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Going down to the cringe store, you guys need anything? (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 days ago by CloutAtlas@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

51 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Gotta be quick though, they promote random customers into unpaid managers known as "mods" and 90% of the time they start power tripping within 5 minutes.

Also, most of the paid employees are based out of Eglin Air Force Base which is a really long commute to China every day, so they're all really grumpy.

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[-] FishLake@lemmygrad.ml 60 points 2 days ago

This will get buried but, as a Redditor, can confirm. This. Literally this. I’ll probably get downvoted for this, but I was today’s years old when I learned that this made me spit my drink. Oh my sweet summer child, adulting is hard. Tell me you’re at the cringe store without telling me you’re at the cringe store. I came here to say this. Obligatory sexy time. Bold of you to assume I FTFY.

EDIT: THANK YOU FOR THE GOLD KIND STRANGER!!!

[-] cmhickman358@hexbear.net 23 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I also choose this person's cringe.

[-] dumpster_dove@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago

you just won the internet

[-] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 15 points 2 days ago

MAKE IT STOP! negative

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 19 points 2 days ago

To the top with you!

[-] godlessworm@hexbear.net 12 points 2 days ago

redditor here. this. so much this. this is so much win and much wholesome. LOL very wow. good day to you kind stranger, you are a gentleman and a scholar. anne frankly i did nazi that coming.

[-] Cat_Daddy@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago

Unpopular opinion time

[-] mattyroses@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 2 days ago

yeah, can you pick me up some paralyzing fear of the future wrapped up as enlightened and condescending centrism? They got tons of it.

[-] rubber_chicken@hexbear.net 22 points 2 days ago

Could I get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hillary-apartment

[-] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 22 points 2 days ago

Damn, our smuglord doesn't even have a fedora. Steal me one of those statues for emoting

[-] Aradino@hexbear.net 22 points 2 days ago

Yeah could I get one euphoric quote?

[-] decaptcha@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago

In this moment I am eurythmic

[-] Aradino@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago

Hey that's what sweet dreams are made of

[-] Carl@hexbear.net 12 points 2 days ago

Please tell me this is an ai generated image.

I hate that smug snoo so much. every time I'm looking up something and I check a Reddit thread about it that fucker blocks me until I change my VPN exit like 7 times.

[-] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 12 points 2 days ago

Nah, China has a lot of stores where they take a brand that exists in the west to use it to sell something that may or may not relate to the brand whatsoever.

In 2017, I went to a shop in a new-ish mall that was called "Porsche", the logo was the Porsche logo, the walls had pictures of different Porsche from throughout the years, the counter had a model of some model of Porsche 911 (looked 90's, not quite modern).

They sold handbags, wallets, gloves, scarves, sunglasses, belts, jackets and also co-incidentally perfumes.

[-] EllenKelly@hexbear.net 18 points 2 days ago

Pick me up some narwhaled bacon, and a side of 'mlady, thank you kind sir!

[-] Skye@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago

Ding ding ding! Methinks I had to scroll way too far to see this.

[-] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago

yeah let me get a uhhh logical fallacy

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 7 points 2 days ago

This store smells like the inside of a latex dog mask that somebody breathed into after eating a bunch of dorito brand tortilla chips.

[-] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 12 points 2 days ago

Yeah can I get, uhhhhhh, one obviously made up Am I The Asshole post?

[-] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago

I used to work with a guy who was such a Redditor stereotype that one time he couldn't find his car keys, and when he finally did, I commented, "it's always the last place you look," and he tried to "WULL ACKSHUALLY" at me. I insisted that he finished that sentence, because I was genuinely curious where in the fuck this pseudo-intellectual debatelord self-indulgence trip could possibly be headed, but he quickly changed the subject.

I thought I'd erased that memory, but this post brought it back. Thanks a lot.

[-] elpaso@hexbear.net 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I cut someone off a month ago because I realized he was Brian from Family Guy with a high karma reddit account.

Just fucking insufferable.

[-] godlessworm@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago

calling bullshit. you don't just "cut off" someone with a high karma reddit account. you need to show them respect and if you were in public i'm 100% certain anyone standing around wouldn't have put up with you disrespecting him like that.

[-] William_Nilliam@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago

It is very funny that the little thing is wearing a fedora

[-] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 15 points 2 days ago

Fun fact, if you try and view reddit on a VPN, that's the image that comes with the message blocking your access.

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 16 points 2 days ago

One updoot plz, you are a gentleman and a scholar

[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 12 points 2 days ago

Half the contents in there look like perfumes?

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 15 points 2 days ago

I don't think they know what reddit is and are just doing a copyright infringement (based)

[-] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago

Or the perfumes all smell like either musty basement or sweaty basement-dweller

[-] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago

Or:

>Meet one (1) redditor

>Decide that person and their ilk are in desperate need of perfume

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 15 points 2 days ago

uhhh can I get an epic bacon burger and the narwhal shake? Oh shit I forgot my fedora code for the discount, can I use yours?

[-] peeonyou@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago

this looks like the shibuya sky tower in Japan.. so many little crap stores in that building

[-] segfault11@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago

what i’m hearing is that this is place, japan soypoint-1

[-] peeonyou@hexbear.net 6 points 2 days ago

it could be.. but maybe not.. i dunno.. but I find it more likely Japan than China because China wouldn't be caught dead going on reddit

[-] 9to5@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago

I will have some Reddit Gold with my Harlem Shake

[-] Cat_Daddy@hexbear.net 4 points 2 days ago

Am poor, please take this substitute 🥇

[-] dustbunnies@hexbear.net 7 points 2 days ago

the posters' plea:

please just validate me

(I am in this post and I don't like it)

[-] peeonyou@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago

someone plz bacon the narwhile after 12am

[-] segfault11@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago

get me the narhaj

[-] alexei_1917@hexbear.net 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

And now I want a sparkly Blahaj with a unicorn horn, don't even know why I want to snuggle that but I do.

[-] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago

Attack helicopter

[-] ProletarianDictator@hexbear.net 9 points 2 days ago

I'll take a 6 pack of "EDIT: Thanks for the gold kind stranger!"

[-] QuietCupcake@hexbear.net 8 points 2 days ago

Hello Kitty with a fedora. disgost

[-] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 8 points 2 days ago

It's the reddit mascot with a fedora, which is official artwork since the new reddit UI was implemented.

You encounter it if you try and view Reddit on a VPN, I saw it quite often when I click a link to reddit-logo here while I was in China

[-] QuietCupcake@hexbear.net 7 points 2 days ago

Yeah I knew it was the reddit mascot, but I didn't know they made the fedora on it official. With the now almost universal negative connotations most people have with fedoras, it almost seems like they're telling on themselves by officially putting it on Snoo. Really leaning into the cringe.

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[-] Finger@hexbear.net 8 points 2 days ago

Can you get your hands on methlaymine?