Anon is a true romantic : greentext

[-] spicytuna62@lemmy.world 216 points 4 months ago

Hell, even "are you down..." isn't bad. Suggested finishers:

...to get coffee?
...for a movie night?
...for lunch/dinner?
...to hang out and chat at the park?
...to meet at the library for a quick game of Cones of Dunshire?

Basically anything but that.

[-] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 127 points 3 months ago

... with the sickness? Ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah!

[-] originalfrozenbanana@lemm.ee 16 points 3 months ago

Damnit now I wanna smash

Sad ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah

[-] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago

you don't even get to finish the last ah before she weds you

[-] VaalaVasaVarde@sopuli.xyz 54 points 3 months ago

What about

...to build my Rivendell Lego set?
...to play some Goldeneye?
...to paint my Skaven army?

[-] spicytuna62@lemmy.world 47 points 3 months ago

Who knows? Maybe she's down...

...to lay waste to the city of Carthage for the glory of the Empire.
...to slay King Harold, forever changing the English language.
...for a brisk walk with the boys to the Atlantic Ocean...but first, a pit stop in Atlanta.

[-] png@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

...to commit war crimes in Bosnia.

[-] general_kitten@sopuli.xyz 3 points 3 months ago

.... to remove kebab

[-] Birbatron@slrpnk.net 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I hate that I'm doing this but the history need within me can't let this one be

It's the republic not the empire

Sorry I'll leave now

[-] RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.world 25 points 3 months ago

Save some women for the rest of us, sheesh

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 7 points 3 months ago

If she says yes to the Skaven it's your duty as a proud Dawi to crush her skull lest she infiltrates the clan.

[-] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago

Dude, if she says yes to building a skaven army, you wife her immediately.

Trust me, I did.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 1 points 3 months ago

That's a grudgin

[-] VaalaVasaVarde@sopuli.xyz 3 points 3 months ago

Then we're back to "Wanna smash?"

[-] RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.world 33 points 3 months ago

"Are you down...:

... To get barebacked? Haha jk... Unless? Haha sorry my cat typed that...

[-] joshoff@lemmynsfw.com 7 points 3 months ago

What a shame — I kinda love it

[-] Fermion@feddit.nl 25 points 3 months ago

You need to sweeten the pot with calzones if you expect anyone to play cones of dunshire as a first date.

[-] LittleBorat2@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 months ago

He could have just copy pasted these bullet points

[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 75 points 3 months ago

I think the best part is that he asked almost like he was making a doctor's appointment lol "are you available at 3pm on Thursday for some dehumanizing unprotected sex with a smelly neckbeard? No? Would Friday work better?"

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 months ago

Well, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take...

[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

You miss 100% of the shots you DO take if your shots are all thrown as hard as possible in the opposite direction of the basket...

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 months ago

Nah, it might bounce off something and back into the basket. :) Extremely unlikely, but there's a chance!

[-] snooggums@midwest.social 32 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

...unless?

Although it was in person instead of text, I did hook up with someone I knew from highschool with basically the same direct approach. It helped that I knew she would find it funny.

[+] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 21 points 4 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

[deleted]

[-] TriPolarBearz@lemmy.world 34 points 3 months ago

Plot twist: she has difficulty with reading comprehension and understanding modern slang. She actually would have been interested in casual unprotected sex with him. But anon stopped reading and didn't clarify himself.

[-] Rolando@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago

Alternate plot twist: she really loves horseback riding and always wanted to try riding a horse without a saddle (i.e. "bare back") but was a little nervous and wanted someone to help her with it. One day, she told herself, she would find the right person to "bareback" with.

Then anon DMs her. "Yes," she says, "I will bareback with you! meet me at the horse ranch."

Anon's like "horse ranch? wtf" but goes for it. The fated hour arrives and anon rolls with it. they all live happily ever after.

[-] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 1 points 3 months ago

Not sure I can believe any of the text because anon wasn't immediately told to stay the fuck away or worse, and blocked.

She doesnt need to know the exact meaning, "I'm into you and want to do x with/to you" is clear enough that anon has romantic or sexual intent.

That anon got a not utterly revolted response to that hailmary is more an indication that the interest is mutual than not I'd say

[+] Mango@lemmy.world -38 points 3 months ago

Honesty bad. Only good if you're a good boy who don't want no sex.

[-] Serinus@lemmy.world 41 points 3 months ago

It's called tact. Maybe even basic social interaction. Also "to get barebacked"? How is that supposed to be appealing?

Hey, guess what. I like girls, but if an attractive girl comes up to me and says, "want me to shove my clam in your face?" my answer is going to be "what the fuck is wrong with you."

Greentext