You mean BUILT IN CHOPSTICKS? Sign me up. I'm sure we'd adapt soon enough.
Whatever, you're just mad you can't stab people with your face
This is racist
Not our fault you can't use chopsticks. Imagine how much easier eating chips would be if you had opposable thumbs.
Beaks are chopsticks on your face.
Seriously I will not stand for this anti-bird slander. Birds are great
Sounds like a skill issue on your part. Have you ever seen a bird do things with their beaks? Their beaks are very clever and dexterous. Watch them preen their feathers! You couldn't do that with fingers.
and the beak is just for acquiring and shearing stuff, they chew their food in their tum tum with mechanical assistance from a bunch of grit and rocks in a pouch they contract against what they've swallowed, to mash it up.
I like to chew food in my mouth, tyvm, as the Lord Christ Almighty intended when he personally intelligently designed my unbeaked face.
Your mouth is a disgusting face sphincter
my mouth was modeled on the face sphincter of CHRIST.
suffer it's divine splendor
I could deal with the beak, but what about not being able to digest everything you eat and you gotta periodically cough up a turd.
sh-shut up 
Turd cougher 
take it back. all of gods creatures are perfect. a beak is as beautiful as a nice smile on a pretty face, as pleasing as balls so big they could serve as poop platters
A decent sized beak seems okay, there are tradeoffs but something like a parrot beak would be great. A fifth limb for climbing and holding things, plus you can rip and tear
It also grows so if you don’t have the proper diet it can get all out whack and overgrown so you can’t eat properly and then your quality of life is wrecked and in extreme cases you starve
To complicate the matter it’s not like a tooth, it’s more like a dog or cats nail in that it has blood vessels running through it, so if the above happens you can’t just trim it back haphazardly because then you might be seriously hurt or even killed
Owning birds is fucked up. Like a domesticated dog is one thing and still somewhat debatable philosophically but taking a bird that can literally fly, often lives 40-80 years (if we’re talking parrots), is a social animal by nature that typically exists in a flock, demands attention and stimulation for many hours of the day, and then putting it in a cage so you can like look at it is just inherently cruel. If I come to your house and you have a bird I judge you
Tbf you don't have to keep a pet bird alone in an undersized cage, I used to follow some people on tiktok that did wildlife rehab for crows, they had an aviary built into their screened-in patio with something like a dog door to the outside, they would introduce new injured crows into the group through the screen to keep them from fighting then gradually move them into the common area, let them adjust and recover then leave when they wanted, a decent amount of the crows just stayed and would follow them around their farm through the day being awesome little pals
Wildlife rehab is the exception to this, someone has to deal with all the birds that are sitting in some grandpas house right now, waiting to be abandoned at the spca by his children once he dies. You can’t just release that one back into the wild at that point (plus your examples)
I get that, but a swearing parrot kinda trumps ethics. It's even better if you have a dog or other pets that it cusses out. Sorry, I don't make the rules.
There's a few exceptions, like that YouTuber who rescues Toucans and keeps them in a huge aviary with outdoor and temp controlled sections. Or birds many many generations into captivity (I knew someone who did falconry and it's more that the bird just decides to stick around in that case.) But yeah.
Pileated Woodpeckers are cool though they stab the tree at high speeds and get those bugs.
I would be fast too if I did pilates
Skill issue.
All my partners have remarked how quick I am in bed. And I don't even know what Pilates are.
He's the guy that gave the order to kill Jesus
Imagine a fencing match between two woodpeckers, or two hummingbirds.
Their tongues wrap around their brain too as cushion.
Neat birb
Crows are pretty good at doing beak stuff
I've never dated a crow... what sort of beak stuff?
Over the shirt.
Well, theres [Redacted]
Counterpoint: I got five fillings in my teeth last week
Look at me I'm a hummingbird my whole shit's stupid 
fuck you
spoiler
JK ❤️
Idk i fuck up eating plenty, biting my lip accidentally or tongue. Coughing while talking and eating. A beak sounds pretty simple by comparison
Beak-a mitai kodomo na no ne 
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Slop posts go in c/slop. Don't post low-hanging fruit here.