616
Stretching (slrpnk.net)
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] rtxn@lemmy.world 118 points 11 months ago

(opens Blender with malicious intent)

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 135 points 11 months ago
load more comments (3 replies)
[-] Meron35@lemmy.world 114 points 11 months ago

I've been thinking about it for several days, and have come to the conclusion that Elastigirl could indeed grow a dick. As shown in multiple scenes, she can stretch any part of her body to make it many times larger. Based on what she has done, it should be no problem for her to extend her genitals into a penis. This brings us to the second discussion point. Mr. Incredible has super-strength, and more importantly, super endurance. This means that his wife could easily expand her dick to several yards in length. The problem of fitting in into Bob's tight asshole could easily be solved by inserting it while small, and ballooning up afterwards. I think the writers made them have these Specific powers on purpose. It seems unlikely that it is a coincidence that Helen has the ability to grow a massive dick, and her husband just so happens to have an indestructible anus. Therefore I conclude that not only does Elastigirl have the biggest dick in the world, she bones Mr. Incredible with it on a regular basis. And because it is a girl and a guy, it is by definition, not gay

[-] admin@sh.itjust.works 49 points 11 months ago

What the fuck did I just read?

[-] jollyrogue@lemmy.ml 59 points 11 months ago

The abstract for OP’s PHD thesis.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 25 points 11 months ago

Please invite me to the defense of the thesis, I'll sit in the back and ask relevant questions that you can answer easily and allows you to show off your intellectual prowess at the same time.

[-] luciferofastora@lemmy.zip 24 points 11 months ago

I appreciate the effort you put into writing this. Not the result, but at least the effort.

[-] psmgx@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

Fuckin QED, mate

[-] verdantbanana@lemmy.world 71 points 11 months ago
[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 64 points 11 months ago
[-] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 32 points 11 months ago

I should ask her how it's hanging

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

She'd just slap you with it you know

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 71 points 11 months ago

I know I couldn't do this on Reddit but can I delete someone else's post on Lemmy?

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 51 points 11 months ago

Yes.

Step 1: Host an instance

Step 2: Delete a post

[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 28 points 11 months ago

I like Lemmy better already.

[-] gregor@gregtech.eu 9 points 11 months ago

Hehehehe I can do that

[-] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 43 points 11 months ago

More importantly:

The only reason they hooked up in the first place was that her powers allowed her to take that Incredidick™ without dying.

[-] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

It's the, ah, finish that's the danger.

Basically this:

(I'm sorry)

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 35 points 11 months ago

you shouldnt ask questions you already know the answer to

[-] Maultasche@lemmy.world 23 points 11 months ago
[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

To the person who flagged this NSFW because of the language, you probably will not last long on Lemmy if "clit" and "dick" (misspelled) are too not safe for where you work.

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 8 points 11 months ago

Doing the Lord's work Squidward

load more comments (9 replies)
[-] cordlesslamp@lemmy.today 21 points 11 months ago

✊ TO THE SEARCH MACHINE!

Rule 34, don't you fail me now!!

[-] MehBlah@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

Based on random deviant art from just logging in you wont be disappointed.

[-] psmgx@lemmy.world 19 points 11 months ago

everyday we stray further from god

[-] Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

I'm pretty sure the fanart of that exists somewhere. Rules 34 and 35, y'know.

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago

I don't see why not.

[-] ichbinjasokreativ@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago
[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 28 points 11 months ago
[-] gregor@gregtech.eu 6 points 11 months ago

This will be very useful in the future in, tysm!

[-] iiGxC@slrpnk.net 10 points 11 months ago

Cause they'll never get to see her do this?

[-] baggins@lemmy.ca 14 points 11 months ago

Not with that attitude

[-] lath@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

She could, but it would be hard to keep it hardened long enough or tough enough for it to be used that way. She's not a fucking pokemon after all...

[-] 0ops@lemm.ee 29 points 11 months ago

She turned herself into a motorboat

[-] lath@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

But not for motorboating purposes.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Akasazh@feddit.nl 6 points 11 months ago

fucking pokemon

I got distracted

[-] OldWoodFrame@lemm.ee 6 points 11 months ago

Speaking of Vaporeon...

[-] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

The meme my fet needed

[-] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 10 points 11 months ago

It wouldn't be pegging then, would it?

[-] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

Wouldn't it be too sensitive to fuck with?

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 39 points 11 months ago

My wife tells me I'm to sensitive to fuck with.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 18 points 11 months ago

Presumably the nerves wouldn't multiply and they'd be spread out, creating a faux penis in a process that wasn't entirely dissimilar from evolution's.

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 14 points 11 months ago

female hyenas would like to know your location

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 7 points 11 months ago

Well she'd probably accelerate up to teenage-boy initial orgasm speed, but because she's a woman she could just keep going until she's had enough of them. And presumably the nerve endings would be more dispersed due to stretching.

[-] mjhelto@lemm.ee 9 points 11 months ago

That's enough Internet for today!

[-] magnetosphere@fedia.io 7 points 11 months ago

I don’t know, but I guarantee they’ve at least tried.

[-] Phegan@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Do you think she can extend it enough for fuck bois to find it?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2024
616 points (96.7% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

33067 readers
1657 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS