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[-] 2Password2Remember@hexbear.net 73 points 1 month ago

"the elon musk of squirrels" is such a terminally online thing to say. imagine having the power and influence that jd vance has and still being addicted to twitter or w/e. beyond pathetic

Death to America

[-] HelluvaBottomCarter@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago

Imagining all the other squirrels being glad he's dead.

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[-] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 62 points 1 month ago

The squirrel shit really does have a deathrattle feel to it

Goddamn this election has been watching the Washington Generals playing the Washington Generals

[-] CthulhusIntern@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago

This should've been the easiest election ever. For both sides.

[-] Weedian@hexbear.net 45 points 1 month ago
[-] adultswim_antifa@hexbear.net 44 points 1 month ago

On a serious note, police shoot approximately 25 pet dogs every day and it's nice that the rabid cop party (the other is also a cop party but isn't rabid) is grieving this one particular squirrel.

[-] HelltakerHomosexual@hexbear.net 39 points 1 month ago

i have no idea what the fuck is going on anymore

[-] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 38 points 1 month ago

Mr animal control, sir, elon musk bit me.

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[-] GoodGuyWithACat@hexbear.net 37 points 1 month ago

Does he really use eye shadow because it looks like he does.

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 28 points 1 month ago

it's fuckin gotta be, I've got a similar heavy brow and eyelids and they don't shade the corners like that at all

[-] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago

Yeah, chuds deflect by saying it's his eyelids, but it's got to be guyliner.

[-] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago

Delta force grade tactical guyliner 9000

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[-] culpritus@hexbear.net 32 points 1 month ago

No P'nut November is the October Surprise that is hyper gooning the electorate!

matt-grillin

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[-] RedWizard@hexbear.net 29 points 1 month ago
[-] EllenKelly@hexbear.net 30 points 1 month ago

some guy had a pet squirrel, was posting about it to get famous on instagram, the state found out and the squirrel was put down.

Another great example as to why, if you're breaking the law, don't post about it online, no matter how silly or unenforced the law is. Not that I break the law.

[-] RedWizard@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago

jesse-wtf what does this have to do with trump...

[-] Sulvor@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago

I think it was in New York, so just a continuation of ‘they’re killing your pets’

[-] jaywalker@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

only a democrat would have your pet squirrel killed

[-] EllenKelly@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

maybe he's promised rodents in every household

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[-] Fontasia@feddit.nl 26 points 1 month ago

Remember, if they did intervene, the line would be that Democrats are are soft on policing

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Peanut, Peanut, oh Peanut, we loved you so much! [crowd cheers] Yes we did, yes we did! Ah, it's a shame what they did to him. Killed him for being MAGA, can you believe it? [crowd boos] The lyin' cheatin' democrats killed a patriotic squirrel for voting for me. But we're going to get even [crowd cheers] oh yes we are! Oh yes we are! I have 2,000 heavily trained squirrels in garbage bags marching onto DC as we speak. Crooked Joe won't be able to deal with that, you know, he's so crooked and he hates critters unlike me I love them, I love them dearly a-little-trolling


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[-] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 25 points 1 month ago

peanut is dead??? what the fuck...

[-] Kuori@hexbear.net 32 points 1 month ago

two shots to the back of the head, body found dumped in a suitcase

classic couldn't take the heat

[-] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

wow. i didn’t know that. i just — you’re telling me now for the first time...
he led an amazing life. what else can you say? he was an amazing squirrel. whether you store acorns or not, he was an amazing critter who led an amazing life. i’m actually saddened to hear that. i am saddened to hear that.

[-] plinky@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago

So either the squirrel or dipshit comedian will decide election, 10/10

[-] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago

Isn't the owner an OF model? Doesn't that mean they should be for the squirrel being murdered? I think they're getting their wires crossed.

Also, I hate that I now know about this

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 34 points 1 month ago

Isn't the owner an OF model?

Yeap. I had a look at the Wikipedia page about an hour ago.

Peanut (squirrel)

Controversy

Longo ran an OnlyFans account under the username "@squirrel_daddy", where he called himself "Peanut's dad" and produced pornography. Peanut the squirrel's social media following was used to draw viewers to Longo's OnlyFans account, drawing in $800,000 over one month.

[-] CommunistBear@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago

$800,000 over one month.

I really need a new job

[-] carpoftruth@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago

peanut is a plant(er) heyooo

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[-] Rojo27@hexbear.net 33 points 1 month ago

I think the only reason they care is because they can point at a blue state and say "look at the government overreach!"squidward-scream-point

[-] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 28 points 1 month ago

Which is still so weird because... yeah? We know? We (which in their mind includes Dems) were the ones burning down police precincts, what has the Republican party ever done to reduce the power cops have?

[-] Rojo27@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago

For sure. Just comes down to if my team does it its OK. If the other team does it they're being tyrants.

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[-] rootsbreadandmakka@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago

Cop kills a squirrel - government overreach

Cops kill thousands of dogs each year - freedom

I don’t think the squirrel should’ve been killed but I hate these goddamn culture wars

[-] Pili@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago

Is that real? I'm completely clueless about that squirrel story.

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[-] Barabas@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago

Elon Musk of squirrels sicko-wistful

I can only wish that he follows the example of his rodent brother.

[-] RION@hexbear.net 22 points 1 month ago
[-] Weedian@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago

lol whos the dork with epaulettes in the back

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

Mr. Creepy is creepy. I wonder if he gave himself a title like Major General Mr. Creepy.

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[-] Rojo27@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

When he puts it like that... Deserved.

[-] Posadas@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago

Mr. Peanut 100% rabies confirmed

[-] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 18 points 1 month ago

Every single quote from Vance is easily the dumbest thing I've heard that day.

[-] Kuori@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

parody of a parody of a parody

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[-] Speaker@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

When Peanut the squirrel came to the White House asking me for help on all of his winter food gathering, whether it's walnuts that don't last long enough, bird seed stolen from the yard, or a newspaper clipping with a picture of a peanut on it, without which subsidies he'd be worthless, and telling me how he was a big Trump fan and Republican, I could have said "drop to your knees and beg", and he would have done it...

[-] Beaver@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

Harambe in 2016, peanut in 2024

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[-] Comrade_Mushroom@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

I'm so tired

[-] Hestia@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

the Elon musk of squirrels

Good riddance then.

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this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2024
146 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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