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[-] zazo@lemmy.world 103 points 11 months ago

Being grateful is pretty neat but make sure to reciprocate! - "Suck her clit every morning to thank her for choosing you" 🥰

[-] HonkTonkWoman@lemm.ee 25 points 11 months ago

“Flick that bean to let her know how much she means.”

[-] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 11 points 11 months ago
[-] zzx@lemmy.world 29 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

My girl doesn't like oral :(

But I love giving it so much it's actually a curse

[-] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 13 points 11 months ago
[-] not_that_guy05@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

Triplets I guess. Sometimes we trade of for other things I guess.

[-] Shou@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

This is a tragedy

[-] ScientifficDoggo@lemmy.zip 5 points 11 months ago

There are DOZENS of us.

[-] jballs@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago
[-] LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

Haha it's the job market all over again. How are ya going to get better at oral if you never get to practice?

[-] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 7 points 11 months ago

I think the original quote has more of a Weinstien implication but yours is a lot more wholesome

[-] Nikls94@lemmy.world 91 points 11 months ago
[-] gibmiser@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

Nyahahahahahahah

[-] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 34 points 11 months ago

Really? The america has a blowjob crisis lady?

[-] Treble@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 11 months ago

We're sexless and afraid.

[-] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 31 points 11 months ago

never expected oprah to say something i'd expect a self-proclaimed "alpha male" who's actually an incel to say. what a time to be alive...

[-] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 67 points 11 months ago

(psst it's not a real quote).

[-] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 36 points 11 months ago

lol ate the onion again

in my defense, i still believe j.d. vance fucks couches

[-] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 30 points 11 months ago

You think Oprah has sucked a dick since becoming a billionaire?

[-] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 35 points 11 months ago

I wouldn't stop performing oral if I became a billionaire, why would anyone? It's fun.

[-] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

Do you think Queen Elizabeth sucked dick? These are the questions that plague me and keep me awake at night.

[-] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago

I bet she was even more freaky than that. Rich people who come from a long line of rich people in a sexually repressed upper class are freaks man, for real.

[-] Melvin_Ferd@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

When it happens do you say " husband it is time for performing oral" and your husband says "why indeed it is time for performing oral how delightful."

[-] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 6 points 11 months ago

No, actually. Much dirtier words are used.

[-] HonkTonkWoman@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago

I do t know them, and I mean no offense, but I’m guessing it would sound a little more akin to:

hhmmmmthhhhthhbnmmmmmmnpppppppphhhyyyyyyyyyyhhhttttttttttttssddshhshshshshssssssssssmmmsmsmsmsmmsmsssssppppppppppppwoooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppttfthhjhjjffffffffmmmmmmmmsmsmsmmssstthghhgggpop

But that’s just a guess.

[-] Classy@sh.itjust.works 7 points 11 months ago

Got Dat grapefruit game

[-] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago
[-] kerrypacker@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Steadman sucks her dick.

[-] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Nah lemme consensually bust in that pussy every morning and we good. You don't even need to be up. We got the contract for this.

Shoutouts to TimeStop and FreeUse.

[-] TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

I want to click the link, but not sure…

[-] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

I need just a few minutes of Operahs time. 5 minutes tops. Just need her to tell this to my wife.

[-] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 11 points 11 months ago

Does this include my boss? Because I’m not opposed to it as such, but he might be.

[-] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

This is like famous quotes on Norm MacDonald Live as read by Gilbert Gottfried

https://youtu.be/o3ZprSH0Y0U?si=NwPef1SuRZw7khAF

[-] dudinax@programming.dev 1 points 11 months ago

That bit reminds me of this classic from the Onion:

https://www.bobcesca.com/the_onion_on_la/

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

What if my employer is a woman?

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 points 11 months ago

"Lickitongue, I choose youuuuuuuu!"

[-] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Was she talking about Dr. Oz or Dr. Phil?

[-] sunzu@kbin.run 3 points 11 months ago

This regime whore prolly really thinks we all should suck her dick tbh since she is a hard working, bootstrapping boomer.

this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2024
472 points (94.5% liked)

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