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Anon blows his dad's mind (sh.itjust.works)
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[-] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 102 points 3 days ago

In case anyone was wondering: they're there in case you change your mind later on and want to transition. God left them there as a backup.

[-] hovercat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 36 points 2 days ago

That was awfully nice of him, but then why does he always he sew up the vagina too? Kind of a dick move.

[-] Sunsofold@lemmings.world 3 points 1 day ago

a dick move

Heheh

It was a group project between the pantheons of old, Odin thought it was funny and Zeus was being dick. Everyone else was kinda okay with their suggestions though.

[-] BreakerSwitch@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago

He assumed giving good access to the prostate as a pleasure center in the ass was close enough and called it a day

[-] uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 2 points 2 days ago

Why not make it self lubricating though??

[-] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

Look man this entire sprint was only six days long and we had enough shit already planned, take your scope creep and shove it. Saliva works if you're dedicated enough and you're smart enough to invent Astroglide. Ship it

[-] flippinfreebird@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago

Spit and foreskin is all you really need

[-] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

him

he

Ahem.. are we assuming something?! Think about it.. if God made us in their image, God is a hermaphrodite with a split personality disorder. Thus males and females. This is basic stuff.

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[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 110 points 3 days ago

I've got nipples, Greg, can you milk me?

[-] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago

The British Bakeoff show is forever weird for me.

[-] Sylence@lemmy.dbzer0.com 45 points 2 days ago

I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?

[-] xkbx@startrek.website 86 points 3 days ago

talk to him about non-nippulous topics, like football, or canned beer (do NOT mention draft)

[-] moseschrute@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago

Help. What if I already mentioned draft

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 15 hours ago

Well now he's going to rant about Vietnam

[-] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

[-] ironeagl@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

What was Wenger thinking, sending Walcott on that early?

[-] certified_expert@lemmy.world 57 points 3 days ago

Or, say "hey how are your nipples" and when he says "what" you reply "what" too, to play with his mind. Then he will question wether the first nipple conversation even happened

[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 41 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I can get behind full-on nipple torturing someone’s dad. Constantly mispronounce words- refer to nickels as nipples as you pay for small items. Talking about your city should involve at least occasionally saying something to the effect of “I’m a big fan of this areola, but that one’s been sucked dry by greedy housing developers.”

Maybe cut the nipples out of your shirts. Definitely cut the nipples out of his shirts. Ask him whether he’s cold, glance down, and then adjust the thermostat without waiting to hear his answer.

Change your lock screen photo to a cropped version of this. Replace your light fixtures with boob lights and ask him to help tighten the nipples. “Just give them a twist, I’m begging you.” Serve him Vietnamese milk melons daily. In fact, every meal or snack has to involve dairy or dairy alternative milks.

Yeah, I think I could get this guy’s dad to cry within 2 days. 3 if he’s vegan.

[-] certified_expert@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago

Damn! That's far beyond what I was proposing... this took a dark turn... dark and pointy turn

[-] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

It’s a little nipply outside. What? I said it’s nippy outside.

[-] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Jesus Christ! Go back to waterboarding people in Gitmo, you don't belong in polite society!

[-] Junkers_Klunker@feddit.dk 5 points 2 days ago

Are you some sort of torture mastermind? Holy fuck 😂 even accounting for potential difficulties.

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[-] Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 3 days ago

Football balls have nipples though.

It is where you blow them up with.

[-] D_C@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago

I've been using dynamite all wrong. It's no wonder I was kicked off the team.

[-] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 30 points 2 days ago
[-] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago
[-] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago

Confirmed, there are many more people who want it than have it.

[-] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I was expecting a number in the low thousands. 8-10 thousand tops.

I severely misunderstood the internet xd

[-] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

My mind was blown by this tidbit... TIL. Newborn babies of both sexes can occasionally produce milk. This is called neonatal milk (also as "witch's milk") and not considered male lactation.

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 2 days ago

I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?

[-] Krauerking@lemy.lol 13 points 2 days ago

Yeah, I always hate when people ask why men have nipples.

Its so you can fucking breast feed, Greg! Just cause you aren't doesnt make them useless, your body wanted the option, your shame about not taking advantage of that has nothing on biology.

[-] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago

So in theory, someone could actually milk me?

[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 37 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Anon, both you and your dad are probably autistic.

[-] Paradachshund@lemmy.today 43 points 3 days ago

I know someone who this actually happened to! They're a vet and some woman came in saying her male cat had bugs stuck to him. When told they were nipples this woman literally said the same thing. 🤦‍♂️

[-] Nangijala@feddit.dk 35 points 3 days ago

Just wait till he learns that the clitoris is a micro penis and that those folds women have, are the prelude to testicles.

We are all sexless creatures that could go either way and depending on the sperm, we become man or woman.

[-] PixTupy@lemmy.ml 22 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I'd say the penis is an engorged clit. But I guess it's a perspective thing.

[-] MonsterCity7732@sh.itjust.works 15 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Your perspective is more correct, because it starts out tiny and gets bigger. Clitoris is the default.

[-] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 18 points 3 days ago

when does it get bigger? almost 40years and I'm still waiting

[-] GameOverFlow@lemmy.zip 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Check your spam folder

[-] MonsterCity7732@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

It only grows due to testosterone exposure during pre-natal development. It can grow a little bit in AFAB individuals who take testosterone but if you're AMAB and it's fully developed it's as big as it'll get for you.

[-] D_C@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 days ago

Have you ever thought about anything erotic, such as rhubarb?

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[-] Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 1 day ago

I’d say the penis is an engorged clit. But I guess it’s a perspective thing.

Probably a better way to look at it - barring specific hormonal triggers the parts that develop into genitals develop female structures by default. It's why people with CAIS always appear female regardless of genes unless you do some imaging and notice their "ovaries" look off.

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[-] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 23 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Do male mice have nipples? Why?


That was my take-home open-book exam from a somewhat eccentric developmental biology professor back when I was in college. I remember that the answer is no (although they still have mammary tissue and can get breast cancer) but not why.

[-] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago

Apparently male horses also do not have nipples. I learned that just now when I was searching for "male mice nipples". TIL. I hope no one ever finds my search history.

[-] SGforce@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 days ago

They would probably rub on the ground

[-] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

Or, or, the male horses with nipples spent too much time poking their own nipples with their penis for sexual stimulation and it means they removed themselves from the gene pool.

This means male horses selected for less and less prominent nipples until they became completely flat chested.

[-] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 days ago

I like the way you think.

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this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2026
674 points (99.4% liked)

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