Bit idea: Person who thinks that wiping with water and toilet paper is not sufficient, insists one is not truly clean until they've wiped the area down with rubbing alcohol (hexbear.net)

submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by cosecantphi@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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[-] godlessworm@hexbear.net 30 points 4 days ago

i laugh at idiots who pay dozens of dollars for bidet attachments. i pee on my own butthole to clean it. i use god's bidet.

[-] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 12 points 4 days ago

Tactically placed spoon on the toilet bowl so it pisses back at your butt

[-] buh@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago

this is what the seashells are for

[-] ImmortanStalin@lemmygrad.ml 12 points 4 days ago

RεTVRN

[-] imogen_underscore@hexbear.net 24 points 4 days ago

fr though toilet paper is barbaric and should be consigned to the past

[-] regul@hexbear.net 15 points 4 days ago

How do you dry your butt after the bidet?

[-] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 14 points 4 days ago

I use a small towel that I hang by the toilet specifically for this purpose. I guess if I had other people using my bidet I would have a big stack of them and throw them into a little hamper after a single use or something, but they only ever touch my butt and I make sure it's squeaky clean before drying so I just change the towel out once a week.

[-] AnarchoSnowPlow@midwest.social 12 points 4 days ago

Look, you're the cleanest thing in your house at that point. So your towel is only ever getting cleaner. It is such a waste of precious resources to wash it.

[-] BobDole@hexbear.net 11 points 4 days ago

Why would I clean my towel? My towel cleans me

[-] Owl@hexbear.net 10 points 4 days ago

I agree.

By the way, are towels supposed to bend?

[-] Xavienth@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 3 days ago

The barbaric part is smearing your shitty ass with paper and expecting it to be clean, not the mere presence of toilet paper.

[-] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 9 points 4 days ago

The towel seems gross to me. I use a bit of toilet paper. Either that, or I just sit there for a few more minutes and drip dry.

[-] regul@hexbear.net 11 points 4 days ago

I have a very hairy ass and, even though my bidet has a heated fan, I still need some paper.

[-] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 11 points 4 days ago

One day I'll graduate to the bidet with air dryer!

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

my bidet has a heated fan

fedposting you've given yourself away, Agent!

[-] radio_free_asgarthr@hexbear.net 17 points 4 days ago

I only use acetone, can't get truly clean with weaker solvents.

[-] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 12 points 4 days ago

Psssh, amateur. I use benzene.

[-] MeowZedong@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 3 days ago

You fools, DMSO is the universal solvent. An added bonus is you can dissolve your drugs in it and clean your asshole while delivering drugs through the skin AT THE SAME TIME.

[-] RedWizard@hexbear.net 18 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I knew a guy once who would always shower after shitting. If he was in a place that he couldn't shower he would somehow use the sink to wash his ass. It was... clearly compulsive. He also thought it was weird that we thought it was weird that he peed in bottles.

[-] Lyudmila@hexbear.net 10 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Sounds like he could have used the Cinco Urinal Shower System, from Cinco! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLPi6vgJpG0

[-] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[-] CocteauChameleons@hexbear.net 10 points 4 days ago

That is weird clearly he should be using a jar instead

[-] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 14 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

As a fan of cleanliness and precision, I simply do a few passes over the area with a plumbing torch

[-] hexthismess@hexbear.net 14 points 4 days ago

I'm just waiting for a drive thru ass-wash to perfect the ass cleaning industry

[-] QuillcrestFalconer@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago

I wonder how that will work. Will they install little trapdoors at the bottom of your seat that open up?

[-] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 8 points 3 days ago

People mentioning acetone and rubbing alcohol. Those are great! But it can be expensive. A more frugal option is to reuse an old bottle for baby powder and put lye in it, it's basically soap. You can lye in bulk at some places. Just sprinkle it around to keep everything fresh down there.