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[-] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 55 points 1 month ago

I fart in the envelopes then they are like 'yay someone wants our credit card OH NO ITS FARTS!'

[-] TheColonel@reddthat.com 16 points 1 month ago

I know/hope this is a joke but people used to do this at an independent, third party, mail sorting place I worked at as a teenager.

They’d mail all sorts of shit (both literal and figurative) and it was basically handled by one guy who seemed ok with it but was definitely not ok.

Mail them lead, weights, whatever. But please, no matter how despicable the company, there’s likely some at very least mildly abused worker who is just trying to earn a wage and has to deal with the vile shit people try to punish companies with.

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[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

Basically the same thing they do when they send these things in unmarked envelopes.

[-] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 5 points 1 month ago

I read this as you wrote it: "its farts", like the envelope has farts, vs "it is farts". Both are technically correct, but seems so much funnier that way.

[-] dai@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Aaaah pink eye!

[-] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 48 points 1 month ago

When I was in college my roommates and I would open all those offers standing at the mailbox, seal the empty envelopes back up, then put then right back in the mailbox for the carrier to grab the next day (or maybe mail thieves, who knows). We figured just mailing them all back was going to cost something.

[-] Jayb151@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago

I did the same, wrote in the letter for them to suck my balls... They called me back lol

[-] LostXOR@fedia.io 30 points 1 month ago

Well... Did they suck your balls?

[-] Jayb151@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Unfortunately no

[-] The_v@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

When I was first out of college I used to get 8-10 of pre-payed envelopes every week. I kept a PO box for my mail that I would check weekly.

I would have maybe 1 or two pieces of real mail and a full box of junk.

So I started folding up the junk mail I to the 8-10 prepared envelopes every week. This was all done at the counter next to my PO box and dropped mailed back right then.

It was quite cathartic.

[-] djehuti@programming.dev 40 points 1 month ago

That's actually a large boulder; it's just the size of a small boulder.

[-] altphoto@lemmy.today 5 points 1 month ago

We won't ever know unless they included a fresh banana for size.

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[-] Delphia@lemmy.world 34 points 1 month ago

Friendly reminder.

Make sure that you use a box with no identifying information. Scribbling out the barcodes isnt enough.

Mailing restrictions still apply. Mailing them back rotting fish or potentially hazardous materials is a federal offence.

Mailing any kind of threat is also against the law.

[-] Natanael@infosec.pub 17 points 1 month ago

Doesn't help when you use a return postage slip. They have unique codes. Being "just annoying" is probably the safest bet.

[-] nickiwest@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

If you're concerned about your anonymity, keep in mind that companies frequently put ID numbers on their return envelopes to help match the returned mail piece with your record in their database. Sometimes the number is invisible (UV ink) so it doesn't look "mass produced" to the recipient.

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[-] Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago

We can do that?

Do I just take it to the post office?

[-] Ajen@sh.itjust.works 39 points 1 month ago

No, this is fake. You can put whatever you want in the envelope and send it back, but they won't deliver a whole package. They only prepaid postage for a letter.

Of course if you send something dangerous/threatening you might get arrested.

[-] daggermoon@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

I'ma print out a goatse and mail it to them.

[-] frezik@midwest.social 7 points 1 month ago

You'd just be traumatizing some low level data entry employee.

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[-] kieron115@startrek.website 21 points 1 month ago

IF you're going to do this, make sure use some sort of sealed package (like the box in the photo). You used to be able to slap these things on like a sheet of plywood and just send it as is but now if the package isn't sealed and is obvious misuse the post office can just throw it in the dumpster. If its a sealed package then the post office has to deliver it and the permit holder has to pay the charges. https://about.usps.com/postal-bulletin/2019/pb22525/html/updt_001.htm

[-] Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Like 70lbs of neutronium in a USPS flat rate box?

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[-] ptz@dubvee.org 20 points 1 month ago

Huh. I should try this with the old refrigerator in my basement that I've been needing to get rid of.

[-] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

If it wasn't shitty towards the post office people I would support it.

But under 10 lbs...

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago

Now you have to cut up your refrigerator into 10lbs pieces

[-] FelixCress@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

What about the body inside?

[-] tenchiken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago

Liquify and add to old beverage bottles. Simple and fun for the whole office upon opening!

[-] BigDaddySlim@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Sadly we have a weight and size limit on these, but if you can load a mini fridge and keep it under 70lbs it should be accepted.

Legally this is not shipping advice and purely a shitpost

[-] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 month ago
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[-] GroundedGator@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

This is how we save the USPS.

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[-] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 month ago

I just put another company's junk mail in their envelope and send it to them so they know how it feels.

[-] sheetzoos@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

All spam should be responded to in kind.

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[-] sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz 13 points 1 month ago

USPS got so pissed at me for just leaving my junk mail in the box. I told them over and over I didn't need trash delivered to my place. In the end, I just stopped all USPS deliveries. I had nothing of importance coming in through the mail.

[-] anachrohack@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

Postal Employee: "May I help you?"

Kramer: "Yeah, I'd like to cancel my mail."

Postal Employee: "Certainly. How long would you like us to hold it?"

Kramer: "Oh, no, no. I don't think you get me. I want out, permanently."

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[-] Matt3999@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

I once sent a thick telephone book with "Return to Sender - not at this address" on it after receiving mail addressed the previous house owner. This was after receiving their junk mail over several years and returning it with the same message scribbled on the envelope. This tactic finally worked and stopped the junk mail coming.

[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 month ago

This must've been a long time ago. Otherwise where would you find a phone book, let alone a thick one.

[-] notabot@lemm.ee 10 points 1 month ago

Don't use a rock, use 10lb of glitter.

[-] PaintedSnail@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Nah. That would piss off the mailroom employees, but they don't control who gets sent mail. The weight costing money does hurt the people who make the marketing decisions, though.

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[-] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 1 month ago
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[-] Etterra@discuss.online 7 points 1 month ago

I need to start doing this with marketing crap. Except just rocks. Heavy, heavy rocks.

[-] Brkdncr@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

I used to get a ton of garbage mail at an apartment i lived at. I'd just take as many of the coupon booklets from my box, jam them into one of those return envelops, and stuff it back into the outgoing mail box.

[-] potentiallynotfelix@lemmy.fish 7 points 1 month ago

"small boulder" just say rock vro 🥀🥀🥀

[-] mvilain@fedia.io 6 points 1 month ago

I have long fantasized about doing this exact same thing, especially to MAGA-types who somehow got my address and are mailing me requests for donations. Someone in those groups as well as THE SALVATION ARMY have discovered that those postage guaranteed reply envelopes cost money and prompt this response. So now all that stuff requires a stamp if you want to reply. I hope that's cut down on their fundraising efforts.

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[-] GrumpyDuckling@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

Check the barcode on the bottom and make sure it doesn't have your information in it.

[-] Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago

What can they do? Send you more junk mail?

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this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
500 points (98.6% liked)

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