571
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Currens_felis@lemmy.ml 74 points 1 year ago

Where do I become a holy fool?

[-] realitista@lemm.ee 36 points 1 year ago

Your local church

[-] Deadeyegai@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Right? Like does it come with good benefits and a 401k match too? I mean I'm already sold but the highwayman job is quite lacking in that space. Asking for a friend

Have you seen those televangelists? They make fucking bank.

[-] jayemar@lemm.ee 67 points 1 year ago

I didn't realize train robber was still an option

[-] Rakonat@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago

An entire life of shennigans and mischief wasted, I COULDA ROBBED TRAINS?!

[-] SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml 32 points 1 year ago

Also coulda been robbing banks with an avocado, but like me you've been mooching around like a goddamn chump....

[-] Emanuel@lemmy.eco.br 9 points 1 year ago

"All warfare is based […]"

[-] rostby@lemmy.fmhy.net 3 points 1 year ago

“Anything can be a weapon if you try hard enough”

[-] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Why do you think public transportation is popular with the youth?

[-] redballooon@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago

Well the goods have become larger and heavier, you'll probably need to kidnap the train before you can rob it.

[-] figaro@lemdro.id 6 points 1 year ago

I suppose I could utilize a larger train to kidnap the train

[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 year ago

It was never NOT an option.

We do still have trains, don't we?

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 50 points 1 year ago

"I wanna be TikTok when I grow up."

"You want to make content for TikTok?"

"No! I want to be the app!"

[-] Bread@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 year ago

It sounds stupid, but kids are stupid. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a police car. Not a cop, the car. Sometimes dreams need to stay dreams.

[-] jarfil@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Well, have you ever seen a police car break any laws? Your dream was great, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[-] Bread@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

I appreciate it, but I changed course and switched to IT. I grew up to be a server rack now and it has been great!

[-] Smokeydope@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Never give up on your dream, it might just be possible with enough cybernetics and plastic surgery! The future is now!

[-] Bread@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

I can't remember, but do the cars eat at any point? What do they eat?

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago
[-] pedro@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago
[-] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

As a young boy I dreamed of being a baseball.

[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 year ago

"I want children to be addicted to touching my body with their grubby little hands"

[-] Preciseid@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

A few Catholic priests, salivating, enters the chat.

[-] capy_bara@lemmy.world 49 points 1 year ago

Up yours, woke moralists! We'll see who cancels who

[-] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago

Cancellation incoming

[-] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 47 points 1 year ago

Just the stuff thats visible here is already more than 100% lol

[-] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 45 points 1 year ago

Which is why you don't see "mathematician" on the list.

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 27 points 1 year ago

Maybe some kids want multiple jobs

[-] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

No one wants two jobs, but the kids these days know they'll need it

[-] pedro@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Many kids would like to be a teacher on Monday, an astronaut on Tuesday, a veterinarian on Wednesday, ....

But I guess here the demographic is a little older than my example so it might not apply

[-] pizzahoe@lemm.ee 35 points 1 year ago

Woke moralist. The destroyer of Jordan Peterson.

[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 year ago

Pretty sure that was the benzos

[-] Fedizen@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Woke Moralists and Benzos handshake meme: Destroying Jordan Bitchass Peterson

[-] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Hey fellow kids! Who wants to be a woke moralist, amirite?

(e: I had a son, so I do believe the 11.9% train robber stat, tho)

[-] devdad@programming.dev 21 points 1 year ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] ZILtoid1991@kbin.social 21 points 1 year ago
[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago
[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 year ago
[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

I see. I never really got that thing. I guess I'm too old.

[-] PatFussy@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago

Real human bean

[-] virku@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

I guess my toddlers aren't main stream then. One wants to be a policefiremantruck and the other a snail tamer.

[-] turbowafflz@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Snail tamer sounds like an amazing job

[-] Thranduil@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Its very dangerous. A feral snail can be more deadly than the monthy python rabbit. The tend to be cool tho

[-] OpenHammer6677@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Dang those kids can spell Beaureaoucrat

this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2023
571 points (96.7% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26948 readers
1690 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS