582
top 37 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] superduperpirate@lemmy.world 62 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I totally didn’t see this somewhere and start writing it on the walls in middle school:

Those who write on shithouse walls

Roll their turds into little balls

Those who read these words of wit

Eat those little balls of shit

[-] fluxion@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago

I have some questions about the events being described here, but I think its best not to ask.

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 21 points 1 year ago

Too late, turd eater

[-] ceenote@lemmy.world 45 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I heard it as

"In days of old,

When knights were bold

And condoms weren't invented,

They put their socks upon their cocks

And babies were prevented."

[-] realitista@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yeah that's the one I know, though I think it sounds nicer with the wording I know:

"A sock was placed upon the cock, And babies were prevented"

[-] demizerone@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

The knights of old beat off into socks.

[-] AFreeLarryHoover@lemmy.world 43 points 1 year ago

Not enough doodle cocks & swastikas.

[-] Pantsofmagic@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

And that mobius strip style "S" thing

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 27 points 1 year ago

It's called the cool S. Be respectful

[-] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago
[-] poplargrove@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago
[-] OopsAllTwix@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 1 year ago

From a porta potty: Here I sit Tired and dirty Trying to hide Until 4:30

[-] Aviandelight@mander.xyz 10 points 1 year ago

Yea this one got a genuine laugh out of me. Poor soul.

[-] nailbar@sopuli.xyz 26 points 1 year ago

Here's some toilet poetry I read once:

Some come here too sit, think, and write on the walls. I come here too shit, stink, and scratch my hairy balls.

[-] froh42@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Wie Adolf Hitler throne ich hier, die braune Masse unter mir.

[-] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 23 points 1 year ago

public unisex bathroom: "our butts have touched <3"

[-] idunnololz@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago
[-] Num10ck@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

i used to fold a paper towel into a kind of bubble box and get it wet. then i'd throw it hard onto the ceiling where it would stick for about a minute. then i would wait for it to fall on someone coming in and i'd giggle for decades about it.

[-] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Here I sit, all broken-hearted

[-] nilaus@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

Thought I'd shit, but only farted

[-] dafungusamongus@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 1 year ago

Tried to shit, but only farted

[-] kmartburrito@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Then one day I took the chance

[-] superkret@feddit.org 4 points 1 year ago

Tried to piss, but my ass parted

[-] then_three_more@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Paid a penny, but only farted

[-] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago

..and the Shithouse Poet strikes again!

..and the ~~Shithouse~~ Latrine Poet strikes again!

They changed their name to "Latrine". Sometime in the 9th century I believe.

[-] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 2 points 1 year ago

It's a good change!

[-] rotkehle@feddit.org 10 points 1 year ago

in Germany it's the other way around.

[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 18 points 1 year ago

…the road lays a load upon you?

[-] superkret@feddit.org 5 points 1 year ago

Wie der Führer sitz ich hier
Die braunen Massen unter mir

[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 6 points 1 year ago

In diesem Klo da wohnt ein Geist, der jedem in die Eier beißt.

Mich hat er nicht gebissen, ich hab ihm auf den Kopf geschissen.

[-] superkret@feddit.org 3 points 1 year ago

Ich kenne das mit "In diesem Klo, da wohnt ein Geist, der jedem, der zu lange scheißt, von unten in die Eier beißt."

[-] froh42@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Am unteren Ende der Klowand, dort wo sie zum Durchwischen aufgeständert ist:

Vorsicht vor dem Limbotänzer!

[-] Rolive@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 year ago

We have a variant in Dutch.

In de pot zit een geit die graag in je kont bijt

Mij heeft hij niet gebeten want ik had op zijn kop gescheten.

[-] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago

This is estonia, speak estonian please.

[-] nifty@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

It’s the same person, they wrote on both walls

[-] mPony@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE SHITTER!!!

this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
582 points (96.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

33450 readers
2198 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS