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[-] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 86 points 9 months ago
[-] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

Username is tangentially relevant

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[-] linearchaos@lemmy.world 39 points 9 months ago

OMG, Had just moved into a new house. BEAUTIFUL white kitchen, marble counter tops, light grey floor, whole 9 yards.

Kid 1: I want home made pizzas for my birthday party

Me: FUUUUUUU...OK

Day of:

Split up the 17 batches of fermented dough I had made into pie rounds

Broke out the cast iron skillet.

Started working out dough rounds.

Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

Round -> corn starch-> skillet -> on the range on high sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

CRANKIN' IT OUT BOSS!

Oh shit I'm out of red sauce, grab another giant glass jar from the pantry

Go to grab something with my off hand, swing the sauce too close, comes down on the edge of the counter, 99.9% over the floor. CRACK!

Bottom of the glass jar just falls off. I'm wearing cargo shorts, it fills my pocket, and my shoe, and slops into the open drawer and down the counter face and as the glass hits the floor, the sprays up all over the rest of the counters and my shirt and the ceiling and the lip of the counter.

[-] sharkwellington@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago

That sounds like a real lasanyer shoe day.

[-] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago
  • Living space with pristine white room and furnishings
  • Living space with one or more children

Pick one.

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[-] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 8 points 9 months ago

Did you throw some spaghetti in that pocket and make your own meme photo?

[-] linearchaos@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Honestly even with the bloodbath that was there I couldn't hope to even approach the majesty of that photo.

[-] RalphFurley@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Man I thought the other night was bad. Just got my new fizzy drink maker machine. Showed my kids how awesome fizzy orange juice is. I didn't release the pressure after fizzing it up, remove the bottle and BOOM, fizzy OJ goes EVERYWHERE... ceiling, my face, walls, the clean dishes on the drying rack, windows etc etc. lol

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[-] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago

When mayonnaise used to be sold in glass jars I dropped a brand new jar and had mayonnaise and broken glass everywhere.

[-] crazyCat@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago

Were you able to salvage any? Just asking if it was Hellman’s you could maybe still use some from the top.

[-] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago

It was Hellmann's and no, it was an absolute shit show. I was cleaning mayonnaise off the ceiling

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[-] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 25 points 9 months ago

!boneappletea@lemmy.world

[-] misterwu@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago

Bitch lasanyer

[-] Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca 21 points 9 months ago

I used to be a delivery driver for a pizzaria. One night I got a really far delivery, like half an hour each way. I guess during that time the lasagna steamed the paper delivery bag, because I picked it up by the top (stupid) and made it three steps from my car before the lasagna fell out the bottom of the bag and exploded on this dudes driveway. Very sad.

[-] Psythik@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Then what happened? Was the customer understanding? Did you have to make the drive out again to replace it? What did your boss say?

[-] Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca 9 points 9 months ago

The customer was very understanding. I did drive out a second lasagna. Boss was angry, but he was always angry.

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[-] Hegar@kbin.social 16 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Is that troy "I sniff the seats of female parliamentarians and snap ~~my~~ opposition staffers' bras" buswell?

Edit: misremembered, turns out it was a labour staffer.

[-] Godric@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago

Holy schneikes, his Wikipedia page's "Controversies" section is WILD

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troy_Buswell

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago

This is as true as calling Clarence Thomas "justice"

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[-] Vespair@lemm.ee 8 points 9 months ago

As an American I love hearing about this kind of stuff because it makes me feel better about the embarrassing shitshow we've got going on over here. Doesn't make the situation any better, but it's nice to commiserate and know that everything is basically fucked everywhere else too

[-] porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml 5 points 9 months ago

Don't kid yourself, the rest of the world is still not quite as fucked up as the USA. But yeah lol Aussie politics is almost as dumb in a lot of ways.

[-] frezik@midwest.social 7 points 9 months ago

Holy shit, that guy needs Jim Carey to yell at him. "STOP GRABBING PEOPLE'S CROTCHES, ASSHOLE".

[-] klemptor@startrek.website 5 points 9 months ago

Wowzers you weren't kidding, what a shitshow that dude is!

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[-] Blackmist@feddit.uk 14 points 9 months ago

That's a small fuckin' family you got there, buddy.

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 10 points 9 months ago

Judging by the looks of the lasanyer, they don't really like their family either.

[-] Retrograde@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

That's a Stouffer's lasanyer if I ever saw one

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

That is definitely lasanyer, because no one makes lasagna with one giant sheet of pasta on the top and bottom.

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 14 points 9 months ago

Been having a lot of lasanyer on shoe days lately myself. I feel ya Troy.

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[-] Trollception@lemmy.world 11 points 9 months ago
[-] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

Sounds like a giant robot from a Japanese anime.

[-] xX_fnord_Xx@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

One who lasanyas.

[-] fox2263@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

What were they doing with lasanyer near the wall with shoes

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[-] ettyblatant@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago

IANALasanyer

[-] Fixbeat@lemmy.ml 8 points 9 months ago

That’s like a single piece of lasagna 🫤

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[-] p1mrx@sh.itjust.works 6 points 9 months ago

Frozen lasanyer is a trap! It's rigid going into the oven, but floppy coming out.

[-] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago

Skill issue

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[-] mvirts@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

My family is a lot bigger than that

[-] psud@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

"Family size" is a marketing term aimed at making the large size comfortable for women to buy

It's not really about how it could feed a family, though it could

[-] jenny_ball@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

party size chips. all for meeeee

[-] De_Narm@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

TIL I eat family sized portions. Like, that's lunch, at most.

[-] jenny_ball@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago
[-] Good_morning@lemmynsfw.com 7 points 9 months ago

These comments while not always inaccurate seem out of place, like I've seen fat fucks around the globe. America has an obesity problem for sure but this just comes off with a lot of smug.

[-] JamesStallion@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

There is data, so we can be positive that America has more fat fucks per capita than almost anywhere else on the planet. The only countries with higher obesity rates are the various pacific islands.

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[-] De_Narm@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Far off actually. I've just always eaten a lot, anything less and I start losing weight.

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[-] histic@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 9 months ago

that's like a cake tray of lasagna

[-] platypus_plumba@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

That has the area of 2 feet and looks pretty tall. I think you wouldn't be able to eat that whole thing.

[-] Arbiter@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

I don’t think he wanted to eat those shoes.

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[-] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Those shoes look pretty lame to be anybody's favorite pair. And it's only on one of them, what a complainer.

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this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
757 points (99.2% liked)

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