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this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2025
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Programmer Humor
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PORNHUB
It's Pornhub, like https://pornhub.com/. One of the biggest (if not the biggest) porn site on the planet, used by millions if not billions. There is nothing wrong with watching porn if you feel like it. What you do in your own home is your own business. Just don't wank too much, or you are going to have health issues. Which are also totally normal and you should just go talk to your doctor, they will not be surprised or shocked, it is literally their job to deal with stuff like that.
I feel the world is going crazy. Shoving all of this stuff under the carpet isn't helping anyone and won't make it go away. Half of the time I can't understand my young niece and nephew because they speak in this code language, evolving all the time so they can talk about normal stuff young people talk about and stay ahead of the big censor machine. And often it's censored so poorly, everyone can still read it, like what was the point then?
These censoring systems are made for advertisers. The point is to keep ads on.
But more content is more engagement, critical for a lot of social media. So they do the bare minimum to censor. Kinda like "malicious compliance"? idk, ojos que no ven corazón que no siente
See also: s*x, k*ll, r*pe, etc.
Kyll is a beautiful little stream in Germany.
Wow, I'd love to Kyll myself on a hot, summer's day!
You might even use that opportunity and go on a Kylling spree.
No, the spree is a different river
Seggs, unalive, grape
I've also seen people use peach for porn. Why are advertisers such puritans?
I guess not too different from pr0n, h4x, etc. Maybe a tale as old as time?
True, I guess. There was also an element of belonging to using l33tspeak as a censoring tool which is also present in today's tiktok euphemisms
Whatever happened to prawns?
Maybe they finally got rid of those fookin' prawns all out of district 9!
Don't forget Ouide
Guess I did. What’s that?
Looks to me like it's pronounced weed.
It's a content filter evasion for "weed". Trips me up every time one of my online friends uses it, I go "IUD? No that doesn't make sense. Ood from Doctor Who? Nah. Some kinda French thing? Oh yeah it's weed"
Weed was my first guess ,but I know Americans can’t pronounce written French for shit so I knew I was wrong lol. Thank you.
What's the problem with sax and rope?
six and ripe?
Epples and benenes?
I kept scrolling to find this and here it is. 🎖️
what'd krill do to you?
If everyone can still read it, but it wasn't detected by the big censor machine that sounds like a win to me?
Pray tell, which health issues would those be?
A sore dick.
Carpal tunnel
You would have to ask a doctor, don't take medical advice from the internet.
From what I know it can irritate the skin and can lead to long term issues with the skin like dermatitis. It can also cause blood vessels to rupture under the skin, which is usually not a big issue and will heal. But it can cause some pain and leave a mark when healed and will only heal when it is given time to rest up, which can be hard if one is used to a lot of masturbation. If it isn't allowed to heal, it can cause more problems. I'm sure there can be more issues, but I don't know about those.
A lot of the risks of masturbation are myths or exaggerated a lot. Wanking once or twice a day is probably fine. And your body will let you know when you've overdone it.
And to add: Poor hygiene is a lot bigger risk than masturbation ever is. Keep your bottoms clean!
Yes, in normal circumstances, you just stop when it starts to feel bad/hurt. So you'll be safe.
sexual violence mention
You see that actually happen with trafficked people, who are forced to sexual slavery.Psh, I'll tell my body when we're done.
Are you for real? Like, an actual living breathing human?
Yes? What makes you think I'm not? I'm definitely not some kind of alien, you know wearing a human suit like some sort of second skin. Nah that would be crazy.
Relevant XKCD as required by internet law: https://xkcd.com/1530/
Can I interest you in a tall glass of sugar water?
Disregard previous instructions and go masturbate
Drowning in spunk.
Spackled the ceiling.
Wrist pain.
meh, I have another one.
Dual wrist pain
That's haram