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A loveseat with a baby-chair on the way.
Excuse me, but his book VERY CLEARLY said he used a rubber glove.
Or was he raw dogging another couch while he was cheating on his wife with the couch he definitely wrote about in his book? (Chapter 11, page 180.)
Sofa, I haven't read any clarifications on the matter. It seems like a story someone should chaise down
Here, take my up~~holstery~~vote.
Doesn’t require lofty Eames either.
you all are really chairing me up
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I don't blame him, that sextional has got a lot of cusion for the push-in.
That deserves at LEAST sensible chuckle.
Bravo.
No accidental pregnancies if you only fuck La-Z-Boys.
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That's what vetting is all about, you moron.
That said, I hope they also asked him when he wasn't around his wife.
I hope they didn’t, and that surprise is still yet to come
Sounds like somebody’s got a secret family
Yeah, that's a weird thing to make a press release about. Who tells the press that they were asked if they have a secret family? And why is the weird part, according to him, of this that he was asked with his wife present? I think the weirdest part of all this is that they thought that was weird. But actually, this whole thing is weird. Something about this is off. Weird af 😬
I mean it is sensible for them to ask about it. It is maybe a little foolish of them to do it in front of his wife.
The truly hilarious part about it is that he is so stupid that he thinks (a) it’s something unusual or personal to him, instead of just vetting of candidates like they always do (b) he thinks talking to the media about it is a productive way to react to that perceived unusualness.
All I can do is look upon the GOP and smile and encourage. “Good… good… let the stupidity and incompetence flow through you.”
My "I don't have a secret family" t-shirt has people asking a lot of questions that are already answered by my shirt.
Who tells the press?
A guy who wants his secret wife to find out from the press why he's not keeping tonight's secret date, since he can't call or text her.
He was asked by his Mamaw if he wanted to suck dicks. Unfortunately he was too weird to learn from Mamaw
"I'll never forget the time I convinced myself that I was gay. I was eight or nine, maybe younger, and I stumbled upon a broadcast by some fire-and-brimstone preacher. The man spoke about the evils of homosexuals, how they had infiltrated our society, and how they were all destined for hell absent some serious repenting. At the time, the only thing I knew about gay men was that they preferred men to women. This described me perfectly: I disliked girls, and my best friend in the world was my buddy Bill. Oh no, I'm going to hell."
When he brought up the issue with his grandmother — known to Vance as "Mamaw" — she replied bluntly: "Don't be a fucking idiot, how would you know that you're gay?"
When Vance explained his reasoning, she laughed.
"JD, do you want to suck dicks?" she said, according to the book.
The young Vance, apparently "flabbergasted," said: "Of course not!"
"Then you're not gay. And even if you did want to suck dicks, that would be okay," she replied. "God would still love you."
Based Mamaw Vance. If only he was more like her.
If only
The dude didn't convince himself he was gay. The dude convinced himself that he convinced himself he was gay. To keep it going, he is now trying to convince the public that he convinced himself. "If everyone believes it, it must be true." He is gay af because he not only remembered that experience, but wrote about it in a book.
To JD Vance:
Come on, bro. Just be gay. Like for real. You're wasting your life and your wife's life with the charade. Y'all could be having awesome sex instead of pretending. If you're still resistant, fine. Just try it once to prove you don't like it. It's just once. You'll probably cum too fast to get it over with and then you can say you didn't like it or take a 5 min break and do it again to make sure. Haha. Omg, that would be crazy, right?
Don't be exclusionary, he might be bi and only want dicks as a sometimes treat.
He is having awesome sex. I'm sure that Peter Thiel uses his throat goat regularly.
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I had to actually check that this was real. Mamaw seems like she was a decent person. What the fuck happened to him?
He is just too weird to be decent
I don't think that's it, there's plenty of decent weirdos out there.
The ottoman looked studiously away.
Footstool: "Daddy!!!"
JD:
“You’re not my real stool! You’re just a stepstool!”
Would he have answered differently if his wife wasn't present?
I said above that would I hope for their sake that it was both and here is why... if you ask him in private, he might say yes or no whether or not that's true. If you ask him in front of his wife, you can gauge her reaction to his answer. If he says no and they notice she reacts to that in even a way that shows she is doubting his answer, they should notice. Whether there was something to notice and they noticed it, I don't know.
Lawyer: do you have any secret family?
Vance: no
Wife: pulls out controller and presses X
From the article:
"Oh, by the way, if I did, I'm not going to admit it in front of my wife," Vance said, laughing.
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Regardless, I wouldn't consider an answer to that as dependable with his wife present. Similarly if a doctor is asking about sexual activity, I wouldn't expect them to ask in front of their SO.
If you want an honest answer, make sure it's in confidence.
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Oh no! It seems like he couldn't answer this question truthfully with his wife present. Now, a secret family isn't so secret anymore if you tell your wife about it, is it?!
So what was his answer?
JD Vance, most likely: "So Usha's not white, but she probably still wouldn't like that."
Did they ask him in front of his normal wife or his secret wife?
Why is he complaining about the fact that his wife was present when he was asked? Surely it would only be a problem if he did. The fact he's complaining about it kind of raises a red flag.
Boo-fuckin'-hoo. It's still less invasive than an actual TS clearance investigation.
Y'all opened the floodgates for weird, absurd conversations. Blame yourselves, again .
Guy: dude don't ask about Emily and the kids in front of my wife, wtf is wrong with you?
Breaking: shitpost from someone claiming to be JD Vance secret son and wife goes viral. AP removes fact checked article claiming JD Vance does not have a secret family
How could a human have a child with living room furniture? Secret son shitpost is stupid.
Was the correct answer yes? Judging from Trump's standard, it wouldn't surprise me.
It’s a thing the GOP doesn’t need to worry about since this idiot was elected as my local borough president after having been caught with a secret second family years ago
https://theweek.com/articles/514736/fossella-family-man-two-families
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this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2024
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