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[-] dipshit@lemmy.world 45 points 10 months ago

A bit of advance for those who want very loud shits: get your ass crack waxed. I’m not even joking here, you will gain godlike powers in public restrooms. Consider for a moment how loud you can clap your hands. Now consider how much quieter your clap would be if your hands were covered in hair. I was dating an aesthetician once who waxed my ass after a boyzillian. My shits reverberated the corporate bathroom until the hair grew back in.

[-] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 22 points 10 months ago

Couple the shaved ass with a diet consisting exclusively of beans, cabbage, broccoli, and soft cheeses and baby you got a category 5 ass-tastrophy brewing

[-] dipshit@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago
[-] Grass@sh.itjust.works 8 points 10 months ago

PuPLAPPLAPPLAPPLAPPLAP sploosh

[-] dipshit@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

Onomatopoopia

[-] Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca 6 points 10 months ago

Next time I'm in a public bathroom and someone's super loud, I'm totally saying outloud 'someome shaves their anus' before leaving.

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 11 points 10 months ago

I hate everything about this.

[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 13 points 10 months ago

I don't know, "Frighteningly sudden" has a certain magic to it.

[-] occhionaut@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

I want it to startle me awake like a dozing dog

[-] clubb@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I love everything about this.

[-] robdor@lemmynsfw.com 8 points 10 months ago

For every one you don't buy I will buy 10.

[-] PrunesMakeYouPoop@kbin.social 7 points 10 months ago

Demolition edition? I'ma need SIX seashells for this.

[-] bighatchester@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

I thought this was a legit ad at first. I do get a couple ads using sync for Lemmy

[-] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

You may want to switch your client then. I can recommend voyager, it is based on Apollo for reddit. Have yet to see an actual ad (discounting actual posts by OF sellers and the occasional LLM wall of text with a link)

[-] bighatchester@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

I don't mind the ads it's one every 20-30 posts and they are easy to just scroll on by .

[-] troyunrau@lemmy.ca 3 points 10 months ago

Outer Worlds 2 writing team here. You're hired!

this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2024
554 points (98.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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