1399

Mark Zuckerberg, Recipient of World's First Rat Penis Transplant, Announces Meta Will Stop Fact Checking (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 2 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

53 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[-] enbyecho@lemmy.world 116 points 2 months ago

Facts!

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 108 points 2 months ago

Is that the guy that likes to give blow jobs to dead pigs?

[-] rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 39 points 2 months ago

That's probably how he caught werewolf gonorrhea.

[-] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 14 points 2 months ago

You have to be careful with information like that. It might encourage some greedy little pigboy to become an hero.

[-] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

I thought that was former UK Prime Minister David Cameron.

[-] UpperBroccoli@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 months ago

¿Por que no los dos? Maybe they even like to do it together?

[-] athairmor@lemmy.world 81 points 2 months ago

Almost worth making a Facebook account to disseminate facts like this.

[-] adarza@lemmy.ca 37 points 2 months ago

almost

[-] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 76 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

They stopped fact checking just like Twitter didn't stop fact checking. It means they only stopped fact checking right wing news or popular posts that Zuckerberg doesn't like.

I assure you, if a Luigi post got popular, Facebook will "fact check" it before it gains traction.

[-] Sixtyforce@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 months ago

Just like any corporate status quo enforcer would yeah. Eh this is me probably preaching to the choir.

[-] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Now that you mention it, it's interesting, considering how we all share the same views, how we use this platform to preach to ourselves rather than to organize and collaborate

[-] moncharleskey@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 months ago

Interesting and unfortunate.

[-] Sixtyforce@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

I've long said that it's possible venting anger on social media may be kinda like announcing you're gonna do something healthy and then not actually following through, because the brain's flawed reward system gives you the good feel chemicals for just fantasizing about going on that run instead of actually going for a run.

The next question I consider is if it wasn't a deliberate consequence in the early internet...are the billionaire corporates in charge of social media platforms aware of this now, thereby actively seeking out ways to make us docile more efficiently so we don't get "uppity?"

[-] sundrei@lemmy.sdf.org 62 points 2 months ago

Ol' Rat Cock is at it again, smh.

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 47 points 2 months ago

Ya know if the online world becomes such a cesspool because of Musk and Zuckerberg that it actually brings back the old internet, that would be fucking funny.

[-] Rooty@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

In order to bring back the old internet you need to stop interacting with corporate silo sites.

[-] vulgarcynic@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago

Give me niche websites by hobbyists, not "influencers" and stumbleupon 2.0!

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago

Yesss

[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 45 points 2 months ago

I’m so glad that we have reliable news sources to inform us in these trying times.

[-] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

Do you think the onion has satire checkers, to make sure stuff is not reality?

I think the satire checkers dropped the ball on this one.

[-] sumguyonline@lemmy.world 38 points 2 months ago

Possibly THE funniest thing to see as the first thing populating the homepage when tripping shrooms. Good laugh.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] cyrano@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 points 2 months ago

[-] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

This gif looks like it’s from a mid-90s GeoCities page.

[-] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 months ago

Reject modernity, embrace You're The Man Now Dog.

[-] imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 35 points 2 months ago

The UHC killer Mark Zuckerberg who framed Luigi?

[-] amlor@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

Congrats for the upgrade!

[-] turtlepower@lemm.ee 24 points 2 months ago

Don't insult rats like that, man.

[-] veroxii@aussie.zone 10 points 2 months ago

No one's insulting anyone. This is very generous from that rat and a huge upgrade for Zuck.

[-] RustyShackleford@literature.cafe 21 points 2 months ago

I heard he eats prolapsed sphincters of diseased elderly animals.

[-] Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 2 months ago

Isn't that just a hotdog?

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] expatriado@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

not fair, in the metaverse he has a big dong

[-] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

In fact, it exceeds the metaverse maximum by exactly 3 inches. I saw an internal meeting about it where he said "take that, Chad. Who's got a small dick now?"

[-] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 14 points 2 months ago

That's wrong. He wants the user base to check the facts.

Looks correct, if you ask me....

[-] frayedpickles@lemmy.cafe 5 points 2 months ago

Facts are of course by majority rule

[-] rowanthorpe@lemmy.ml 13 points 2 months ago

Yet, although this exhibits strong The Onion energy, strictly speaking this could be posted in Not The Onion. Names matter, and I would love to be a fly on the wall witnessing the momentary meltdowns when people read this there...

[-] noxypaws@pawb.social 11 points 2 months ago

his stupid new hair only makes him look even more punchable, somehow

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago

Reports on meta state he's at least 10x more punchable.

[-] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago

I can understand why he did this. This man has the smallest penis energy I've ever seen in my life.

[-] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

is the seed of Dee Snider cosplaying as zuck? terrifying asf

[-] thefartographer@lemm.ee 10 points 2 months ago

He's not gonna take that

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 months ago

No, he ain't gonna take it!

[-] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

And it was still an upgrade.

[-] GenosseFlosse@feddit.org 6 points 2 months ago

Would be interesting to see the quality of his AI Project when it's trained on unmoderated Facebook posts.

[-] sad_detective_man@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

i was only really doing this for those woke's. you can come back antivaxers and q-anons, we're cool

[-] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

So does it work? Can he fuck rats with it? Can he get rats pregnant?

I'm asking for a friend...squeak! Squeak!

[-] Fisherman75@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Shrodingers rat penis situation sounds like.

load more comments

this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2025

1399 points (99.6% liked)

The Onion

5785 readers

361 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social