46
First we mine, then we craft
(hexbear.net)
CHICKEN JOCKEY
whole theater cheered at that line 
Reminds me of when my partner wanted to go see the Five Nights at Freddy's movie and the girl says who her dad is and everyone in the theater was like 
Like, I knew who he was (i worked with kids for a long time, and I find them explaining things they like fascinating even if I don't like it myself) but my partner was like "Who the fuck is that? They didn't explain any of that!"
And that's when I realized that we will never get a good licensed movie ever again, because it's all going to be appealing to a demographic that's only going to see their blorbos say the shit that they know
Guilty confession: I never played Five Nights at Freddy's but I liked the movie. Deedy loves his slop
that's only going to see their blorbos say the shit that they know
thats exactly how i felt watching this movie. i told someone in another response but it was sorta surreal; the kids clapped, fucking LOUD, when someone said the meme or did the thing. No laughter of some sort, which is the typical human response, it was clapping.
I went with my kids and saw Freddys. That was my very first into to the franchise. I got that feeling thru that movie also but i attributed it to having to use the restroom unavoidably, i figured i missed something important while using the restroom.
The previews for minecrap were reboots, or sequels to something already. Just more crap rhat will do well commercially, but is as bland as salt free mashed potatoes.
And that’s when I realized that we will never get a good licensed movie ever again, because it’s all going to be appealing to a demographic that’s only going to see their blorbos say the shit that they know
I mean...that was basically every licensed movie back in the day already. The production values have certainly gone up, but they've never really changed from the "have random popular celebrity inexplicably in the lead role and have Mr. Catchphrase say the thing."
I just got back from it. Someone i recently did a favor for works at a theater and they repaid by giving me a couple free tix to whatever i wanted to go to. My kids didn't want to go at first, but i told them i wasnt paying, so let's just go.
The crowd cheered at that line here too, and the pig w the crown, and the chicken jockey, and some other crap too. Jack Black is a goddamn travesty.
The pig with the crown was the biggest reaction at my theater. People were crying.
I heard two or three shouts of 'technoooo' and one 'i love you techno' when the pig showed up.
The whole movie was just a giant facepalm for me. There was no crowd laughter from funny moments, which i mean there wasnt any, it was just like recognition of jack black saying the word, or the theatergoers seeing the meme.
Nobody threw stuff at the screen, or was hollering; the crowd was relatively well behaved. But they CLAPPED, and holy shit they clapped, when chicken jockey showed up. and when jackblack went to minecrap land the first time, and when he said the movie thing. And the pig w the crown thing. But otherwise nobody laughed like at a normal comedy or whatever.
It was really weird.
And there was no plot. Like, no plot. Some people move to Idaho, that was the only plot-like part of the story. It seemed written by AI as much as it was animated by AI.
It apparently had 28 writers. 28. Which probably explains why it is little more than a series of references to things. Some of those writers probably used AI, wouldn't surprise me.
It definitely explains the lack of flow
The children yearn for the mines
Brown bricks in minecrap
there's craft in them hills
this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2025
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