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[-] zazo@lemmy.world 103 points 1 month ago

Being grateful is pretty neat but make sure to reciprocate! - "Suck her clit every morning to thank her for choosing you" 🥰

[-] HonkTonkWoman@lemm.ee 25 points 1 month ago

“Flick that bean to let her know how much she means.”

[-] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago
[-] zzx@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

My girl doesn't like oral :(

But I love giving it so much it's actually a curse

[-] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago
[-] not_that_guy05@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Triplets I guess. Sometimes we trade of for other things I guess.

[-] Shou@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

This is a tragedy

[-] ScientifficDoggo@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago

There are DOZENS of us.

[-] jballs@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago
[-] LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Haha it's the job market all over again. How are ya going to get better at oral if you never get to practice?

[-] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 month ago

I think the original quote has more of a Weinstien implication but yours is a lot more wholesome

[-] Nikls94@lemmy.world 91 points 1 month ago
[-] gibmiser@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Nyahahahahahahah

[-] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 34 points 1 month ago

Really? The america has a blowjob crisis lady?

[-] Treble@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 month ago

We're sexless and afraid.

[-] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 31 points 1 month ago

never expected oprah to say something i'd expect a self-proclaimed "alpha male" who's actually an incel to say. what a time to be alive...

[-] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 67 points 1 month ago

(psst it's not a real quote).

[-] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 36 points 1 month ago

lol ate the onion again

in my defense, i still believe j.d. vance fucks couches

[-] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago

You think Oprah has sucked a dick since becoming a billionaire?

[-] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 month ago

I wouldn't stop performing oral if I became a billionaire, why would anyone? It's fun.

[-] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Do you think Queen Elizabeth sucked dick? These are the questions that plague me and keep me awake at night.

[-] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

I bet she was even more freaky than that. Rich people who come from a long line of rich people in a sexually repressed upper class are freaks man, for real.

[-] Melvin_Ferd@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

When it happens do you say " husband it is time for performing oral" and your husband says "why indeed it is time for performing oral how delightful."

[-] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

No, actually. Much dirtier words are used.

[-] HonkTonkWoman@lemm.ee 3 points 1 month ago

I do t know them, and I mean no offense, but I’m guessing it would sound a little more akin to:

hhmmmmthhhhthhbnmmmmmmnpppppppphhhyyyyyyyyyyhhhttttttttttttssddshhshshshshssssssssssmmmsmsmsmsmmsmsssssppppppppppppwoooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppttfthhjhjjffffffffmmmmmmmmsmsmsmmssstthghhgggpop

But that’s just a guess.

[-] Classy@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago

Got Dat grapefruit game

[-] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago
[-] kerrypacker@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Steadman sucks her dick.

[-] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Nah lemme consensually bust in that pussy every morning and we good. You don't even need to be up. We got the contract for this.

Shoutouts to TimeStop and FreeUse.

[-] TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I want to click the link, but not sure…

[-] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

I need just a few minutes of Operahs time. 5 minutes tops. Just need her to tell this to my wife.

[-] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 11 points 1 month ago

Does this include my boss? Because I’m not opposed to it as such, but he might be.

[-] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

This is like famous quotes on Norm MacDonald Live as read by Gilbert Gottfried

https://youtu.be/o3ZprSH0Y0U?si=NwPef1SuRZw7khAF

[-] dudinax@programming.dev 1 points 1 month ago

That bit reminds me of this classic from the Onion:

https://www.bobcesca.com/the_onion_on_la/

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

What if my employer is a woman?

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 points 1 month ago

"Lickitongue, I choose youuuuuuuu!"

[-] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Was she talking about Dr. Oz or Dr. Phil?

[-] sunzu@kbin.run 3 points 1 month ago

This regime whore prolly really thinks we all should suck her dick tbh since she is a hard working, bootstrapping boomer.

this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2024
472 points (94.5% liked)

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