Bit idea: Person who thinks that wiping with water and toilet paper is not sufficient, insists one is not truly clean until they've wiped the area down with rubbing alcohol (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by cosecantphi@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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[-] godlessworm@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago

i laugh at idiots who pay dozens of dollars for bidet attachments. i pee on my own butthole to clean it. i use god's bidet.

[-] ImmortanStalin@lemmygrad.ml 12 points 1 year ago

RεTVRN

[-] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

Tactically placed spoon on the toilet bowl so it pisses back at your butt

[-] buh@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

this is what the seashells are for

[-] imogen_underscore@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

fr though toilet paper is barbaric and should be consigned to the past

[-] regul@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

How do you dry your butt after the bidet?

[-] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

I use a small towel that I hang by the toilet specifically for this purpose. I guess if I had other people using my bidet I would have a big stack of them and throw them into a little hamper after a single use or something, but they only ever touch my butt and I make sure it's squeaky clean before drying so I just change the towel out once a week.

[-] AnarchoSnowPlow@midwest.social 12 points 1 year ago

Look, you're the cleanest thing in your house at that point. So your towel is only ever getting cleaner. It is such a waste of precious resources to wash it.

[-] BobDole@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

Why would I clean my towel? My towel cleans me

[-] Owl@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

I agree.

By the way, are towels supposed to bend?

[-] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago

The towel seems gross to me. I use a bit of toilet paper. Either that, or I just sit there for a few more minutes and drip dry.

[-] regul@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

I have a very hairy ass and, even though my bidet has a heated fan, I still need some paper.

[-] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago

One day I'll graduate to the bidet with air dryer!

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

my bidet has a heated fan

fedposting you've given yourself away, Agent!

[-] Xavienth@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 1 year ago

The barbaric part is smearing your shitty ass with paper and expecting it to be clean, not the mere presence of toilet paper.

[-] RedWizard@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I knew a guy once who would always shower after shitting. If he was in a place that he couldn't shower he would somehow use the sink to wash his ass. It was... clearly compulsive. He also thought it was weird that we thought it was weird that he peed in bottles.

[-] Lyudmila@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Sounds like he could have used the Cinco Urinal Shower System, from Cinco! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLPi6vgJpG0

[-] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[-] CocteauChameleons@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

That is weird clearly he should be using a jar instead

[-] radio_free_asgarthr@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

I only use acetone, can't get truly clean with weaker solvents.

[-] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

Psssh, amateur. I use benzene.

[-] MeowZedong@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 1 year ago

You fools, DMSO is the universal solvent. An added bonus is you can dissolve your drugs in it and clean your asshole while delivering drugs through the skin AT THE SAME TIME.

[-] hexthismess@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

I'm just waiting for a drive thru ass-wash to perfect the ass cleaning industry

[-] QuillcrestFalconer@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago

I wonder how that will work. Will they install little trapdoors at the bottom of your seat that open up?

[-] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

As a fan of cleanliness and precision, I simply do a few passes over the area with a plumbing torch

[-] Weedian@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

I bidet that shoots soapy water would be cool

[-] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

That'll dry out your buttflaps. Use iodine.

[-] Ildsaye@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

butt idea

[-] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

People mentioning acetone and rubbing alcohol. Those are great! But it can be expensive. A more frugal option is to reuse an old bottle for baby powder and put lye in it, it's basically soap. You can lye in bulk at some places. Just sprinkle it around to keep everything fresh down there.