show transcript
lastfmuser
imagine if people still took last names from their trade like fisher, smith and fletcher. imagine some guy introducing himself to you as jonathan podcaster
scribblestheunicorn
It’s him,,,
Ted Talker
Oh, you guys are thinking small.
Peter Executive (a vassal of Andy CEO). Mary Anesthesiologist. Alice S. Theorist. William Credit Authorizer. James M. Researcher.
The worst part is that, fun as this is, I'm having flashbacks of every time I've said something along the lines of "Matt from HR" and realizing that's how that has always worked.
Renouned negotiator Matt Fromeichar
"The prefix "from" is how you know a family comes from the old middle class. Rich families used "the", as in "Jane TheCeo or Peter TheChairman."
"Working class families just don't get a prefix. That's why there are so many James Burgerkings out there".
That's how I always refer to my sysadmin colleagues when talking to others. Chris and Steve Classrooms, Bill Proxmox (née Vmware), and I'm Jack Networks-Linux. Not real names of course.
David Searchengineoptimizer, Mary Marykaycosmeticssales, Oleg Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer.
Nobody thought Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer would be a good governor of California, but he ended up being more moderate than expected.
No one at school was picked on more than Timmy OnlyFans.
That's why he started going by Timothy Olyphant in stead.
Oh, like Timothy Chaturbate/Chalamet?
Or the endboss of funny names: Syphilis Snugglesnatch, oh I mean Bumbleshack Calldispatch, oh I mean Benadryl Lumberjack, ...
We all remember Scam Bankrupt Fraud, right?
yea wasn't he the guy from FTX?
Yeah, the guy who never got out of Bronze in LOL.
To be fair, I never even got INTO bronze in LOL 🤷
Peter Unemployed.
Shameless pluck for "Qualityland" by Mark-Uwe Kling.
Look at me, I'm Bobby SitAtMyConputerAllDayAndAgeRapidly
Finally an accurate description for Jessica Fullstack Developer.
Does he wear socks?
No. Jessica Fullstack Developer is also opposed to pants (religious requirement).
Just ask Tim Apple how that feels.
one of the podcasts i listen to made a joke about Tim Onion buying Infowars and i am still cracking up over it.
also I'm super upset that someone already took the handle tim_apple on everything😤
It's getting harder to discern reality from satire, but Tim Onion has actually been The Onion's CEO's name^*^ ever since he bought that job. And he is trying to buy InfoWars. (And the company formerly known as Twitter has joined Jones' fight to prevent it.)
^*^(his bluesky display name, at least)
Etymology nerd on YouTube has a video on this! It's basically how we put people in our phones now, such as Alex (neighbor) and Alex (work), two names I actually have saved in my phone. They're more based on relationship than occupation now.
Edit: (neighbor) not (phone)
That makes sense considering in the past knowing who your town's baker or other role was mattered. Now a days you don't really know the names of the people you get food and things from so it's shifted now to more relationship based.
Dolores del BullshitJob. Or Lola Shitposta.
Dick Doctor Patrick Porn Star Caroline Creator Dan Designer Evan Entertainment Ian Importer Tim Apple
“Sup, I’m Lance Crypto!”
Ohh no look out, it's Tim Moderator
María Tiktoker
John Uberdriver
Sam Gamereviewer
Shorten them and it works
Maria Toker
John Uber
Sam Vèiwer
Hi my name is Colin Support
Kailey Influencer
🤮
Influencer isn't a trade name and it will never be, Kailey Advertiser.
I'd be Jimbo Bomber.
A lot cooler sounding than my real name.
I'm an industrial radiographer and usually called bombers.
In the case of coppers it would be pretty convenient since they all go by their surname so they would all be, "Officer Pig", "Sergeant Pig", "Inspector Pig", "Detective Pig"
Please see the excellent book "Jennifer Government" for a prescient look at where things are heading.
can someone help me make "janitor" sound like a fancy French name pls
The Management clan is huge.
And in 2027 there was a mass culling of the Private-Equity clan, when the revolution declared the entire family outlaw and they were hunted to the last junior.
It was ordained that the name of Private-Equity should be altogether abolished, and that the whole persons of that clan should renounce their name and take them some other name, and that they nor none of their posterity should call themselves Private-Equity or Investor under pain of death
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