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[-] ped_xing@hexbear.net 152 points 7 months ago

If I were a driver, I'd simply keep my automobile on land.

[-] Tabitha@hexbear.net 71 points 7 months ago

People who've never seen a pond in their rear view mirror don't understand the struggle obama-sad

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 67 points 7 months ago

mixed up her wets and her dries, rookie mistake

you'd think a shipping mogul would know better

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[-] Comp4@hexbear.net 141 points 7 months ago
[-] supafuzz@hexbear.net 53 points 7 months ago
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[-] supafuzz@hexbear.net 137 points 7 months ago

Never get in a helicopter, small plane, or Tesla brace-cowboy

[-] LibsEatPoop@hexbear.net 81 points 7 months ago

Don't forget the submarine controlled by a discount Xbox controller.

[-] YourMom@hexbear.net 61 points 7 months ago

Always felt bad for the kid that was afraid of going in the sub and his fuckin dad pressured the shit out of him into doing it

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[-] Demoncracy@lemmygrad.ml 130 points 7 months ago

Hexbear reactions to such events are honestly so refreshing. Keeping me sane.

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 79 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)
[-] Demoncracy@lemmygrad.ml 58 points 7 months ago
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[-] AlicePraxis@hexbear.net 117 points 7 months ago

tragically drowned

debatable

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[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 112 points 7 months ago

Curious. I backed my car up earlier and it was super easy. Didn't drown, didn't need to break a window to save myself. Maybe I'm just infinitely smarter.

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 66 points 7 months ago

if you're smarter then why aren't you a billionaire smuglord

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 63 points 7 months ago

Because I'm too busy thinking of ways to not drown in a pond.

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[-] anaesidemus@hexbear.net 103 points 7 months ago

billionaire shipping industry CEO, tragically drowned in a pond

tragically???

fuckin-deserve porky-scared

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[-] Elon_Musk@hexbear.net 99 points 7 months ago

one fire department crew arrived on the scene 24 minutes after getting a call.

So she was already long dead

Efforts to resuscitate Chao began immediately with paramedics attempting to revive her for 43 minutes.

Only billionaires get this treatment

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[-] MorelaakIsBack@hexbear.net 88 points 7 months ago

capitalists will sell ~~you the rope you'll hang them with~~ themselves the tesla they'll drown themselves in

[-] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 84 points 7 months ago

I know someone died but it's a capitalist in a bazingamobile, I can't help but laugh michael-laugh

[-] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 83 points 7 months ago

This makes 6 billionaires in the past year who were killed by water. Has Poseidon joined the cause of the proletariat?

[-] huf@hexbear.net 57 points 7 months ago

how could you doubt it after the orca attacks?

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[-] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 82 points 7 months ago
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[-] ClimateChangeAnxiety@hexbear.net 81 points 7 months ago

I’m laughing about this like rocz-yes laughed when Ruth Bader Ginsburg died

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[-] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 79 points 7 months ago
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[-] Mokey@hexbear.net 79 points 7 months ago
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[-] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 78 points 7 months ago

The existence of the Cybertruck window demonstration video makes this whole thing extra hilarious. Not strong enough to serve a purpose, just strong enough to kill.

Though I will say, that had to be an awful experience for the firefighters or whoever was trying to rescue her, I hope they get some compensation from billionaire-tears

[-] IMF_DOOM@hexbear.net 90 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

laughing my ass off at this comment lol, aged like a fine wine

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[-] artificialset@hexbear.net 76 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

ahaha sometimes things just really line up well and make you smile

see ya packwatch

[-] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 76 points 7 months ago

So you're telling me that Musk has ruined Twitter and contributed to the death of a billionaire with political ties? I'm supposed to hate this guy??

[-] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 58 points 7 months ago

He’s waging a protracted CEO’s war against the ruling class after reading Marx and we were too stupid to see. Trust the plan. Patriots are in control

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[-] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 74 points 7 months ago

uncritical support to comrade pond

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[-] asg101@hexbear.net 69 points 7 months ago

It sure would be sad if they all killed themselves before we got the gui set up.

[-] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 55 points 7 months ago

The capitalists will sell each other the rope with which they will accidentally hang themselves.

[-] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 67 points 7 months ago

lol:

But details of how Chao's Tesla ended up in the pond have not yet been divulged by authorities, leading some people, including J. Kyle Bass, a prominent hedge fund manager and founder of Texas-based Hayman Capital Management, to question if the Tesla was hacked.

"Does the Blanco County Sheriff have the technical capacity to investigate the Tesla logs to determine if the car was tampered with or even hacked?" Bass wrote on X. "This case continues to become more and more suspicious."

[-] Elon_Musk@hexbear.net 57 points 7 months ago

Authorities said she may have drowned when her Tesla submerged into a pond.

Interesting

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[-] TheLepidopterists@hexbear.net 66 points 7 months ago
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[-] Rojo27@hexbear.net 65 points 7 months ago

Billionaire on billionaire violence, you love to see it.

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[-] D61@hexbear.net 64 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Angela: "Tesla AI self driving mode."

Tesla Car Voice: "Destination"

Angela: "I'm feeling lucky, pick a random location."

Tesla Car Voice:

spoiler"Davey Jones' Locker selected, starting now"

data-laughing

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[-] LibsEatPoop@hexbear.net 62 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

LMAO FUCKING BASED.

LETS GOOOOOOOO

Edit - Look at the cope in the replies.

Edit 2 - THERE IS A R/CONSPIRACY THREAD With 100s of comments.

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 53 points 7 months ago

lmfao the dorks in the conspiracy thread saying this wouldn't have happened if she was armed, obviously the jews took away her window shooting out gun, smdh

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[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 62 points 7 months ago

Accidently put in reverse steering-device

Glass nearly impossible to break underwater sicko-orca

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[-] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 62 points 7 months ago

At least she died doing what she loved. I assume she loved drowning.

[-] buh@hexbear.net 61 points 7 months ago

>fortune "earned" from moving objects over water

>

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[-] Egon@hexbear.net 59 points 7 months ago

I'm not really sorry, it sounds horrific but she was who she was...

Honestly it sounds like a scene out of a 00's Ben Stiller comedy. It sounds like a deleted scene from Zoolander. All his friends died except for one, who then put his car in reverse and slowly drowned in a pond.
The fact that they call it a pond even! Not a lake, that would be too big. She drowned in a fucking pond! There's about three carps that will feast on her for years to come.

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[-] nightshade@hexbear.net 59 points 7 months ago

It really is crazy how American view their cars as personal tanks protecting them against other drivers which leads to them trying to make cars indestructible, forgetting that insufficient cushioning for the squishy human inside is much, much more likely to kill them.

Also they need bulletproof glass to protect them from the "criminals", which is why a less car-centric society is a completely terrifying prospect. But at the same time they also believe that we shouldn't reduce the number of guns in the country and everyone should be armed to the teeth at all times.

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[-] medium_adult_son@hexbear.net 57 points 7 months ago

If I had a billion dollars I would simply never drive myself, and I would not ride in a Tesla. It's the same car that techbros drive and has a subpar safety record.

A lot of celebrities used to drive Priuses as the eco-friendly choice back when it was new, and I didn't read anything about them dying in crashes. But Priuses don't have the acceleration of a drag racer or quality control problems.

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[-] Hestia@hexbear.net 54 points 7 months ago

I love how everything about the tesla breaks easily EXCEPT the thing that should break easily.

[-] ZoomeristLeninist@hexbear.net 54 points 7 months ago

double W. billionaire eats it and tesla prob gets major lawsuit

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[-] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 54 points 7 months ago

Never have i ever seen something so cathartically comedic

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[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 54 points 7 months ago

Killed by the same lack of regulations and oversight that probably made her rich lmao

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this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2024
342 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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