Blow some cannabis smoke in my face and point me in the direction of a comfortable chair. Now it’s a chill hangout session, not a boss fight. But you still win.

Completion reward: let’s share some pretzels

Ask me about something I'm above average knowledged about that I'm also interested in, and then you can disarm the bomb, save the pricess, destroy my entire species before I'm done oversharing the introductory part or even its preface.

Bring as many npcs in the room as possible; then wait for the social anxiety to make me lock up

Whistle any 70s rock song melody

Ask nicely if they can scooch past. Id be mortified that I was in the way at all.

They'd probably handle me the same way as the fish boss in Earthworm Jim. Just one smack to the face and I'm done. That's all it takes.

Shares a granola bar full of peanuts and lies and tells me there's no peanuts in it. RIP me.

idk probably like detaching my brain stem with a hammer or something

A look of disappointment and a sigh.

Steady, unrelenting emotional abuse.

By making me chase after them for more than 30 seconds. Just go ahead, I'll catch up later.

Wait out my timer or go around me.

Attack at dawn.

⚠️ wet floor ⚠️

I was driven mad by the unrelenting noises of society. The clamor, the insanity of humanity. The protagonistic figure decides a more peaceful option is adequate for my type of villainy and offers me quiet respite. A lovely cottage suitable for my hermit-like needs.

With this, I am at peace. I have a home. I have quiet. No quarrels with the world anymore

Subtly undermine my self-confidence.

Show me the error in my ways so I can learn from it, or transform me from bad to good.

Any way he choose. How would pick my as boss? That's a very bad move.

I dunno, but you can skip the boss fight if you bring me some nice food

Exploiting my hubris.

I actually wrote out an outline for this back when I was making small videogames as a hobby. I never actually made the game, which was probably overly ambitious, which is fitting because it was a game about ambition and hubris with me as the villains (multiverse shenanigans) and a pair of scrappy teenage sleuths as the protagonists.

Crouton Cannon
Glade Plugins

Distract me with food and drink.

Takes away my coffee

Cheese.

Either the edible kind or the repetitive-bullshit-but-it-works kind.

Probably shooting the chips from cutting a log with a chainsaw at my face. That’s gotten be at some point painful and extremely annoying.

Tell me they're going to meet me at like 5pm, and never show.

Intended method: three phase fight where the PC must break a magic shield before I get off a spell (DPS check). Breaking the shield releases a shockwave which either needs to be dodged or cancelled by an optional item (magic earmuffs). Failure to break the shield fails the fight, sends them to the room before (fuck you watch the whole cutscenes again)

Pacifist method: compliment me a couple of times and I won't know what to do with myself. I teleport away, leaving the key

Laugh at me and say I’m stupid.

I'm not an incompetent fighter or anything. I assume it wouldn't be a chance encounter, though, and I'd probably be prepared. In that case, well, they'd definitely have their work cut out for them. Prepare to dodge bullets, and engage in hand-to-hand combat with someone who can take a good beating before giving up.

I'm exhausted easily in my current state, however. Anything more than a short close quarters fight will likely do me in. That is, importantly, assuming I don't use 💫drugs💫.

I'm gonna say donuts

Showing me a picture of your mother lmao gottem

Just start yelling at me and I'll probably shut down and cry.