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thanks for coming to my rule (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone

show transcriptlastfmuser
imagine if people still took last names from their trade like fisher, smith and fletcher. imagine some guy introducing himself to you as jonathan podcaster

scribblestheunicorn
It’s him,,,

Ted Talker

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[-] MudMan@fedia.io 81 points 3 days ago

Oh, you guys are thinking small.

Peter Executive (a vassal of Andy CEO). Mary Anesthesiologist. Alice S. Theorist. William Credit Authorizer. James M. Researcher.

The worst part is that, fun as this is, I'm having flashbacks of every time I've said something along the lines of "Matt from HR" and realizing that's how that has always worked.

[-] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 39 points 3 days ago

Renouned negotiator Matt Fromeichar

[-] MudMan@fedia.io 35 points 3 days ago

"The prefix "from" is how you know a family comes from the old middle class. Rich families used "the", as in "Jane TheCeo or Peter TheChairman."

"Working class families just don't get a prefix. That's why there are so many James Burgerkings out there".

[-] spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 days ago

I see Jack TheRipper in a whole new light now

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[-] rtxn@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago

That's how I always refer to my sysadmin colleagues when talking to others. Chris and Steve Classrooms, Bill Proxmox (née Vmware), and I'm Jack Networks-Linux. Not real names of course.

[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 days ago

David Searchengineoptimizer, Mary Marykaycosmeticssales, Oleg Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer.

[-] MudMan@fedia.io 5 points 3 days ago

Nobody thought Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer would be a good governor of California, but he ended up being more moderate than expected.

[-] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 54 points 3 days ago

No one at school was picked on more than Timmy OnlyFans.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago

That's why he started going by Timothy Olyphant in stead.

[-] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Oh, like Timothy Chaturbate/Chalamet?

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[-] rtxn@lemmy.world 47 points 3 days ago

We all remember Scam Bankrupt Fraud, right?

[-] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 3 days ago

yea wasn't he the guy from FTX?

[-] rtxn@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago

Yeah, the guy who never got out of Bronze in LOL.

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[-] 5oap10116@lemmy.world 34 points 3 days ago

Look at me, I'm Bobby SitAtMyConputerAllDayAndAgeRapidly

[-] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 3 days ago

We call him Little Bobby Tables.

[-] BatrickPateman@lemmy.world 36 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Peter Unemployed.

Shameless pluck for "Qualityland" by Mark-Uwe Kling.

Really enjoyed that (audio) book recently. Nothing really new but well told and an easy listen

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[-] Gork@lemm.ee 32 points 3 days ago

Finally an accurate description for Jessica Fullstack Developer.

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[-] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Elon Nepobabyoligarchson.

[-] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Etymology nerd on YouTube has a video on this! It's basically how we put people in our phones now, such as Alex (neighbor) and Alex (work), two names I actually have saved in my phone. They're more based on relationship than occupation now.

Edit: (neighbor) not (phone)

[-] WarlordSdocy@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

That makes sense considering in the past knowing who your town's baker or other role was mattered. Now a days you don't really know the names of the people you get food and things from so it's shifted now to more relationship based.

[-] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Especially, since you may not know their last name if it's a casual relationship.

[-] Seasm0ke@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

Hi my name is Colin Support

[-] hperrin@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago

Just ask Tim Apple how that feels.

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[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 16 points 3 days ago

Imagine being the actual John Gamer.

[-] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 4 points 3 days ago

John Fallout

war doesnt change

[-] folekaule@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago

Hello, I am Bob Bugmaker, your software developer for this project.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

I'm Karl Projectmanager, and you're ruining my timelines

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[-] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

The names Trent, Trent Shippinrecieven.

[-] Mothra@mander.xyz 10 points 3 days ago

María Tiktoker

John Uberdriver

Sam Gamereviewer

[-] Event_Horizon@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

Shorten them and it works

Maria Toker

John Uber

Sam Vèiwer

[-] sicarius@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

I'd be Jimbo Bomber.
A lot cooler sounding than my real name.
I'm an industrial radiographer and usually called bombers.

[-] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 days ago

Dang it and I was hoping you were What Bombs At Midnight.

Surf's up, space ponies! I'm making gravy without the lumps!

[-] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 3 days ago

Dolores del BullshitJob. Or Lola Shitposta.

[-] StarlightDust@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 3 days ago

In the case of coppers it would be pretty convenient since they all go by their surname so they would all be, "Officer Pig", "Sergeant Pig", "Inspector Pig", "Detective Pig"

[-] Zier@fedia.io 11 points 3 days ago

Dick Doctor Patrick Porn Star Caroline Creator Dan Designer Evan Entertainment Ian Importer Tim Apple

[-] Annoyed_Crabby 11 points 3 days ago

Ohh no look out, it's Tim Moderator

[-] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

“Sup, I’m Lance Crypto!”

[-] tiramichu@lemm.ee 10 points 3 days ago
[-] Annoyed_Crabby 16 points 3 days ago

Influencer isn't a trade name and it will never be, Kailey Advertiser.

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[-] essell@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

Please see the excellent book "Jennifer Government" for a prescient look at where things are heading.

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[-] cheers_queers@lemm.ee 5 points 3 days ago

can someone help me make "janitor" sound like a fancy French name pls

[-] m0darn@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 days ago

Custodienne

[-] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 days ago

L’engienier du’sanitaccion

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[-] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 days ago

Jaques Concierge?

[-] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 days ago

The Management clan is huge.

And in 2027 there was a mass culling of the Private-Equity clan, when the revolution declared the entire family outlaw and they were hunted to the last junior.

It was ordained that the name of Private-Equity should be altogether abolished, and that the whole persons of that clan should renounce their name and take them some other name, and that they nor none of their posterity should call themselves Private-Equity or Investor under pain of death

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this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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