If I were a driver, I'd simply keep my automobile on land.

Never get in a helicopter, small plane, or Tesla

Hexbear reactions to such events are honestly so refreshing. Keeping me sane.

tragically drowned

debatable

Curious. I backed my car up earlier and it was super easy. Didn't drown, didn't need to break a window to save myself. Maybe I'm just infinitely smarter.

billionaire shipping industry CEO, tragically drowned in a pond

tragically???

one fire department crew arrived on the scene 24 minutes after getting a call.

So she was already long dead

Efforts to resuscitate Chao began immediately with paramedics attempting to revive her for 43 minutes.

Only billionaires get this treatment

capitalists will sell ~~you the rope you'll hang them with~~ themselves the tesla they'll drown themselves in

I know someone died but it's a capitalist in a bazingamobile, I can't help but laugh

This makes 6 billionaires in the past year who were killed by water. Has Poseidon joined the cause of the proletariat?

Vaxxed?

I’m laughing about this like laughed when Ruth Bader Ginsburg died

Angela Ciao

Critical support

The existence of the Cybertruck window demonstration video makes this whole thing extra hilarious. Not strong enough to serve a purpose, just strong enough to kill.

Though I will say, that had to be an awful experience for the firefighters or whoever was trying to rescue her, I hope they get some compensation from

ahaha sometimes things just really line up well and make you smile

see ya

So you're telling me that Musk has ruined Twitter and contributed to the death of a billionaire with political ties? I'm supposed to hate this guy??

uncritical support to comrade pond

It sure would be sad if they all killed themselves before we got the set up.

lol:

But details of how Chao's Tesla ended up in the pond have not yet been divulged by authorities, leading some people, including J. Kyle Bass, a prominent hedge fund manager and founder of Texas-based Hayman Capital Management, to question if the Tesla was hacked.

"Does the Blanco County Sheriff have the technical capacity to investigate the Tesla logs to determine if the car was tampered with or even hacked?" Bass wrote on X. "This case continues to become more and more suspicious."

tragically

Billionaire on billionaire violence, you love to see it.

Angela: "Tesla AI self driving mode."

Tesla Car Voice: "Destination"

Angela: "I'm feeling lucky, pick a random location."

Tesla Car Voice:

Accidently put in reverse

Glass nearly impossible to break underwater

LMAO FUCKING BASED.

LETS GOOOOOOOO

Edit - Look at the cope in the replies.

Edit 2 - THERE IS A R/CONSPIRACY THREAD With 100s of comments.

At least she died doing what she loved. I assume she loved drowning.

>fortune "earned" from moving objects over water

>

I'm not really sorry, it sounds horrific but she was who she was...

Honestly it sounds like a scene out of a 00's Ben Stiller comedy. It sounds like a deleted scene from Zoolander. All his friends died except for one, who then put his car in reverse and slowly drowned in a pond.
The fact that they call it a pond even! Not a lake, that would be too big. She drowned in a fucking pond! There's about three carps that will feast on her for years to come.

It really is crazy how American view their cars as personal tanks protecting them against other drivers which leads to them trying to make cars indestructible, forgetting that insufficient cushioning for the squishy human inside is much, much more likely to kill them.

Also they need bulletproof glass to protect them from the "criminals", which is why a less car-centric society is a completely terrifying prospect. But at the same time they also believe that we shouldn't reduce the number of guns in the country and everyone should be armed to the teeth at all times.

If I had a billion dollars I would simply never drive myself, and I would not ride in a Tesla. It's the same car that techbros drive and has a subpar safety record.

A lot of celebrities used to drive Priuses as the eco-friendly choice back when it was new, and I didn't read anything about them dying in crashes. But Priuses don't have the acceleration of a drag racer or quality control problems.

I love how everything about the tesla breaks easily EXCEPT the thing that should break easily.

Killed by the same lack of regulations and oversight that probably made her rich lmao

double W. billionaire eats it and tesla prob gets major lawsuit

Never have i ever seen something so cathartically comedic