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Anon introduces himself (sh.itjust.works)
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[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago

That's dumb dick to his friends

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 days ago

crummy cock to his acquaintances

[-] ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 111 points 3 days ago

How old are they that they called labeled as ableist? This would not have happened in 2000s elementary

[-] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 54 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I don't know - the term "ableist" has certainly spiked in popularity in the last ten years or so, but even in the 90's you'd get a bollocking for throwing around the terms "mong" or "spaz" or "flid" within earshot of a teacher.

I mean, I can see why - I hate the terms myself now. but when you're in single digits of age, it's just used as another derisory term rather than a specific slight at someone's physical or mental development challenges.

It still got you in hot water if you were daft enough to get caught shouting it though.

[-] oce@jlai.lu 27 points 3 days ago

I'm not native and I discovered the word by reading a Lemmy community's rules.

[-] _stranger_@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

I had a teacher in the 90's call me a spaz.

[-] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Spaz was very mild in the US and very serious in the UK. Meant kinda different things too.

The opposite for extremity in these countries at the time was fanny. Meant completely different things.

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[-] PhilipTheBucket@ponder.cat 20 points 3 days ago

Hm.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=ableist&year_start=1990&year_end=2022&corpus=en&smoothing=3

They could be in 4th grade in 2010, and be 25 now posting this. I could also believe that elementary school teachers could be among the first 5% of people to adopt a new super-inclusive type of brand new lefty language that's just starting to be used for a new type of friendly inclusiveness in 2000.

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[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 5 points 3 days ago

Could be that they didn't say ableist at the time it happened but anon remembers it that way it just tells it that way.

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[-] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 82 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Anon after getting back:

The name’s Richard

Retarded Richard

[-] M137@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Nems Bernd, Jeums Bernd.

[-] MrShankles@reddthat.com 36 points 3 days ago

I can see it now... I'm called first; I don't know what an adjective is (I still struggle); I panic from the social anxiety of stage fright; I awkwardly try to say anything at all, so I can sit the fuck down and move on; so I say, "Really Richard"

I'm told that's an adverb, and I need to use an adjective. Now I'm pale as a ghost and about to faint from the panic. I stutter, "Richmond Richard?". I'm informed that's a proper noun, so I quickly try again (visibly sweating) spouting, "Reading Richard!"... and am told to sit down, because that was a noun and I've now been assigned extra homework on grammar.

Someone snickers and says "Retarded Richard" in a low voice. The entire class laughs, the teacher is doing their best not to crack a smile (but I can tell), and I am henceforth known as "Retarded Richard" until graduation and beyond.

Adverbs, adjectives, verbs... prepositions! I'm in a living nightmare. There is no waking up from this. I am, forever, "Retarded Richard"

[-] m0darn@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 days ago

At least Removed Richard keeps it as an adjective instead of making it a verb.

[-] Zozano@aussie.zone 56 points 3 days ago

Principal:

"OK this kid is fucking based, I'll reward him with a week off"

[-] serenissi@lemmy.world 34 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Why your screenshot looks more beautiful than usual greentexts?

edit: is it a custom font?

[-] Trollception@sh.itjust.works 28 points 3 days ago

They used an AI upscaler to enhance the details

[-] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 35 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

What is my purpose?
You enhance shitposts.

[-] Klear@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago
[-] CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

Ę̸̮͈͗̈́̋̎̎̔̍̌̋́͆͐͘ͅn̴̢̜̠̪̲͔̖͙̣͚̞͑̾̄̓̔h̷̨͎͙͍̩͇̟̜̘̏̈́͋̿̆̇͜͝͠ḁ̵͕͍͚̖̙̙̰̼̈́̒̎͊̊̀͘n̴̮̬͇̜̯̠̱̣̘̈́̀́̾̈́͝c̶̢̛̺̹͕̯̈́͆̅͗̒̇͗͘͠ȩ̷̧̡̣̼͉̙̲̯͇͇̳͆͌̈̅͆ͅ

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[-] PhilipTheBucket@ponder.cat 53 points 3 days ago

When I went to school, one kid during that exercise said that his name was so-and-so, and one thing he liked to do was stick his thumb up his ass.

He was known as "Thumbs" for the next four years, possibly longer. I actually don't think I ever learned his name, he was just Thumbs.

[-] superduperpirate@lemmy.world 31 points 3 days ago

I knew a kid who was caught beating his meat on a school trip, and was thereafter known as Spanky.

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[-] jimmux@programming.dev 9 points 2 days ago

They called him Rich-tard for short.

But he got the last laugh when rich 'tards ruled the country.

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 days ago

Sky's rim belongs to the nords!

[-] MintyAnt@lemmy.world 31 points 3 days ago

This actually happened, btw

[-] rtxn@lemmy.world 31 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

...Richard?

[-] adarza@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

a 9 yo kid getting a week suspension at the start of the school year simply and only because he called himself ~~redacted~~.. idts

(it filters the word here)

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[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 15 points 3 days ago

I wonder what Zelda came up with for that introduction

[-] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago

"Xylophone Zelda". Really fucked over Xenias introduction

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 days ago

Uh, xylophone doesn't start with Z, back to kindergarten until you learn your letters.

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[-] itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 3 days ago

Gotta be xenophobic Xenia now, sorry, I don't make the rules

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[-] itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 3 days ago

depending how she's feeling, zany, zen or zealous?

Or zonked, if she smoked a fat dart beforehand

[-] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 7 points 3 days ago
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[-] Atomic@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 days ago

As an outsider, it's wild to me that you can/could get suspended from school so easily.

[-] MintyAnt@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

I'm concerned but someone must tell you: Greentexts are not real stories

[-] Atomic@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago

I know they are unverified stories. But I have spent a decent amount of time in the US and everyone I know personally have a similar story of someone being suspended for something stupid.

This is simply a catalyst for those memories of mine.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

As an American, you'd have to have a conversation with the principal and possibly be forced to hang out with the special needs kids at the school I went to. And yeah the administration would not have seen the ablism inherent in making the disabled kids spend time with a dipshit who just said something offensive about them despite them not having done anything wrong

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[-] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 11 points 3 days ago

I can't come up with anything better, can anyone else?

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

Reliable

Respectable

Resplendent

Remarkable

Relativistic

Reprehensible

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[-] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 13 points 3 days ago

We had a dude called Richard in primary school that went blank at the thought of a nickname. Obviously, as responsible classmates we helped him out, and he was christened Romanian Richard.

Richard was not Romanian, nor did he have any ties to the fine country of Romania.

Whatever inexplicable logic that was at play here, directed that he should have the last ten seconds of the Taz-Mania theme sung to him repeatedly, sorta like:

"Richard Romanian,

Richard Romanian,

Richard Romanian,

We mean you!"

Before making the appropriate Taz noises finishing with a raspberry in close proximity to his face. What was really weird, was that Richard didn't appreciate this new fame and form of address, which was a real shame because everyone else did and it was highly entertaining before teachers got involved, parents got called, and it was saved for the days when Richard was really being a oil-fired arsehole.

These were the days before we drew the line from Richard to Dick, you must understand.

[-] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 9 points 3 days ago

Reasonable Richard

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this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
691 points (96.3% liked)

Greentext

4925 readers
1133 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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