The problem is, a lot of adults jump to whatever explanation makes their own life easier, without any regard to how their response can shape the future adult they're speaking with. If you're truly concerned about kids' futures, you have to acknowledge that there is a lot you know that kids don't know yet. Offer them the benefit of the doubt and seize these opportunities to teach kids how to think for themselves.

[-] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 24 points 2 days ago

The fuck I do. That sounds like you're just rationalizing your behavior.

By those terms, guess I'll have to consider that I am not an adult, despite being an Oregon Trail millennial.

[-] biscuitswalrus@aussie.zone 11 points 2 days ago

Your comment seems like a rational response to me.

[-] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 7 points 2 days ago
[-] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 day ago

...aussies have biscuits named after (the wagon route, but...) the video game that popularized the phrase "You have died of dysentery?" Odd choice.

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[-] apotheotic@beehaw.org 38 points 2 days ago

Not even ADHD (but am autistic) and this hit hard

[-] biscuitswalrus@aussie.zone 17 points 2 days ago

This is more autism than adhd and it's a huge value of autistic people to reflect a "normal" attitude as absurdity.

[-] OtherPetard@feddit.nl 5 points 1 day ago

Undiagnosed autism here with suspected ADHD, I feel called out by this entire list, and much of that is because I/we have had to figure it all out by ourselves.

Turns out I'm so good at masking I forget to admit to myself I'm not feeling well...

[-] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago
[-] TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

no we don't

we did. now we don't.

[-] P4ulin_Kbana@lemmy.eco.br 7 points 2 days ago

Lemmy poetry ✍️

[-] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 days ago

Bottom text

[-] Eyck_of_denesle@lemmy.zip 31 points 3 days ago

Etiquette one I don't agree. It's just being respectful and mindful. You will acknowledge it once you see the absolute lack of it.

[-] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 57 points 2 days ago

One of the things my parents did understand correctly as "new money" is that a significant portion of piddling etiquette rules about what color to wear at what times of the year and which fork goes on the left were largely ways for the bourgeoisie to attempt to maintain their advanced standing against the increases in (the potential for) equality that capitalism initially brought about. Unfortunately my parents are also a very "well we got ours so everyone else must be lazy" type of people who think that's as good as equality can or should get.

[-] LwL@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

Really depends on what part of it. There are things like offering your bus seat to someone who needs it, or waiting for people to exit before you enter. Those indeed make sense.

And then there's what the other commenters pointed out, arbitrary rules about what cutlery to use and in which hand and such.

[-] apotheotic@beehaw.org 35 points 2 days ago

Except etiquette extends beyond just "common social etiquette". Using a knife and fork the "correct way" is etiquette. Eating soup by scooping the spoon away from oneself is etiquette. Placing your cutlery the correct way on the dish when you're finished is etiquette and varies wildly by country. These are just examples of dining etiquette, there's much more. Its all bullshit and I agree it should boil down to being respectful and mindful, but depending who raised you it may happen that you get reprimanded and punished for not following very arbitrary rules.

[-] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 14 points 2 days ago

Wait, theres a wrong way to scoop soup?! It seems I've been screwing up soup for a long time..

[-] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 10 points 2 days ago

Yah, you scoop away. No slurping. No passing out in the bowl.

[-] vithigar@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago

You can scoop however you want, but if you slurp I'm absolutely asking you to stop.

[-] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 5 points 2 days ago

Pfft, I'm not not passing out in my soup

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[-] Eyck_of_denesle@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 days ago

Agree. English isn't my first language and I did not know it also meant dining etiquette.

[-] LANIK2000@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago

Considering every culture has completely different etiquette, I'd argue otherwise. We're talking drinking from bowls vs talking during a meal style stuff. I'll hold my fork with the right hand and knife in left, despite being right handed and no etiquette freak can stop me!

[-] threeganzi@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 days ago

Yeah, if anyone is bothered by which hand I hold my fork in, I’d say they should see a therapist and work it out on their end.

[-] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 24 points 3 days ago

I don't think this means "Etiquette (please and thank you)", I think this means "Etiquette (look at this rube using his crab fork to grab pasta, what a yokel)"

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 days ago

Even cursive writing was not designed to be faster like my teacher said, it was to weed out the yokels from the gentlemen. A Thomas Jefferson-style hand, full of curlicues and serifs and f/s-es (i.e."difcufsion" for discussion) could be read or written by a person whose wealth enabled their education, but not by someone whose literacy was achieved by reading the family Bible and local newspaper.

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[-] IMNOTCRAZYINSTITUTION@lemmy.world 32 points 3 days ago
[-] thefluffiest@feddit.nl 14 points 3 days ago
[-] Whelks_chance@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago

I'm in the UK and have experienced all of this

[-] BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 20 points 2 days ago

Sounds like you're American too.

[-] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago

I'm from central Europe and have experienced all of this.

[-] flicker@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago

We are all American this blessed day.

[-] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago
[-] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 day ago

Unrelated but your Uname reminds me of a song I haven't heard in forever, Love In A Trashcan by The Raveonettes.

[-] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I'll give it a listen later on haha

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[-] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Implying the British are less messed up about these things than the Americans?

[-] BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 3 points 2 days ago

Not so much, it was more an ironic take that the British find this second nature and normal and therefore correct and a slight dig that our American cousins are more uncouth because they're less messed up in that regard.

[-] underwire212@lemm.ee 11 points 2 days ago

There are….others??

[-] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 days ago

Are you talking about me, or the person in the photo? If you're talking about the former, then you would be correct.

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this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2024
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