149

i just thought of that and was like wow china is so scary

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] jackmarxist@hexbear.net 52 points 1 year ago
[-] polskilumalo@lemmygrad.ml 28 points 1 year ago

this never happened #fakenews

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] TheSpectreOfGay@hexbear.net 32 points 1 year ago

that would be fucked up and scary, wow

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

It makes me sick they'd even want to do this I mean what is wrong with them

[-] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

Look up "asiatic skull"

Not on google of course, they hide the TRUTH

[-] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago

Like the borehole that ussr built for "science"

[-] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago

Look, dudes rock, and they don't need to come up excuses for when they just want to dig a big hole

[-] CannotSleep420@lemmygrad.ml 33 points 1 year ago

You mean the USSRussy?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] buh@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago

They better not be because that’s supposed to be my thing

[-] GaveUp@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago

We have to use the nukes

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

China looked at me once and said and it scared me

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 25 points 1 year ago

Seems likely. We wouldn't even know because it's always night over there when it's day over here, but it's night over hear when it's day over there, so we wouldn't be able to see it!

[-] trudge@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago

China's several timezones ahead, so they can stab us from the future. We can't see it coming. We need to develop our counter knife program immediately so that we can stab them from the past as a preemptive defense!

[-] silent_water@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

it's time to bring back the giant spoon. it was a shield all along. stalin-spoon

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

We must take control of the sun!

[-] Frank@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

It's on my agenda after we crash mercury in to mars as part of my scientific plan to fix astrology.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Krause@lemmygrad.ml 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

☝🤓 uhm akshually if China built a knife like that they would only be able to stab parts of South America

https://engaging-data.com/antipodes-map/

[-] huf@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago

they could stab at an angle, the chinese know about angles.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] neo@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

this website is really cool!

[-] el_principito@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago
[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 31 points 1 year ago

they could stab you through the floor just for posting "tinman square" even tho its your free speech

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] MerryChristmas@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago

Wait do you think they are, though?

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

OH LOOK ITS THE CHINESE SPY BOTS COMING OUT IN FORCE TO DENY THE ULTRAKNIFE WOW OK WE KNOW BUT OK

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Mindfury@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

does this therefore prophesize that a future socialist project will unleash the giant fork upon the world in 2100?

or do you think President Kim is already working on it?

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago
[-] SerLava@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

Damn, real if true 😔

[-] happyandhappy@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

if china has the knife and russia has the spoon who has the fork?

[-] oregoncom@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

Germany. They have human forks. There was meme going on in China where DW published an article about "Human Rights in China" and the cover said "Human Forks" instead of Human Rights really big in Chinese because surprise surprise, German state media knows nothing about China.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Mokey@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago
[-] ikilledtheradiostar@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

Give me 3000 words and we'll get you in NYT

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

ChinaKnife: The Ultimate Weapon?

Last night news broke on a Chinese disinformation space, Hexbear.net, that China is potentially developing a weapon of mass destruction. User "Happybadger" announced that the superweapon is capable of assassinating any person anywhere on Earth, utilising the core itself to shield itself from any warning systems. This weapon required well over a decade of covert research to design and will effectively hold the planet hostage down to the level of the individual world leader or dissident. The weapon is reported to consist of a gigantic knife of unknown composition, likely a titanium alloy if not a secret material, which pierces through the ground to stab the victim. This superweapon is believed to be at least 7,926mi (12,756km) long, built without disclosure to any other member of the UN. This distance ensures that it can pierce the full diameter of the planet. It is presumably longer so that the knife can kill its victim even if they are in a tall building such as the One World Trade Centre. This building was constructed in the aftermath of the collapse of the previous World Trade Centre buildings which were infamously destroyed in the 9/11 attacks. China has not responded to repeated email inquiries confirming or denying this story, even to mrpresident@china.gov which is reported to be the personal email account of Chinese leader Xi Jinping. Mr. Jinping would surely have full knowledge of the hyper-knife, or ChinaKnife as it's being called by at least one media outlet, and would have overseen its development. It is imperative that the US military consider a preemptive nuclear strike.

[-] Fishroot@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

RULES OF NATURE

[-] Thordros@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

sargeras no

[-] Commiejones@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Good! serves them dirty hobitses right!

[-] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

It's okay, because it will just leave a big Scar that you can use to make anything Possible by playing your Perhapsadian (also maybe don't fuck a New Crobuzon spy because he'll just use you to carry out his agenda)

[-] macabrett@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago
[-] FactuallyUnscrupulou@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

Work is like kicking my ass today.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2023
149 points (99.3% liked)

chapotraphouse

13545 readers
745 users here now

Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.

No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer

Gossip posts go in c/gossip. Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from c/gossip

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS