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Blue whale.
You never said I had to win.
They also never said in which environment:
Stranded blue whale.
In the ocean. I punch it once, it swims away. "Yeah bitch, you better run!"
With all the blubber, would a whale even notice a punch, especially if the force was lessened due to water drag?
Notice it? Likely. Interpret it as a threat? Unlikely. Swat you like an annoying insect? Probably.
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Doesn’t “think you can take on” imply winning though? If not at least surviving with most limbs attached.
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T-Rex. I mean, all I gotta do is remove one pin and the whole skeleton collapses.
Your mom!
Ah ya bastard
Most beasts under 80 lbs. Over 80 lbs, it's gonna be on a case by case basis. 90 lb sloth, no problem. 81 lb wolf, ...problem.
The biggest animal I feel confident in is an 800 lb human. Huge, but that fucker's gonna be exhausted ten seconds into the fight.
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A blue whale. (they won't fight back b/c they don't consider me a threat, and so when they wander away I win by technicality)
If I had bear hands then probably a small bear.
A large opossum. I could probably handle something larger, but I can only handle one pet at a time and I like opossums.
Yes, I understand you're asking about the largest animal I can fight and I'm telling you that that opossum is going to become a pet if I win.
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A giant squid. It would have to be on land though (you never said we had to do it in their natural habitat).
Galapagos tortoise. That's the largest I can think of without teeth and claws, not fast, and not in water.
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1 Lemmy
I could totally take a 6-year-old human.
fuck off those things are animals
Definitely something smaller than a grasshopper.. Lost that fight a few days ago.
Sunfish.
They are enormous wastes of flesh and evolutionary effort.
Probably a fainting goat.
A blue whale, as long as we're on land.
A gnat
I could probably handle a vole okay. Or maybe a tufted titmouse. On a good day.
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My 3.4lb rabbit recently decided I am not a threat and started chilling in the middle of my walkway at night. She now takes multiple shoves to make move. So, not a bunny
(This took years of work on trust I am mostly bragging my bunny loves me)
Definitely not a cat. I have cats and he wanted to go ballistic on me when I tried to get him off the window ledge when there was another cat outside. I had to push him off with a broom or risk losing an eye even though his nails are trimmed. He's lovely otherwise, I swear.
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Probably a medium sized dog, if I’m being realistic. I can’t fight a fucking bear or box a kangaroo or wrestle an alligator
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None, I would think how bad I felt if I hurt the cute furry friend, then tried to pet them instead and get mauled.
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this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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